Jerry Jones Emasculates T.O., Own Ego

In a move that everyone except stupid people saw coming, the marriage of Terrell Owens and the Dallas Cowboys came to an end Wednesday night.

Jerry Jones and the rest of us would like to hear from ESPN on this matter …

Yea. Good. Who else???

Well dognabbit, we should have known! Werder planted that GPS tracking device on Jerry Jones’ buttocks in ‘06 - no way he was missing this one.

Of course! Michael Smith was watching SportsCenter 27 minutes earlier, saw the story and phoned in Bristol to tell ‘em what he heard from his “insiders” in the Cowboys locker room.

We need more, though. Some venom and articulation. We need some STEPHEN!

DAMN IT ALREADY, WE SAID STEPHEN! GET ME STEPHEN!

AND GET ME STEPHEN NOW!!!

Stephen is gonna be pissed.

March 5

1947 - Former Pirates and Phillies pitcher Kent Tekulve is born, doctors are stunned to see the infant already wearing his shades.

1966 - Michael Irvin is born. Ironic that on the day the world finds out that the Cowbys cut their loudmouth receiver, another loudmouth Cowboys receiver celebrates.

1979 - NASA’s Voyager comes within 172,000 miles of Jupiter.  NASA withheld comment when asked if they were able to see Sam Cassell from there.###MORE###

Upon receiving the news (from 15 ESPN analysts no less) about Terrell Owens being cut by the Cowboys…

“Looks like the Cowboys…are all out of TO’s.”

YEEEEOOOWWWW!

You should (LOSE WEIGHT), because (SUGAR RAY LEONARD) said so…

Sugar Ray.  Named Fighter of the Decade for the 1980s, and widely considered to be one of the best boxers of all time.  Now, appearing as a guest on NBC’s Biggest Loser and groping fat chicks.

We should’ve paid athletes better in the 80s.

To help ease the effects of the struggling economy on unsigned Major League Baseball veterans, JSF looks into some alternative job placement for a few select players.

JoeSportsFan.com debuts its newest weekly feature…and lets just say Al Hrabosky’s most cherished feature plays a big role.