BCS 2010 Championship Odds And Rant: Have a Hunch Bet a Bunch

Now be the time to jump on the early NCAA action. Pave your teams path to the National Title with gold.

Who has the easiest route? The SEC is brutal and the Florida Gators odds are  almost chalk so chuck them out. Never bet the chalk. Throw out the Oklahoma Sooners and USC Trojans also. We want a live long shot. But then again, who doesn't?"

What about the Alabama Crimson Tide? Two Ben Franklin's gets ye three, lovely weeks in the Caribbean to play pirate. 200 hundred bucks will get ye 5400, and a lovely lobster and lucky lounge chair complete with rum holder.

Doesn't that get Bob Marley singing in ye head? A chance to play old Port Royal Pirate and grin like Captain Henry Morgan sipping rum and sending his past pirate pals to the roasting gallows of smouldering Jamaica?

Roll tide, roll. Let the Tide Roll ye all the way to the warm green sparkling sea. For a month, maybe in Belize or Aruba. Hell ye might even see some of your bailout bucks being spent by a banker at a resort next door. Don't try to bust in though Bubba those grim eyed Blackwater Mercs are paid well to guard those conferences and they may be SEC football fans but they do not find ye Tebow talk all that amusing.

Hey Bubba, football is a better bet then the stock market these bad days as 401Ks fade away and busted, grumbling Gramps is rolled out of retirement to work Wal Mart in his wheel chair. Beware the snarling, mean old bugger bites the fat children who wonder in  Wal Mart, especially the chunky chattering ones on an aimless candy quest that complain and run wild in the aisles. Gramps is just from a different era and he's mad as hell and, like  Network's Howard Beale, isn't gonna take it anymore.

Times are brutal why not use your football expertise to ease the strain? Plug the pain and ride Rutgers to the promised land or at least to Tahiti. Find a beach spot with Fletcher Christians old mutineers and watch the old sun set. Those old boys won a bet with Bligh long ago so toast them and the setting sun.

Swing by Hawaii, roll the uneasy fragments of Captain Cook's cooked old bones and  scout out the remnants of the extinct WAC conference. Insider knowledge doesn't just work in Washington or Wall Street it works well in Vegas too.

Do ye bang the Big Ten drum? The Penn State Nittany Lions are a whooping +4700. Who cares about those undersized DE's that jumped too early to the NFL. Crafty Joe Paterno has a cake schedule and a plethora of home games. If the old Pigskin Conjurer avoids road traps all he has to do is trip the Ohio State Buckeyes and he should be BCS bound.

Sounds as easy as Paris Hilton after a quart of Grey Goose on a Saturday night.

If the Nits make the Big Game ye can work the magic of the bet back. Bet a portion of your possible profits on the other team and guarantee a sure return. Doesn't that sound better then those snake eyed, gold greedy, rabid, turd weasels on the television telling ye to turn ye old Gold into hot Cash.

No not Congress, I mean the infomercial, evil possum faced, feral freaks, foaming for ye to send them Grandma's gold teeth and your Momma's wedding band so they can melt it down and roll around in it. Watch them giggling and grinning, darkly dancing in their crumbling castles, howling madly under the full midnight screaming moon. All they want is ye gold!

Cash for gold they hiss. Cash for gold they smile, it so precious gold is. We love our gold they snivel as they slither about trying to hide their twitching tails and tiny toupee busting horns.

If whiskey soaked Uncle Ed falls over in the kitchen have a rusty pliers handy to pry the gold from his yellow teeth. So what if Old Ed still be kicking a bit, better his kin get the gold then some grinning ghoul of a stock market fleeced Doctor or the demented, drunken bone-yard digger.

No Cash for Gold! If Granny's asleep she won't even feel it nor miss those glittering gold fillings, just a quick pull! And CASH FOR GOLD! And we'll even send ye a beautiful postage paid envelope, Bubba, a big one with free insurance but call first for a free over the phone evaluation. That's right Rube, Free!

No skip those bilious savage beasts and make a nice, safe, civil football bet. No need to turn into the Mad Trapper of Rat River, Old Albert Johnson.....yet.

The West Virginia Mountaineers plus 5000? An easy Big East Run and a big Bowl birth? Easy money maybe? Rub the rabbits foot, rube, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.

At least betting on the Mountaineers is fun! What other institute of higher learning has a moon shine swilling, mad eyed mountain man in furs stumbling around and discharging a loaded weapon during every big Mountaineer play?  Bet the Eer's and do that every week at home or in your favorite sports bar and folks will love ye! Throw in some John Denver Country Roads at opportune moments and folks will start to sing songs about you!

Its better then giving it to the vile greedy eyed, gold guys, and its one bet ye get to enjoy all season long. Unless of course someone like the mighty Maine Black Bears upsets your hot pick the first week of the season.

Or the vicious Akron Zips zap old Joe, the Sopranos Uncle Junior of the NCAA, in Happy Valley making him scream madly and brutally beat his poor red headed assistant coach.

Here are the odds and these days a football bet isn't such a bad bet anymore. Just don't bet that gold in your teeth. Ye might desperately need it if times turn more dire.

Take no prisoners tiger. Home is over them hills boys, give 'em the cold steel!

Remember, though, buy the ticket take the ride.

And hope that ticket takes ye somewhere with warm waters, brown eyed beauties, and ice cold beach drinks.

Ignore the rant I'm coaching Mickey Rourke on his Randy The Ram Oscar acceptance speech. an longing for a beach in the icy cold Appalachian hills!

Cheers and Happy Hunting!

ODDS TO WIN THE 2009/2010 BCS CHAMPIONSHIP
Sat 2/28  10:00PM (EST)

7001   ALABAMA          +2700  
7002   ARIZONA STATE          +15000  
7003   ARKANSAS          +8000  
7004   AUBURN          +12500  
7005   BOSTON COLLEGE          +12500  
7006   CALIFORNIA          +6600  
7007   CINCINNATI          +8000  
7008   CLEMSON          +3500  
7009   COLORADO          +8000  
7010   FLORIDA          +175  
7011   FLORIDA STATE          +1800  
7012   GEORGIA          +5000  
7013   GEORGIA TECH          +5000  
7014   ILLINOIS          +6000  
7015   IOWA          +6000  
7016   KANSAS          +6000  
7017   KANSAS STATE          +17500  
7018   KENTUCKY          +12500  
7019   LOUISVILLE          +15000  
7020   LSU          +1800  
7021   MIAMI FLORIDA          +2000  
7022   MICHIGAN          +8000  
7023   MICHIGAN STATE          +8000  
7024   MISSOURI          +8000  
7025   NEBRASKA          +3500  
7026   NOTRE DAME          +2000  
7027   OHIO STATE          +1000  
7028   OKLAHOMA          +450  
7029   OKLAHOMA STATE          +5000  
7030   OREGON          +5000  
7031   PENN STATE          +4750  
7032   RUTGERS          +8000  
7033   SOUTH CAROLINA          +8000  
7034   SOUTH FLORIDA          +4000  
7035   SOUTHERN CAL          +800  
7036   TENNESSEE          +6600  
7037   TEXAS          +750  
7038   TEXAS A&M          +15000  
7039   TEXAS TECH          +6000  
7040   UCLA          +7500  
7041   VIRGINIA TECH          +1500  
7042   WAKE FOREST          +8000  
7043   NORTH CAROLINA          +3000  
7044   WEST VIRGINIA          +5000  
7045   WISCONSIN          +5000  
7046   FIELD          +1500  

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. - Ambrose Bierce

"Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico—ah, that is euthanasia!"

Bierce on vacationing. Juarez hasn't changed much, eh?