Chicago Cubs: 5 Reasons Why Life as Worst Team Is Not so Bad

At the time of this writing, the Chicago Cubs were tied with the Minnesota Twins as MLB's worst team. But having finally broken a long and arduous losing streak that tested even the most die-hard fans, I think we already know they are bad. But I'm here to tell you, in a humorous way, why the losing is not the end of the world.

In fact, from a pure baseball standpoint, it's fine. When we signed on to the Theo Epstein plan, we agreed to this. The Cubs are in a rebuilding process that will take several years. Unless they get impatient, following their plan means the Cubs won't contend until at least 2015.

The only way they would deviate from this plan would be if Cubs fans stopped going to Wrigley Field. From my experience, that's not likely to happen, although young Cubs fans may be surprised to learn that there was a time when Wrigley Field was rather empty, prompting the infamous Lee Elia tirade.

But us Cubs fans must have a sense of humor, or we would go crazy following a baseball team like this. So check out this tongue-in-cheek slideshow and leave your comments. And hey, I never claimed to be Rodney Dangerfield, but the Cubs sure get no respect! 

You Can Save Money

Look, since you know the Cubs are going to lose every game, you don't need to check your phone, iPad or any other device to get the score. Who cares what the score is?

In fact, you can predict it if you try. The Cubs offense will produce very few runs and the bullpen will stink. That pretty much sums it up. Oh, and the Cubs are going to lose.

Sure, there will be the occasional win, but it won't really matter.

Plus, by not going to the park, you can save the money on a ticket and drink your beer at home, where it won't cost you a first-born male child.

You Can Boast That "We Are Number One!"

Yes, that's right, it is not a misprint. The Cubs are No. 1—No. 1 at losing! Maybe that's not quite what you want as Cubs fans, but, let's admit it, you are used to it anyway.

For when the Cubs lose, they do so in historic proportions. They don't just stink, they lose 12 games in a row.

And they don't just miss the World Series—they go 67 years without attending one. And they don't just fail to win a championship, they go longer than any professional team in the history of the sporting world without winning one.

That's pretty darn impressive, my friends. You would think that even by accident they would have won by now. But not our Cubbies. They are really good at losing.

No Expectations to Weigh You Down

Hey, doctors say stress is a killer. So by not caring who wins, you can relax, sit back and enjoy the game without the stress of worrying about that inevitable ninth-inning meltdown by Rafael Dolis or Carlos Marmol.

You know your team is going to lose, so if you go to the game you can drink beer, check out the girls and quit wasting time looking at the scoreboard.

You have better things to do. And remember, the life you save may be your own.

Da Bears!!

I have two words to help calm you, my friends: DA BEARS! Yes, it may not even be June yet, but you can talk Bears until you turn blue and orange in the face with the Cubs playing so poorly.

The Bears look to be a team to be reckoned with in 2012. They went out and acquired an incredibly talented wide receiver in Brandon Marshall.

Keep in mind they were 7-3 and the offense was averaging 27 points per game on a five-game winning streak when Jay Cutler got hurt last season, so there is no reason not to expect a winner this year.

You Don't Have to Hear "Go Cubs Go" as Often

To me, that's a good thing. That song, while fun to sing when you're at the game following a victory, stinks. I mean, it's almost as bad as the stupid seventh inning stretch, which ran its course a long time ago.

Hey Chicago, what do you say? We won't have to hear that song today.