The Morning Tailgate: Feb. 12

Dear Brett,

You’re the best. God I freaking love you. I just want to touch you, because you’re a ruggedly handsome SOB. I wish you would have played every one of your consecutive starts in Wrangler jeans.

I know it’s a running joke in Internet-Land that all media members love you, but I feel like what we had slipped under the radar. Chris Berman, John Madden, and Peter King all love you and you love them—it’s a fact.

That’s why it became a joke. But you and I...we share a common bond. We are—Brett Favre.

And so Brett—my dear boyfriend—I say to you that I want to take pictures of you while you wear A-Rod’s blue sweater. I want you to tell Sean Salisbury that he’s not even deserving of your time.

I want you to tell James Brown that he made a huge mistake when he turned his back on me and fled for CBS. I want you, Brett Favre, to tell me what you and I have known forever.

Let me know how I can help you get over this actual retirement. I really believe you’re done this time because I know it in my heart. My heart told me. My heart told me that you are my eternal partner in Canton.

That may seem odd since our Hall of Fame induction years are quite different. That said, I want you to know that you will forever be the recipient of my first brat.

You can have my sausage any time!

Your's truly,

Terry Bradshaw

Feburary 12

Team Canada beats Denmark 47-0 in hockey. In a related story, Team Canada’s version of "Towel Guy" tore both rotator cuffs during the game.

Chet Lemon is born and immediately upon reaching the Major Leagues, becomes the best baseball player in history named “Chet”.

Scott Pollard is born. Pollard was later credited with one of the first duel ponytailed goatees in the sport.

Wayne Gretzky scores 153rd point of season, tying the current NHL record. It was pretty amazing considering it was the middle of February, and there was still two months left in the season.

It’s been a long time since America has checked in with old friend Pedro Gomez. Now that he’s gleefully off the Barry Bonds beat, Gomez is spending his time covering other events…and holding voodoo dolls at soccer games.

We’re not sure if it's part of the story that Gomez’s hair looks exactly like the voodoo dolls or not.

…after hearing the story that Roberto Alomar might have AIDS?

"Our second baseman was the cut off man—for a full blown error.

YEEEEOOOWWWW!

While America was waiting for Duke-UNC this week, a different major rivalry in college sports added another chapter to their 100+ year history. Josh Bacott will administer a photo Pop Quiz to see if you were paying attention to Mizzou-Kansas.