Kentucky Derby Hats 2012: The Best and Worst of 2012

Matt King@TheRealMattKingFeatured ColumnistMay 6, 2012

Kentucky Derby Hats 2012: The Best and Worst of 2012

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    The Kentucky Derby isn't just a horse race. It's a place for people to get together, have a big party, drink a lot of mint juleps and wear ridiculous hats. And, really, isn't that the best kind of party?

    This year, the hats were as wild and crazy as ever, with some really good ones thrown in there as well.

    Take a look at some of the best and worst Kentucky Derby hats that 2012's race had to offer.


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    Look ladies, the truth of the matter is that simpler is better. I don't care what the Real Housewives of Louisville have been telling you.

    The big black hat with the white on the top is classic, sleek and won't get mistaken by any birds for a mate.


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    Can we put an end to this right now? A hat that sits on one half of your head is not a hat.

    The main reason for hats is to keep the sun out of your eyes. What do you do when the sun is hitting the part of your face that's not protected by the hat? Do you turn? That seems tiring.


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    Sometimes, bigger can be better.

    This hat is pretty monstrous, but I like the bow and the color scheme. Plus, I don't know, it looks like it's kinda of comfortable, actually.


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    I actually like the flowers on top, but I hate the mesh layering with the neon green for the rest of the hat. It's got to just flop around at the slightest breeze. And how is that even doing anything?


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    Now, aside from the fact that his hat was so massive that it's covering up the entire top half of the person's face, it's a great look.

    Those are real flowers, in case anybody was wondering, which is classic as it is expensive. Plus, pink is always in at the Derby.


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    Yikes. Remember when I said before that a good hat won't make any birds try to mate with it?

    This hat makes me think of Kevin from Up jumping on top of it.


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    Now this is a pretty hat. Love the purple and the flowers and the shape. Very classy.


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    Booorrrrring. What are you going to, Abe Lincoln's funeral? Did the Mad Hatter die?


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    That's how you do a Kentucky Derby hat, folks.

    Bold color, not too much going on, worn by a pretty girl.

    As opposed to the next one...


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    Okay, fella. First of all, Derby hats are for the ladies. Second of all, what the hell is that on your head besides a misguided cry for attention?

    There's doing it well, overdoing it, way overdoing it, then whatever level you have just invented. I appreciate the effort,


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    I know I've been harping all day on how a hat needs to be a hat in order for me to consider it good, but this is actually pretty cool.

    So it doesn't really serve a purpose. Big deal. It's still pretty baller.


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    "Hey, I've got this pretty cool big, white hat for the Derby. Any ideas what I should do with it?"

    "Oh, just glue a bunch of feathers on the back. Will totally take it up a notch."

    Friends don't let friends take bad Kentucky Derby hat advice.


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    Hey, it was Cindo De Mayo, after all. It wouldn't have been right not to have some hats like this.


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    Too big and floppy. Right after this picture was taken, she ran into a wall because she couldn't see where she was going.