Gamecock That Took Picture of Phelps Should Be Hung By His Grundle

Legendary American swimmer Michael Phelps stated Wednesday to The Baltimore Sun that he can not commit to competing in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. The announcement comes in the wake of British tabloid photos that apparently capture Phelps blazing cannabis from a bong during a party last November at the University of South Carolina.

"This is a decision of mine that I'm not going to make it today and I'm not going to make tomorrow," said Phelps, who won a record eight gold medals last summer at the Beijing Olympics.

“It's going to require a lot of time and energy and a lot of thinking for myself - but also talking to [my coach Bob Bowman] and talking to my family and just deciding what I want to do," he said.

Phelps, who was diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in his youth and qualified for the 2000 Summer Olympics at the age of 15, seemed genuinely contrite and saddened by his most recent public embarrassment.

"This was stupid, and I know this won't happen again," the former Michigan Wolverine assured. "It's obviously bad judgment, and it's something I'm not proud of at all. I will say that with the mistakes that I've made in my life, I've learned from them. Every one of them. And I've become a better person. That's what I plan to do from here."  

“The Baltimore Bullet” said he is particularly disappointed that he again let down his fans and his mother, Debbie, nearly five-years after a drunken-driving arrest in 2004.

"Seeing my mom reminded me of how it was the day after I got my DUI, and I swore to myself I'd never do that again," he told The Sun. "This is just a stupid thing of mine that I did, and I have to live with it."

Leon Lott, a South Carolina Sheriff, declared that he will press charges against Phelps if he can prove the swimmer inhaled THC in his jurisdiction.

Marijuana possession is considered a misdemeanor in Richland County and is punishable by up to 30 days in the pen.

Phelps, who would ranked fourth overall in the gold medal count last summer in China, has not admitted that he got stoned in the “Palmetto State.”  However, he has also not denied the authenticity of the photo.

One can easily predict that Phelps never assumed the Lewinsky position to get his paws on some greens and it is a disgrace that some overzealous, redneck of a sheriff would even contemplate indicting the icon to fulfill his desire to become a quasi celebrity.

Reefer is virtually decriminalized in many sections of our country; it is not a debilitating drug and it certainly does not enhance an athlete’s performance. In this era of nefarious cheaters in athletics, Phelps is a wonderful anomaly and he should be embraced and not vilified because of his iconic status.

In response to questions by the paparazzi if his feats were “too good to be true,” Phelps noted that he had signed up for Project Believe, a project by the United States Anti-Doping Agency in which U.S. Olympians can volunteer to be tested in excess of the standard World Anti-Doping Agency guidelines.

During the 2008 games, Phelps was tested nine times for performance enhancing drugs and he passed all of them.

Phelps is not a disgrace. Lott and the yellow coward who took the photo of Phelps and sold it are the disgraces of this non-story. Lott should immediately be placed on foot patrol for his attention-whoring and the camera-loving Gamecock should be hung by his grundle.

Phelps is too upstanding and classy to distort the truth simply to save his own derriere.

Perhaps Phelps should take a cue from Tony Montana. As Scarface famously uttered, “I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.”

If you have to, Michael, say you were smoking tobacco. That’s what water pipes are intended to be sold for anyways.