WWE: Writing the Big Summer Angles for the Creative Staff

WWE creative is reportedly under pressure to write a “big summer angle” to drive lagging ratings. Examples of this are the Nexus, the failed “Who Killed Mr. McMahon?” or even as far back as Austin vs. McMahon. Ratings generally slump during the summer months, as people have other things to do and there is a letdown after WrestleMania. 

Often, friends and I will sit around and throw out ideas for storylines and we laugh arrogantly and think “why can’t we just do this for a living,” or “this is SO much better than anything the creative staff comes up with.” 

So here’s the test. Below are as many ideas for a “big summer angle” that I will come up with and write up in the next 15 minutes. They won’t be fully developed, but a good strand of something they could do to get started.

3…2…1…

1. I’ll call this one “Heyman’s Guys.” Now that Paul Heyman and WWE seem to at least be on somewhat the same page, it’s time to exploit the most charismatic talked about guy the company employs to drive ratings. Heyman is innately controversial and will bring about attention of older fans while giving the new fans something to get excited about.

First, at the 1,000th episode of Raw, Heyman comes out after McMahon’s job evaluation of Laurinaitis to confront Vince about the behavior of both Big Johnny and Triple H. He says they’ve mistreated his client, Brock Lesnar, and his lawyer's legal team has yet to hear back from WWE.

Vince won’t back down, only for Lesnar to hit the ring and F-5 Vince. He then slaps on the Kimura and breaks Vince’s arm. Attacking Triple H was one thing; now, he’s taken out the owner of the company.

CM Punk confronts Heyman and says he used to be a “Heyman Guy,” but with his actions lately, he can’t support him in good conscience. Heyman cuts a deal with Triple H that Lesnar will come back and honor his contact if he gets a shot at WWE Champion CM Punk. If he wins, he is champ and he gets everything Johnny agreed to. If he loses, he will walk away with nothing. Vince and Triple H are skeptical, as it was just a year ago they wanted to get rid of Punk and now are relying on him as the flag-bearer of the company. Intrigue.

2. “Psycho” Dean Ambrose is my name of this one. I’ve always found it remarkable that the WWE hasn’t created a character based on Heath Ledger’s presentation of The Joker. Not the TNA version with Sting that focused on funny voices and whacky makeup. I’m talking about the chilling monologue from Michael Caine about how some people “just want to watch the world burn.”

The one person that I can think of who would play this character to perfection is Dean Ambrose.

Mayhem begins to occur backstage. Not usual mayhem, like people being laid out, but instead, walls are spray-painted and rooms turned inside out and raided. Someone gets sick because the coffee has been tampered with. A cryptic promo airs about how everything before this was just high school level hijinks. Next week, the real fun begins.

We go the entire show, and we are waiting for what’s going to happen. Cole and King tease it throughout. The wrestlers are hesitant. Then, with 10 minutes left in the show, while John Cena is cutting a promo, the PA announcers cuts off Cena’s mic and announces that the building must be evacuated. All personnel, wrestlers and fans alike must get out of the building. Cameras go shaky, sticking with the action as Josh Mathews takes over announcing like a street reporter in a warzone. They get outside, and BOOM, the production van explodes, bursting into flames as the feed for the show goes black.

Footage of what happened and all of the reactions of fans and wrestlers goes up on the website. The next week, Dean Ambrose takes responsibility for the attacks. He doesn’t want the belt. He doesn’t want to sell shirts. He just wants to watch the world burn.

3. “Cena breaks down." Yes, I’m going to turn John Cena’s divorce into a storyline. We start to see Cena break down a bit. He’s upset backstage. He’s running late to shows. He’s scattered and can’t pay attention. Finally, he’s out cutting a generic promo one night after he loses a PPV match to, let’s say, Big Show at Money in the Bank, and he starts to break down. He can’t form his sentences and is stumbling.

Then, in the middle of the promo, Dolph Ziggler interrupts him then comes down to the ring and offers Cena some help. He says that he’s been able to see him struggle for the last year. He recaps all the way back to losing to the Rock, then getting beaten to a pulp to Lesnar. Then, he discusses getting pinned by Laurinaitis and now, Big Show.

Ziggler says he knows that Cena has been through a lot this year, but what he hasn’t acknowledged is the biggest loss of the year hasn’t been in the ring. It’s that his marriage has fallen apart. Cena is incensed and tells him not to bring anything personal into this. Ziggler slows him down so that he knows that you can’t separate business from life, especially in this industry that is indeed so personal.

Ziggler then drops the bomb that he knows the reason his wife left him was because he was caught messing around with Eve. The crowd boos, and Cena looks ready to pop. Ziggler asks whether or not his wife knows that she’s not the first Diva Cena had given a little “five knuckle shuffle,” and Cena comes after him.

Dolph ducks and hits the ZigZag, knocking Cena flat on his back. Ziggler grabs the mic and says “John, what you didn’t know, is that while you were busy chasing Divas, your wife was ‘Showing Off’ some herself.” He ends it with a Woooo and a little dance over Cena.

Ziggler is immediately elevated. Cena becomes a more human character that suddenly has his “loyalty” and “respect” questioned. It’s a very real storyline based in human emotions and emotional breakdowns over relationships. 

OK, so maybe that was 20 minutes, but I had to wrap up the last few pieces to storyline No. 3. Please, creative staff. Do something interesting.