The Hardest Thing About Being Male Trying To Get in a Female Locker Room

Joe Burgett @JoEburGett_WESenior Writer IIIJanuary 28, 2009

The other day, B/R writer Lisa Horne did an article about a female in a male locker room, and I felt her pain. I mean, can you imagine a woman trying to ask questions in a locker room filled with a lot of guys? Simply put, a woman will probably not be able to get the interviews that a male reporter would.

However, I realized that it's tough on guys, too. I mean, we always talk about how a woman can get into a guy's locker room. But, we leave out the guys getting into the girl's locker room.

So, I decided to tell you my chilling experience of trying to get into a female locker room for an interview. It was tough, but remember, I only did it for the story.

The other day, I was trying to get into the ladies' locker room to interview a female competitor. She will remain nameless, because if she knew it was me, I could be in serious trouble.

It was halftime when I went to do the interview. As I was going in, people stopped me saying that I couldn't go in. I said, "Why?..Girls can go into the guys' locker room all the time." They told me it was different, and unless you suddenly became a girl, I was not getting in.

That made me angry but it also made me wonder. Could I become a girl within an hour? Well, I knew the surgeries were painful, took days to get into, and cost too much money. Plus, my insurance does not cover sex-change operations.

So, I had to figure out a way. I went to a friend of mine who was a girl. Ironically, she had a party dress to change into after the game later that night.

Why she was going to change was beyond me, but that was another story for another time. Anyway, I had to figure out a way to get the dress without her knowing and get it back to her before she left.

So, I asked her if she had any hand sanitizer. She said she did but it was in her car. So I asked her if I could use her keys to get in and get the hand sanitizer. I told her I would bring it back along with the keys, after I had gone to the concession stand.

She said it was cool, so I went to the car. There was the dress. I grabbed it and thought to myself, "Hum, I might be even more convincing if I use makeup." So, I did. Realizing that my hair was already sort of long, I felt I only needed to change the style a little to complete my "female transformation."

I went to the restroom in the area with the dress, makeup, and the keys to my friend's car. I changed into the dress and used the mirror to apply the makeup.

Luckily, no guys came in during all of this; I must have been lucky, I guess. And although I will not tell you how freakin' hard it is to get your makeup on right, I'll simply say that I had trouble.

The eye liner was the hardest part, but, anyway, I was off. I arrived with about two minutes left in the game. The female player whom I planning to interview was playing well—her team was ahead by about eight points.

I realized that I had just enough time to get over to the locker room by the end of the game. At this point, all that I was focusing on was getting there and my makeup not running.

I had the keys to my friend's car in my underwear because I had nowhere else to put them. Apparently, dresses do not have pockets—at least not this one. While running to the locker room, I was in pain!

Suddenly, I realized that I still had my shoes (I must have put them on by mistake) on. Using quick thinking, I dropped them off behind a trash can.

I was barefoot, but I made it over to the locker room just in time. The girls were already in, and no one stopped me this time. I was home free and so excited. I was going to finally talk to this female superstar.

I looked and looked around for her. I thought maybe I could get a peek or two while I was there. But, to my shock, all of them had already taken a shower and many of them were already dressed when I arrived.

So nothing great, I guess.  I still couldn't find the female superstar I was going to interview. I kept looking and looking. Finally, I found her. She was dressed also and ready to leave.

I went to ask her the questions that I had prepared. But then, suddenly, as I reached for my questions, I realized I left them in my pants which were in the bathroom across the building.

I couldn't interview her. I know you all feel my pain, right? Well, maybe not. So, there I was—a guy in a girl's locker room—dressed as a female reporter in a party dress and makeup.

I looked like the female joker, if that's possible! Somehow, I changed and returned my friend's dress and things to her car and grabbed the sanitizer. Upon returning to her house, I gave her the keys and sanitizer.

She looked at me and told me that my eyeliner was smeared.

Awkward...

If you somehow liked any of this give it your vote for pick of the day and rate it and please comment, but don't be brutal

Related

    SmackDown Recap, Grades and Reaction

    WWE logo
    WWE

    SmackDown Recap, Grades and Reaction

    Kevin Berge
    via Bleacher Report

    WWE 205 Live Results and Highlights

    WWE logo
    WWE

    WWE 205 Live Results and Highlights

    The Doctor Chris Mueller
    via Bleacher Report

    Roundup: Styles' Contract, Lars Sullivan Update and More

    WWE logo
    WWE

    Roundup: Styles' Contract, Lars Sullivan Update and More

    Mike Chiari
    via Bleacher Report

    Why Omega Doesn't Need WWE Amid AEW Rumors

    WWE logo
    WWE

    Why Omega Doesn't Need WWE Amid AEW Rumors

    The Doctor Chris Mueller
    via Bleacher Report