What Is "Anger Management?"

"Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way... that is not easy."
-- Aristotle

Now that Sean Avery has graduated from the NHL/NHLPA's behaviour modification program, people are wondering "What IS anger management?"

Anger Management is a 2003 comedy film which starred Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Retired tennis player John McEnroe makes a cameo appearance in the movie; McEnroe was known for having anger problems during his tennis career.

Nicholson played the part of Dr. Buddy Rydell, an anger management expert, and Adam Sandler played the part of Dave Buznik. McEnroe appeared as himself.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards.

Dave Buznik: How 'bout fiddle-faddels?

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Under my supervision.

In an anger management course, you learn that anger is natural, but it can be destructive when expressed inappropriately.  You are taught how to  gauge your anger level and identify your unhealthy expressions of anger.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'm going to need you to retard your anger.

Dave Buznik: It's retarded. I'm retarded.

Do you slam down the phone when faced you hear computerized voice prompts? Have you gotten into a shouting match with a stranger over a parking space? Ever put your fist through the wall after an argument?

You might need Anger Management. Instead of expressing your anger in a healthy and assertive way, you may be expressing it in a hostile, aggressive manner — a manner that could lead to violence and a slew of personal and professional consequences.

The term Anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state.

The goal is not to eliminate the anger, but to express it in a controlled way.

People with important roles in developing this technique were Howard Kassinove, Chip Tafrate, Ph.D., L. Dundin, Brad Buchman, Micheal Hoyt, Ph.D.

Anger management got a satirical treatment in the novel called A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess, which was turned into a movie of the same name by Stanley Kubrick.

The book and the movie show an experimental procedure called the Ludovico technique, an experimental aversion therapy. It turns a psychopathic delinquent named Alex DeLarge into someone who gets sick, literally, at the sight of violence.

The use of meditation can be used as a means of relaxation. A common skill used in most anger management programs is learning assertive communication techniques, expressing feelings without offending others, typically started with the use of “I” statements followed by a need statement.

Here's a pertinent example: “I feel upset when you don't take my feelings into consideration when you talk about your past relationships. I hope you can be more thoughtful and know what you should and should not say the next time.”

Buddhists recommend a different approach. They believe that there are several antidotes for handling anger, including patience, understanding karma, equanimity and realization of emptiness (the sum of which can be achieved through daily meditation).

The main issue of anger management, according to Buddhists, is that anger is regarded as an incorrect projection of the mind, so wisdom and insight can ultimately correct the mind and eliminate anger completely.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: He was wondering how a man weighing 600 pounds could teach people about self-discipline.

Picture: Sean Avery, or Alex DeLarge, sitting in Zen meditation, speaking calmly and using "I statements" .....

Dave Buznik: [singing] I feel pretty / oh, so pretty / oh, so pretty and witty and...