The Morning Tailgate

Here in lovely St. Louis, the JoeSportsFan.com headquarters has been buried under roughly 8-10 inches of snow. Aside from the tedious act of shoveling out your car from the street and driving on the highway without having any idea whether you’re actually in a lane or not, the snow is a welcome change for a day or so. 

If nothing else, we can dream about the days when school would be canceled and we would dedicate eight hours to hardcore sledding, snowball wars and whatever else we could come up with that involved hurling ourselves into snowdrifts. 

Even despite the fact that the weather has many people throwing in the towel for the day and our heads are clearly elsewhere, we still were able to piece together a Tailgate to keep the masses entertained.  Hurray, us. 

January 28

1922—The American Pro Football Association is renamed the “National Football League” and former players-turned-announcers will never let you forget it.

1974—Kentucky basketball star Tony Delk is born and 18 years later would go on to wear some of the most hideous basketball uniforms in NCAA history.

1986—In the 84th Australian Open, Boris Becker defeats Michael Chang for the title, presumably despite the fact that Michael Chang was wearing Reebok Tennis Pumps.###MORE###

For some reason, society has yet to grasp the utter ridiculousness that is “Super Bowl Media Day.” You know, it’s that one awesome day of the year where media get the chance to talk with and ask questions of NFL players — unlike the other 364 days of the sporting year. [/sarcasm]

In the Headliner’s Ball section below, the chicky is the TV Azteca reporter who “proposed” to Tom Brady last year. This year, TV Azteca stole the show again by putting one of their talents in drag. The mainstream media just couldn’t get enough of those wacky Aztecas!

Shockingly, the Arizona Cardinals did not take a woman off the street and put her in the uniform sporting No. 47 … that’s actually Aaron Francisco.

Thank God for Media Day. We don’t know what we’d do without it.

In their eternal pursuit to create the wackiest of headlines, sometimes those in charge of the big letters take it a little too far.  So far in fact that the rest of the world has no earthly idea what it is they’re trying to say…

But as often as it happens, rarely are the readers of the article a witness to the harsh smackdown of the headline writer at the hands of his editor.  The same editor who, like the readers, had no freaking clue what “Harry Me” was supposed to mean, but unlike the readers had the power to make them switch it to something a shade less idiotic…

Give the guy a break. The movie where Demi bones Redford was the only thing he could come up with on such short notice.

From: “Joe Mustache”

To: “Josh Bacott” , “Matt Sebek” , “Patrick Imig” “Jason Major” , “Dr. Aaron”

Subject: Look at this fatty …

Hey guys, just wanted to share with you some photos that came across my desk yesterday. Good gravy, Romo’s old lady has gained a few.

It’s a far cry from this pic as documented in late 2007 …

Maybe you guys could use it as part of the “Let Us Not Forget” segment in the Morning Tailgate. Whatever the case, Romo is still a huge, freaking dork, and Jessy has certainly let herself go. Idiot.

See you guys later tonight at the JSF Buffalo Chicken Dinner.

– JM

The Media Circus gives non-Dallas residents a glimpse of what sports would be like if it took place under the watch of Barnum and Bailey. And Yahoo! Sports’ Dan Wetzel adds a new wrinkle in the mainstream media Super Bowl complaint department.