Coach from the Couch - AFL Week Four Wrapup

Week four in the AFL demonstrated how bad a spanking some teams can lay on others.  We saw an undefeated team yanked from the ranks of, well undefeated.  We witnessed the second highest scoring total by one team in league history. 

Two teams remain in the hunt for going undefeated all season, and they are in the same division.  Two teams remain totally defeated, as their records indicate a giant zero in the win column.  Everyone else?  Well they fall somewhere in between. 

Most notable game of the week Grand Rapids Rampage vs. Kansas City Brigade

—In what can only be described as “Point scoring in maximal epidemic proportional magnitudal extravaganza”,  Grand Rapids lived up to the “Rampage” name, by beating Kansas City so bad, they probably needed baby powder to cool off their rear ends.

The victory, a 92-52 pasting of the Brigade, demonstrates one of the more basic concepts of the AFL; that being lack of defense.  James McPherson, quarterback of the Rampage, threw for NINE touchdowns. 

NINE, tying a franchise record for most touchdowns in a game!!!  As hard as it is to believe, Kansas City actually led this game 17-14 at the end of the first quarter.  I guess if I were KC’s coach, I’d say “Well, we played ‘em tough for 15 minutes”. 

Six seconds into the second quarter, Grand Rapids took the lead for good.  92 points was the second highest points scoring total ever, and highest points tally ever for a road team.  All this after they went to the ground game to burn up the clock in the second half. 

Anthony, a wideout for Grand Rapids hauled in four of those touchdowns in the victory.  Grand Rapids records their first victory of the season, moving to 1-2 while Kansas City falls to 0-3.  If you live in Kansas City, and can play defense, even if you are on a pee wee football team, they may take a look at you.

Butt Pasting No. 2 (no pun intended)—If you weren’t an AFL aficionado, and no one told you beforehand the Cleveland Gladiators were undefeated, no one in New Orleans would have believed you after watching the Gladiators get crunched by the VooDoo 63-24.  New Orleans used a combination of five turnovers, four of those a club tying interceptions in a game mark,  and two special teams run backs for touchdowns to knock Cleveland from the ranks of the unbeaten. 

The VooDoo, after an 0-1 start, improve to 3-1.  Cleveland drops to 3-1.   As good as Raymond Philyaw has been for the Gladiators, on this day he was that bad.  An injured hand finally forced him from the game.

Rear End Shellacking No. 3—As bad as previously undefeated Cleveland looked, that was how good still undefeated Philadelphia appeared.  The Soul pounded Las Angeles for 71 points, and beat LA 71-34 behind an eight touchdown day from Phili’s QB Matt D’Orazio.  Wide receiver Chris Jackson nabbed a whopping six of those 

D’Orazio filled in for an injured Graziani in victory.  Graziani, whose injury sent the Philadelphia season into a tail-spin one season prior, will likely be out several weeks.  Philadelphia fans have to be breathing a huge sigh of relief, knowing they have a capable backup.  Philadelphia is 4-0 on the year, while Las Angeles falls to .500 at 2-2, and ride a two game losing streak in which they were pounded both games. 

Speaking of Undefeateds—The other team left at 4-0 is the Dallas Desparados.  Even with the loss of wide receiver extraordinaire Will Pettis to a concussion, Dallas pulled out a close one 59-56 against defending Arena Bowl Champ San Jose.  A ten point cushion with thirty four seconds left turned into a three point cushion when San Jose’s Mark Grieb connected with his sixth touchdown pass of the evening. 

Time expired, however, leaving San Jose three points shy in probably the closest contest of the week.  Dallas and Philadephia, based on their performances so far, could both be undefeated when they meet in week nine.  That, however is a LONG way off, but may be the game of the season assuming both stay perfect.

A team living up to their name is the Chicago Crush—Quarterback Sherdrick Bonner returned from becoming a father in grand fashion, throwing four touchdown passes,  two of them to wide receiver Damian Herrell, who became the all-time touchdown receptions leader ever with 304.  Turnovers told the tale in yet another AFL contest, with Colorado fumbling twice and having two field goal attempts blocked in defeat.  The Rush are 3-1, their only loss to undefeated Philadelphia.  Colorado falls to 1-2.

Speaking of close games—The Orlando Predators and Georgia Force fought, literally, until the end of the game; then Georgia fought with officials over the last play.  Trailing 50-45, Charles Pauley caught an 18 yard reception that appeared, at least to Georgia, to score the winning touchdown as time expired. 

Officials ruled Pauley out of bounds at the one, preserving the Orlando victory and leaving Georgia a yard shy of winning.  Despite much pissing and moaning, Georgia came up short.  All THIS happened after Orlando took the lead 50-45 on a touchdown with 22 seconds left in the game.  This one was not a game where you wanted to leave early. Orlando is 2-2 while the Force drop to 1-3 on the year.

Rounding out the close games category, and the week—Columbus went to Utah and kept the Blaze winless with a 52-49 victory.  Poised to win their first game this year, Utah played Columbus to a 49-49 tie, but Columbus kicker Mark Lewis booted a 35 yard field goal as time expired, giving the Destroyers victory.  The Blaze have played some close, high scoring contests so far this year, but have yet to taste the sweet nectar of victory.  They fall to 0-4.  Columbus, on the other hand, moves to 1-3 on the year and does know what victory new tastes like.

Week five kicks off Friday, as the Rattlers travel to Chicago to take on the Rush.  Saturday and Sunday round out the week, with no Monday Night game on tap.  Until then,  cover the couch, put away the Cheetos, and go beer shopping.  Friday is just around the corner.