All Sugar...No Steroids

One of my favorite scenes from the movie Space Jam (I promise I’m going somewhere with this) was the locker room scene at halftime. We find our protagonists, The Toon Sqaud, getting totally embarrassed by the Monstars.

As a way to hype up the team, Bugs Bunny fills up a bottle with water, but writes in huge letters, “MJ’s Special Stuff.” The Toons are convinced they are drinking the same liquid that made Jordan the greatest of all time, and come out in the third quarter on a rampage. As we all know, the Toon Squad ends up defeating the Monstars. And because of that, Mugsy Bogues gets his game back.

Now, the cartoons obviously did not take anything to enhance their performance. They merely thought they did. But, it really makes me wonder how much of a psychological impact, steroids have. Because in reality, there is no actual barometer of what steroids do.

Yes we know that steroids can be harmful when abused, and yes it is obvious that some athletes and bodybuilders are on something in order to make their legs bigger than my house. But the bottom line is (and argue all you want, but you know I’m right), no one actually knows the difference between hitting a fastball on steroids, and hitting one not on steroids. Yes it’s obvious that Bonds and McGuire were taking steroids. But no one on the planet knows what their numbers would have been like if they stopped. For example: guys like Giambi have recovered from post steroid depression and put together all star caliber seasons when they had to be clean.

With all of this said, I am adamantly against the use of steroids or any other illegal performance enhancing drug. But, I am also drinking a diet coke as I write this article, which is illegal if I am an Olympic athlete. With so many ridiculous drugs out there, and so many absurd regulations trying to control them, it is more than possible that some of these athletes really don’t know what is going in them.

And I know people are going to want to say, “everyone should be responsible enough to know what they are putting in their bodies.” To those people, I ask the following:

Without looking at the box, right now, tell me all of the ingredients in a Sudafed tablet. Not just the drug itself, the substances that hold it in pill form, the shiny coating…

Sorry you’re out of time.

With no genuine way to establish the game play effect of performance enhancing drugs, I can’t help but think that some people are just looking for the placebo effect. They are now taking the special stuff.

And this past weekend in sports had an incredible example. Ladies and gentlemen: Sugar Shane Mosely.

Sugar Shane was one of my favorite boxers growing up. He was a phenomenal lightweight with great quickness and serious knockout power. And of all of the athletes tied to the Balco investigations, hearing his name probably made me the most upset.

When you think about it, if there was one sport where steroid abuse could play a wildly dangerous role for all parties, it would be boxing. If you have the ability to punch harder and swing faster, you have essentially been scientifically granted the ability to kill a man in that ring with your fists.

But this past weekend, against Antonio Margarito (a man who was supposed to destroy him), Sugar Shane Mosley had another fun trick up his sleeve.

A DRUG FREE, 38 year-old Sugar Shane Mosely went to town on the face of his opponent. A man who had been publicly written off, and a man who had been privately fighting for his life as well as his children, came in and more importantly came in clean, and won big time. Shane Mosely, a former notorious steroid user, is once again clean and once again the World Welterweight Champion.

And here’s the funny part. With all of the ridiculous accusations and name calling going in Mosley’s direction for the last decade; it was Margarito who will more than likely have a tarnished reputation after this fight. Margarito was forced to change gloves right before the start of the fight after the referee discovered that the insides of his gloves were lined with plaster. To be honest, if I were told that I was going to have to choose between getting hit in the face by a guy on roids or a guy wearing a plaster cast; I would choose roid guy 100% of the time.

This ladies and gentlemen, is the gift and the curse of the sports world. The bad guys aren’t always bad. The good guys aren’t always good. And sometimes that “special stuff” isn’t all that special at all.

But what will always save sports at the end of the day is the one man or woman, with one chip on his or her shoulder and warrior’s heart to carry his or her burden.

Much like Space Jam, Sugar Shane had the special stuff in him all along. And on Saturday night, he got the most important win in his career.

Thank you Mr. Mosley.