Come To Think Of It: Chicago Bears Brian Urlacher To Denver for Jay Cutler?

Bob Warja@@bobwarjaSenior Writer IMarch 16, 2009

Chicago Bears bossman Jerry Angelo walked into a Denver football restaurant yesterday.

Bus Cook, aka "Bus Boy", recognized the Bears GM and shook his hand. "Oh, hello, Mr. Angelo, it's great to see you sir. Right this way...your quarterback is ready."

Cook, the agent for Denver Broncos QB Jay Cutler, has asked for a trade and knows that Angelo made QB the organization's top priority this offseason.

For those of you who may have forgotten, this is what Angelo told reporters back in December: “I know that there’s going to be a lot of talk about our No. 1 receiver [but] guys, it starts with the quarterback,” Angelo said. “We have to get the quarterback position stabilized. And we’re fixated on that.”

Knowing that Angelo is a man of his word, and would never say something this forcibly without taking action, he proceeded to show him to his QB.

"The menu is very good here", Bus Boy said. "The special today is Jay Cutler, who made his first Pro Bowl this season after passing for 4,526 yards, 25 TDs, and a QB rating of 86.0."

Angelo looked around nervously and cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah, I see. But you know, I'm not really that hungry right now."

This dismayed Bus Boy.

"How can you tell me that, Mr. Angelo? Didn't you tell the world that you would basically pull out all the stops to finally get that elusive franchise QB the Bears have been lacking all these years?"

Angelo was clearly starting to sweat now, beads of perspiration forming around his brow.

"Yes, I said that and I stand by my words. It's just that, uh, well, we did go out and get a QB," Angelo stammered.

Bus Boy was starting to get annoyed. "Are you talking about former Northwestern quarterback Brett Basanez?" he asked.

"Well, sure, we signed him to a two-year deal. And we have Caleb Haney too, don't forget, so I've certainly done my job," expressed Angelo.

Now Bus Boy was clearly getting agitated, for he knows that neither of the two will likely ever be a starter in the NFL. While anything's possible, he knew that the words that Angelo had spoken last December weren't indicative of such low-risk moves.

In fact, like many Bears fans, he thought that the team was finally serious about getting an established QB in camp.

"And I never said that I didn't have confidence in Kyle Orton," Angelo said.

Well, then, thought Bus Boy, certainly Angelo was going to surround Orton with a veteran receiver or two, so that the young QB could have the weapons he needs to have a fair shot at proving himself this season, right?

"OK Mr. Angelo, if you don't have a taste for Cutler, may I interest you in a receiver from our vast menu?" Bus Boy asked.

Sweat was now streaming down Angelo's face.

"Uh, well, you know, I left my wallet at home, darn the luck. Let me come back another day," Angelo replied.

At this point, Bus Boy was so frustrated he went for the jugular.

"Look, Mr. Angelo, I'll just give you our top menu item, Jay Cutler. Now what do you say?"

Angelo's face immediately brightened.

"Well, we'll have to see if we can fit him into our budget, Bus Boy, but I might have some interest. What's the catch?"

"No catch," replied Bus Boy. "But you know, since I am already at the restaurant, I called Coach McDaniels to see if he wanted something."

"Does he have a taste for anything?" Angelo nervously asked Bus Boy.

"In fact he does, Mr. Angelo. He said he could use a little Bear meat, come to think of it. How about Brian Urlacher?"

"I've got to go," said Angelo. "I've got to help my boss, Ted Phillips, squeeze blood from a turnip."

And with that, Jerry got on his bike and peddled away.


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