The Media Circus: Yearning for Steve Phillips

Baseball season is so close, we can almost smell the fresh grass, taste the draft beer, and hear the idiotic comments from Steve Phillips.

Since the former Mets general manager has joined ESPN, he and The Media Circus have created a complex love-hate relationship involving numerous pictures of a fake press conference.

We fully expect 2009 to be yet another memorable summer filled with Phillips’ zany opinions and his perfectly groomed facial hair.

Just as the players are gearing up for the season in Florida, we too are gearing up for our six-month, one-way exchange with Steve-O. Just to get us primed, he gave us a small nugget to chew on from his seat as the analyst during a World Baseball Classic game between the Netherlands and the Dominican Republic.

It was small and not terribly controversial, but it reminded us that we better perk up our ears because it’s only going to get better from here.

“My opinion, the best player in the National League. He can do everything that can impact a game.”—Steve Phillips speaking of Marlins short stop, Hanley Ramirez.

Call us homers, Steve, but that Pujols guy is pretty good too. Considering he had a better batting average, slugging percentage, and on base percentage, more home runs, RBI, doubles, walks, less strikeouts, and also plays substantially better defense than Hanley, we think we’ve got a pretty good case.

Ah, good to have you back, Mr. Phillips.

Crap That Actually Came From Somebody’s Mouth

“However, (West Virginia coach Bob Huggins) cannot wear that suit that makes him look like 300 pounds of butter running up and down the sidelines”—Bobby Knight on Huggins’ yellow suit.

The beauty of this quote is that it was funny and that Bobby Knight didn’t even crack a smile when he said it.
___

“(Ty) Lawson is so close to a triple double. He has 10 points, nine assists and eight rebounds.”—Jim Nantz

Even closer to a double-double, Jim.
___

“They’ve got three former general managers (Walker, Bonifay, Bavasi). That’s a pretty good brain trust up there.”—Dusty Baker

Someone should kindly tell Dusty that Bill Bavasi was a horrible general manager—and part of the reason the Mariners lost $4.5 million in ‘08. We guess that
___

“On the field, he’s going to create, or need, a lot of attention from the defense.”—Trent Edwards, on T.O.

Ah Trent Edwards…yes…the young lad who doesn’t see the irony in his quote.

T.O. Coverage Stock Soars to Unprecedented Levels

If there’s one thing all of us can count on, it’s ample coverage of all things T.O. Lord knows we’ve never heard nor seen this story in our existence.

Let’s refresh:

The T.O. signing isn’t all about T.O.

Alex Marvez is here to tell us the same T.O. learned nothing.

T.O. through the years can be seen in photo-slide show.

You can view video of T.O. speaking in Buffalo and making up why he’s so happy to be a member of the Bills franchise.

Also, don’t forget that Jay Glazer has all the details on Buffalo’s courtship of Terrell Owens.

That and more, coming up on the Terrell Owens Network.

ESPN Goes Public With Their Strict Hiring Qualifications

Apparently the Worldwide Leader wants to make 100 percent sure you know that they go through extensive research and implement rigid requirements before even considering anyone for their open on-camera “analyst” position.

And if you didn’t know that already, they’ve added a “resume” feature to make damn sure.

At least the Bottom Line inadvertently makes the on-air talent look bad.

The Chronicles of J.T. O’Sullivan

When the Associated Press reported the Bengals’ signing of Mike Martz reclamation project J.T. O’Sullivan, we noted an “error” when the AP wrote of O’Sullivan’s 2008 campaign with the 49ers…and New Orleans Saints (the post has since been updated).

We’ll chalk it up to semantics or a technicality, since O’Sullivan originally broke into the league with the Saints. Sure we still think the AP is stupid—and J.T. played for the Lions most recently prior to his 49ers gig, but whatever.

During our fact checking quest, we couldn’t help but notice how much more ridiculous O’Sullivan looks in Bengals orange.

That’s not just the hair, people. Don’t let the locks fool you—the Bengals stripes make him look even worse.

By the way, be sure to check out some of J.T.’s finer scholastic works. Dude is a freaking genius.

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They really enjoyed reading O’Sullivan’s thesis on errant footballs in space. Email them at [e-mail].