Lane Kiffin: It's Just Another Day and Another Foot-in-Mouth Story for Tennessee

Well, in just a few short months we haven't learned what kind of head coach Lane Kiffin will be in college football. What we do know is that he was a joke as an NFL head coach and an imbecile as the "front man" for Tennessee football so far. Now we can add bald-faced liar to that growing résumé of shame.

In an article with Sports Illustrated—wait, let's stop here for a minute. I'm beginning to think the powers that be in Knoxville are as stupid as Kiffin. Isn't it every time he gets in front of a microphone or every time he says something publicly that he embarrasses the school? So why, for God's sake why, did they allow this idiot to speak to Sports Illustrated?

Anyway, he tells SI that he was coming back to Knoxville from the birth of his son (apparently he didn't think Tennessee was a good enough place for his son to be born in), and the driver he had from the university to pick him up dared to be 25 minutes late. He missed Judge Judy that afternoon, and for no good reason!

Of all the nerve! Little Lord Fauntleroy had to wait 25 minutes! So he tells SI, and I quote, "I came back and within five minutes I'd fired the guy who was in charge of the guy who'd been sent to pick me up." He then continued, "Here's the point: We need to win. That's 25 minutes that Nick Saban and Urban Meyer had that I lost because somebody was late picking me up at the airport."

Well, UT officials hear this and now confirm that Kiffin's just a liar who wants to look like a big shot to the SI reporter in this display of power over the job of some university minion. Seems they better "clarify" this for the press before it gets out of hand.

UT Athletic Director Mike Hamilton said Thursday afternoon, "He has not fired anybody. If he said he has fired somebody, that's not true. I don't know if he said it from a standpoint of making a point that 'We've got to get this right.' But he didn't fire anybody." He continued, "You can't just fire anybody at Tennessee, particularly when you're talking about non-contract employees. There's a process."

So here is the UT athletic director publicly calling the new UT coach a bald-faced liar.  You Tennessee fans can spin this any way you want, but that's just how it is.  Apparently Lane knows as much about employee hiring and firing as he does about NCAA violation rules.

And as for his asinine statement that this was "25 minutes that Nick Saban and Urban Meyer had that I lost," sonny boy, you could take next month off and it wouldn't matter. They'll get whoever they want and there's nothing can you do about it. And Nick Saban wouldn't have wasted 25 minutes plotting revenge on some poor $9-an-hour state employee, he would have been texting recruits and calling others.

Just hours, not even days, after another asinine statement that Nick Saban wouldn't get another one of "our guys" (from Tennessee), Saban announced his first 2010 commitment—a player from Tennessee. I think he did it on purpose, just to rub salt in the wound of this latest class. He also did it to show this group of misfits now coaching at Tennessee just how stupid they all look standing there yelling idiotic things into a microphone.

The funny part about the whole story is that it's now not Tennessee-haters calling Kiffin a fool and, now, a liar. It's his own boss. Even people who generally dislike Tennessee are beginning to feel kind of bad that almost every day brings another "Guess what Kiffin did today" story. One was funny, two was comical, three was ironic, four was dumb, and now it's just overkill.

If there was a mercy rule for preseason blunders, stupidity, lies, and gaffs, the refs would have already blown the whistle on Kiffin and ejected him.

Writers are now having a field day with Little Kiffipoo. He is single handedly giving them so much to report during such a generally slow time that he is quickly becoming quite the media darling. 

If you had to drink a bottle of tequila for every day Kiffin has had a gaff, you wouldn't have been sober since his hiring. It's like a drinking game gone horribly bad. I wonder when Tennessee will tire of it altogether? It can't be too soon.