Brock Lesnar's Chest Sword & 10 of the Worst Tattoos in WWE History
The hype of Brock Lesnar's return this year saw WWE fans go into a frenzy. Suddenly, one of the more dominating forces in WWE history would return and take on John Cena. Not only was this the Lesnar that ran roughshot through WWE in 2002, but this was a Lesnar with his WWE accomplishments past him, as well as success as a former UFC champion in the heavyweight division.
However, there was a different look to Lesnar at Extreme Rules. Not only was he sporting trunks from his MMA, complete with advertisements. Lesnar also had a tattoo on his chest that wasn't there in his WWE. A chest tattoo of a sword had been seen in UFC, as well as Lesnar's likeness in the WWE '12 video game.
For the weeks of seeing Lesnar prior to his first match back, he had continued to wear a shirt, making it simple to forget about that ugly tattoo. Now that Lesnar has returned to WWE, we can officially add Lesnar's phallic symbol to the list of awful decisions in ink art for WWE wrestlers. Here are ten of the worst tattoos in all of WWE.
Undertaker's "Sara" Neck Tattoo
The Undertaker has some pretty cool tattoos all along his arms, which made him very intimidating. Even though the American Bad Ass gimmick still has some scratching their heads, even a decade later, one tattoo of The Undertaker's certainly confused just about every wrestling fan.
That tattoo was of the name "Sara", the first name of The Undertaker's wife at the time. Sara was inserted into a storyline with The Undertaker and Diamond Dallas Page upon his debut in WWE. Sara also accompanied her husband and Kane to the ring on a few occasions. Soon, Sara was no longer on TV and would end up no longer being The Undertaker's wife.
That tattoo brought a level of humanity to The Undertaker that remained even after he went back to being The Deadman. When he began to date Michelle McCool, whom he has since married, the tattoo was removed from his neck.
May The Undertaker's neck tattoo of his ex-wife's name rest in peace.
Santino Marella's Lion Back Tattoo
The current United States Champion has a lot of unusual tattoos, but this one on his back takes the cake. It's a gigantic portrait of a lion's face on the back of the Milan Miracle. The drawing itself is a bit unusual. It's obvious to be a cat of some kind, but unless Santino somehow grows a profuse amount of hair on his shoulders and neck, that lion will never truly look like a lion. That is, at least, it won't look like a male lion.
To break kayfabe for a minute, Marella has been a MMA fighter in the past, which may explain the obnoxious tattoo on the back, a staple seen more and more by MMA fighters and boxers. Still, it really ends up being a weird sight to see for Marella, who had it upon his debut in WWE, where he was portrayed as a fan in the crowd getting a chance to become Intercontinental Champion.
The lion tattoo is interesting and would probably look cooler on other people, but this is Santino Marella we are talking about. The tattoo just doesn't fit the comic relief persona of Santino.
Brie Bella's Unusually Placed Tattoo
I'll admit that Brie Bella's tattoo right around the bikini line is very sexy, but it is also a terrible place for a tattoo. If a tattoo above the butt, known commonly as a "tramp stamp", is looked down upon, what could people possible think about this?
More importantly, wasn't the entire effect of The Bella Twins in WWE to have two identical twins that could not be told apart? Nikki Bella did not get this tattoo as well. It all just makes for an unusual discovery of the tattoo. At first glance, it isn't believed that there is a tattoo there. Instead, fears of unusual effects of personal grooming come to mind. Having a thought like that at all about such a beautiful woman like Brie Bella is blasphemy.
Randy Orton's Skull Sleeve Tattoos
Randy Orton is a great worker and will be a defining superstar for this current generation. However, his sleeve tattoos have always been rather bothersome. Sleeves of tattoos can be cool and the shading is done well that it isn't distracting from the rest of his body. The problem lies with the fact that it was simply done with a bunch of skulls.
Orton has pre-existing tattoos on his shoulders, but had skulls drawn around them. The tattoos don't blend together well and are rather inconsistent with the older tattoos being darker than the skulls. It isn't like the skulls have any significant meaning to Orton either. They are just skulls. It's like seeing a guy get stars on himself. Do the stars mean any symbolism to him? No. They are just stars. These are just skulls.
Batista's Sun Navel Tattoo
Batista has always been rather intense in his WWE career and his tattoos have accompanied that mentality very well. The Animal has some very cool tattoos on both of his arms that grew throughout his WWE career. One, however, is not met with the same intimidating emotion. Batista's tattoo surrounding his navel is a very unusual one. The sun that surrounds the belly button of Batista has been used in past titantrons for Batista, but does not make the ink any cooler.
It's unusual to see any guy with a tattoo around his belly button, but for it to be a sun? What is that about? Is there a story that none of us know? Until a story that likely clears up the reasoning behind the sun tattoo, feel free to make fun of Batista's tattoo. Be sure not to do it around him, though.
Husky Harris's Winged Back Tattoo
Angels wings can be rather good for a tattoo, given that you have the body to support such a tattoo. Husky Harris, who now is in FCW under the name Bray Wyatt, is one of those people who does not support that kind of tattoo well. They are pretty wild looking, but are just too big and given the... well, huskiness... of Harris, it just doesn't look good on him.
The wings are so large that it is almost as if Harris swore that he was actually growing wings in order to fly. Then again, if the wings were smaller on Harris, it would look just as stupid, especially because the smaller wings wouldn't be believable to help the large Harris get around anywhere.
Am I really trying to question the wings on a tattoo and their ability to fly if they existed? This all is feeling more and more like a Monty Python sketch.
Any of Michael Cole's Tattoos
Where do we begin with Michael Cole? There are so many tattoos to talk about. He has an unsettling portrait of someone on his left shoulder blade, something with an angel on his left forearm, some hearts on his left shoulder, as well as tattoos on his right shoulder and right calf that I couldn't begin to explain if you paid me to.
Everything is just so random on Cole and nothing is done by Cole, who has been with WWE for almost 15 years now, to explain these tattoos upon their first arrival to the surface. Who are these people in his tattoos? What do they all mean? Couldn't he have afforded a better tattoo artist to clear up those other tattoos and make it known what they are?
Those are just some of the questions you ask yourself about Michael Cole's tattoos. It's ironic that his tattoos are just as all over the place as his commentary is.
Brock Lesnar's Sword Chest Tattoo
Let's dwell on the chest tattoo of Lesnar's a little bit more. Why did he decide to get this? It begs the question of whether or not Lesnar knew that all of the phallic jokes would be coming (pun not intended) when Lesnar got this awful idea of a tattoo.
Is it Lesnar imagining that this is where someone would hold their sword? It doesn't seem practical or accurate to any time period. It's just there staring at you, making it all but impossible to not look at.
As with many other images in life, you may find yourself staring at this tattoo to try and figure out a hidden meaning behind why it is there. Don't stare at this particular tattoo for too long. It is all but a guarantee that your mind will drift down the road that won't be specifically traveled in this article. Let's just say that it can be theorized that Brock is compensating for something else.
Vance Archer's "Tramp Stamp" Tattoo
Why, Vance Archer? Why? In Archer's stint in WWE, this was all that I could ask myself about the guy. Why did he look so bland? Why did his name feel like something out of the movie Small Soldiers? Why was his finisher so lame? However, one question has stood out among all of those others, even being a question asked to him to this very day.
What in the world is up with that tattoo on your lower back?
We touched before upon how women get lower back tattoos, referred to often as a "tramp stamp". So why on Earth would Archer, a male, be sporting a "tramp stamp"? There's just so much wrong with this image. In fact, the only images I could find of Archer with this tattoo included the butterflies and the flying unicorn. That is how ridiculous this tattoo is to wrestling fans.
Hornswoggle's Muppets Tattoos
This one is just annoying for me personally. Hornswoggle got headlines on such sites as TMZ over getting tattoos of Muppets characters on his body. I question the idea of getting the amount of Muppets-themed tattoos that Hornswoggle got. More importantly, it is unusual given the journey that Hornswoggle has taken since joining WWE.
Originally known as Little Bastard, Hornswoggle hung around Finlay before being believed to be Vince McMahon's illegitimate son. Around this time, Hornswoggle was treated as if he was still a leprechaun and a young one at that, referred to often as simply a boy. Hornswoggle would end up alongside of DX at one point as well, but has spent his WWE career bringing smiles to the faces of fans and embarrassing other superstars in the process.
Up until this past December, Hornswoggle did not even have the ability to talk at all, but could get himself tattoos of children's TV show characters? Is he supposed to be a little kid or not? Stop confusing me, WWE.