Joe Lunardi: “The Delicate Genius”

I’ll tell you what, America.  It’s a good thing we are blessed with the presence of ESPN’s Joe Lunardi.  If not, how on Earth would we ever know which teams were good enough to earn a bid to the NCAA Tournament?

It’s just too difficult for us—we can’t figure out how he does it!

How does he know who the one seeds will be? That can’t be easy to determine.  I mean, it’s beyond my comprehension how he can crunch the numbers and research into the wee hours of the night to determine who gets those top seeds.  Man—he is such a wizard!

If only our kids could grow up to be as smart and clairvoyant as Joe Lunardi. This world would surely be a better place. 

Last season, my buddy Jeff Allen correctly predicted all but one team, and had almost all the seeds correct.  He doesn’t do this for a living and he did it in about fifteen minutes. 

Look, I’m envious of Lunardi, I’ll admit it. 

He has the easiest and arguably the best job in the world.  He gets paid to sit on his fat ass and watch college basketball.  We should all be so lucky.

ESPN is overblowing the sh*t out of this whole “Bracketology” deal, however.  I mean, come on—it's as if it takes a combination of molecular physics and brain surgery to figure out how the committee chooses the teams. 

It’s the same sh*t every season. All you have to do is watch games, look at records, look at schedules, look at the last couple months' games, and of course—take a peek at the imperial crown jewel, the RPI. 

“Yeah Jux, but he updates it every single day now!” 

Yeah that must be real tough to do.  Hmm let’s see: “bubble teams,” this team lost and that team won, so now the team who won is “in” and the team who lost is “out.”

I, for one, feel overwhelmed with gratefulness for Joe Lunardi. Forget Obama and Hillary—Lunardi should run for president!  After all, he is a wizard.  And, he can tell the future!

Tonight, before you go to bed, when you list what you’re most thankful for, don’t forget to spend some time on Joe Lunardi and Bracketology. With these two blessings, our lives are finally complete!