MMA: 10 Things We Would Love to Hear Referees Say to Start a Fight

I don't know about you, but I watch MMA as much for a referee's opening fight line as I do for the fight itself.

I mean, when 'Big' John McCarthy lets fly with his patented, 'Let's get it on, c'mon,' my eyes widen, my heart rate quickens and my arms spontaneously raise in triumph. Every time.

And I know I am not alone in this admiration. Who can deny that the opening fight line is not a sport on its own?

But even I, the staunchest champion of referee lines, cannot ignore the problem currently hampering the sport within the sport. That problem is a lack of originality. 

See, most referees have their own line, but they invariably mean the same thing—go on, fight. There are many ways to convey this message, but sadly it is the message itself that just isn't doing it for me any more.

It's time to mix things up and I have taken the lead for this initiative by supplying templates for 10 new things a referee could say to signal the beginning of an MMA match.

While this is a start, I call upon you, the reader, to add any helpful suggestions you may have in the comments section. Together, we will return the art of fight-starting lines to its former glory. 

'Good Luck ________.' (But Only to One Fighter)

Imagine Chael Sonnen and Forrest Griffin bouncing in their respective corners, just waiting to get at each other. The referee steps up, addresses each combatant in turn, smacks his hands together and shouts, "Alright, good luck Forrest!"

Even refs have to have favorite fighters right? Doesn't forcing them into equal well-wishing kind of diminish their humanity and strip them of their individuality? That's just not right.

From now on, I hope to see referees state their pick to win before the fight, and back them with such remarks as "Go get him GSP," "You can do this Chael," or "Knock his head off, Mighty Mouse!"

It would only be right.

"Fighters Ready? Ok, I'll Be Right Back. Start!"

I spent last slide championing the humanity and individuality of MMA referees, and this slide will be no different.

Referees are people too. As people, they get hungry, bored, or have to go to the washroom at inopportune moments.

What would happen if Steve Mazzagatti was craving a pizza pocket like crazy, or had to use the toilet, just as he was expected to start a match? 

Realistically, he cannot postpone the fight. But, at the same time you cannot seriously expect him to ignore these urges.

So, getting the fighters to begin without him seems the only logical choice.

Everyone wins: the fans, the fighters and the ref himself, who can make it back for Round 2 with a full belly and an empty bladder.

'Alright, Let's Get This over With.'

This one would be appropriate for a certain type of fight. You know the one I mean—the type that just reeks of dullness and inactivity.

Just imagine you were cursed with the unenviable fate of having to travel back in time to watch Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop again. Wouldn't it be appropriate for Herb Dean, who had the dubious honor of managing that match, to have said something along these lines?

If the referee's call proved prophetic and the fight was underwhelming, at least the opening moment of the bout would be somewhat entertaining (if not just for the shock value).

And if the fight turned out to be a great one? Well, no harm no foul.

'Geez, Calm Down Guys.'

Fighters often look quite angry as they prepare to battle one another, and it only seems logical that someone should take it upon his or herself to do something about that.

Since it is the referee's job to do their utmost to ensure fighter safety, it only seems logical that it should be the referee who soothes the visual animosity between the two caged-in fighters.

Otherwise, someone could get seriously hurt.

'Judges Awake? Begin!'

MMA judges probably take a little more flak than is deserved, but sometimes they just seem to score a fight completely at random.

While some have called for better judge-education or standardized scoring criteria, I believe that such improvements must necessarily be supplemented with assurances that the judges will watch the fight to truly benefit the sport.

A friendly reminder from the referee before action gets underway couldn't hurt.

"Round 1. Fight."

Seems generic, right? 

But before you write it off, just imagine it being said in voice of the video here.

It would actually be a pretty cool way to kick off a highly anticipated bout, no?

'...........' (No Words)

This is just me, but I'd like to see a referee roll his eyes, shake his head and slowly make his way to the center of the UFC Octagon.

Then, as he stands there with an irritable look on his face, he could ask the fighters if they are 'fiiiiiiiiinally ready.' When he is given an affirmative response, he just kind of gives a slovenly hand signal that looks something like the start sign, turns his back and walks off in a huff to the nearest corner.

Why would I like to see this? Because, it would be pretty damn funny. Think about.

Also, a ref who started a bout this way should continually check his watch throughout. Additionally, rather than jumping in to save an unconscious fighter, this theoretical ref would stroll over to the action and lazily try to push the de facto victor off his victim with the heel of his shoe.

'I Won't Stop the Action No Matter What. Go!'

Though most MMA referees are fairly big guys, I'm sure being locked in a cage with fighters like Alistair Overeem and Junior Dos Santos must still be a little scary. 

So consider this phrase to be the referee's counter-intimidation tactic. No matter what happens, the fight will not be stopped.

Knocked out? Keep going. Corner threw in the towel? Keep going? Choked out? Keep going!

Of course, I wouldn't actually like to see that kind of fight. I'd just like to see the looks on the faces of the fighters and the snicker of the ref.

That would make me giggle.

No Words. Just the Humming Tune of 'Eye of the Tiger.'

Eye of the Tiger is one of the best-known fight songs to have ever been recorded. Surely it would not be out of place at an MMA match, even if it were intended for boxing use.

Can't you just see Kim Winslow head-banging and air-guitaring her way through the song as she signals for the fighters to begin?

Personally, I wouldn't be opposed to the referee continuing to hum, and even sing the tune, as the fight goes on. But at least a minimum of 'Do, do do do, do do do, do do doooo.......Do, do do do, do do do, do do dooo' should be mandatory for any main card fight.

'On Your Marks. Get Set. Go!'

First off, this is hardly worse than some of the actual alternatives in practice. 

Secondly, starting a bout with this opening line would almost certainly encourage a fast-paced battle not lacking one bit for action.

You see, it's like a psychological trick of sorts. The referee makes the fighters think they are in some kind of a race so they'll put on a sprinter's pace.

Thirdly, thieving cliches from other sports could become a new MMA tool, used for climbing into the mainstream conscious of sports fans around the globe. You don't know whether it'll work unless you try it, right?