MMA: Grandma Dee Awards

Because of my age and the fact that I never know how long to expect to be around, I have decided to give out my awards in the field of MMA tonight as I watch the Oscar Awards.

Because I am old, confused at times and often informed by readers that I have reached senility, there is no time frame for these awards other than that there are some things about the sport that even I can remember.

So for my first award of lifetime achievement (that being my lifetime of course), the first MMA fighter to really impress me and my family and make the longest lasting impression: Royce Gracie.

Even a fool would understand why I picked Royce, although my son reminded me to say "this is for all the submissions he has shown to the world."

Best newcomer award to Junior Dos Santos. I really like his style and the way he has caused a big commotion on the Heavyweight scene.

Rashad Evans would be my choice for the best and most unexpected knockout in my recollection, (for the fight with Chuck Liddell, although Sean Salmon keeps popping up in this category too).

It should come as no surprise that Georges St-Pierre gets my nod for the best fighter,  as well as for the fighter who shows the most grace under pressure award.

The best English as a second language award goes to Anderson Silva for keeping the fact that he can and does speak English a secret for so long. He is another classy guy and from seeing Georges' experience with the snotty MMA fighters who make fun of fighters who have English as a second language, I can see why he remained in the closet for so long.

Joe Stevenson gets my award to the biggest donor to blood craving BJ Penn award. I am always in awe of those who donate blood, except I wish it had gone to a worthier cause. Love you Joe Daddy!

Comeback at a lesser weight award is Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez, my grandson's favorite fighter, who looks to be in for a very promising career at that weight.

Fighter with the most huge hands ever stuffed into an mma glove: Brock "hubcap-hands" Lesnar.

Most exciting comeback: Frank Mir, who will have a chance at the ham-fisted Lesnar later this year in the battle of the Titans.

Mike Brown of WEC fame for most unexpected upset of the year in unseating Uriah Faber at his own game—very impressive win Mike, the belt looks great on you!

Fighter who was robbed and almost as blinded as his opponent claimed to be: Donald (my favorite) "Cowboy" Cerone—jump back on that critter and ride him out next time!

Scariest nice-guy fighter: Keith the "Dean of Mean" Jardine, my FaceBook friend.

Married fighter with the brightest looking future: Nate Marquardt, truly a "Great" guy, good husband, father and Christian.

Joe Stevenson: sweetest little boy faced fighter. If I had to run into any of these guys late at night in a dark alley I would hope it would be Joe.

Quentin "Rampage" Jackson: the fighter I would most like to invite to a big fried chicken dinner with my whole family; he could bring his ornery kids too 'cause mine would be there.

Fighter my guys would most like to work putting hay up with: Matt Hughes; both of our farms are in Illinois so this would be doable.

Clay Guida: the best sport award for thrilling the kids at the Illinois State Wrestling Championships held February 20 and 21 in Champaign Illinois. He would be my choice for the fighter showing the best sportsmanship and highest level of energy as well.

Since I have gotten so many fan letters from young women who say they are intent on marrying Georges "in no Rush to marry" St-Pierre, I would have to award him the hottest and most eligible bachelor award. Perhaps in addition,the fleetest of foot in avoiding same young women award (if you do want a list though, Georges, I am keeping one).

The last award is to new father BJ Penn who must have had an epiphany inspiring the biggest scandal and worse excuse for losing "the fight to the death" with Georges St-Pierre while applying baby oil to precious daughter Ava (yes BJ, I am sure it made her slippery, but I doubt that you dropped her the way Georges dropped you).

Unfortunately, being that I am retired and living on disability, there is no monetary award or trophy of note. I guess I could award some nice Grannie Smith apples from Tanner's Orchards when they are in season if I am still around at that time this year.

Otherwise my grandchildren will have to be pressed into service to draw pictures and make the awards.

At any rate I wish the award winners well and hope they all live long happy lives with as many good memories of the sport of MMA as I have.

Thanks for the mamories fellows!

And yes, Gina, along with Jen Aniano, you are my favorite female fighters.