Michael Irvin Set To Host Reality TV Show

Things are getting stranger by the minute in the Lone Star State.

As I read the report on the Yahoo! sports page, I could not help but laugh hysterically.

Retired Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin wants a piece of the reality TV pie.

He has created a show which will pit twelve football neophytes against each other, for the grand prize of winning a spot on this year’s training camp roster.

Are you kidding me?

America’s Team is letting some never was, nobodies compete to wear the Silver and Blue, and this is a good thing?

With all that has happened with the in-house fighting, and the T.O. show that is always in progress, I cannot fathom Irvin's motivation is anything beyond pure narcissism.

My bet is that you are a bored afterthought, and maybe you are a little jealous of the accolades that Emmitt Smith and Troy Aikman enjoy.

They are as squeaky clean as a baby's bum.

You continue to make headlines, going in the wrong direction.

Last week’s attempted car jacking ended with you and the suspect exchanging pleasantries.

Apparently Cowboy fans are excluded from the reality where crime is not something we find in common with others.

Next time I go to the ATM at 1:00 am, I will take off my shirt and flash my Redskins tattoo at a would-be assailant. Perhaps we can reminisce about the days of Dexter Manley (the last decent pass rusher the Redskins had).

But back to this uncertain reality.

Irvin describes the setup of his show like this:

“We’re going to take a group of guys from their front yard, dwindle them to one and give that guy an opportunity of a lifetime,” said Irvin. “You could’ve played college ball and had to give up for some reason.  You know how many stories are out there of players for some reason or another had to walk away from the game…. We want to find those guys."

Paging Al Bundy wannabes! 

The Dallas Cowboys challenge you to step up and see if you can hog the camera more than the likes of Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, and Jason Witten.

Dallas Cowboys coach Wade Phillips (still the head honcho for now) must be burying his lumpy head in his sausage fingers as the media are getting wind of this new development.

Hey, I am all for shameless self-promotion, even if it is under the guise of helping a poor schlep achieve the dream of a lifetime.

My argument is that it is a waste of a dream.

This announcement proves that the Dallas Cowboys believe their own press. 

Publicity is what this team craves. Cameras are their best friends. They are obnoxious and anoint themselves gods every offseason.

Hmm…and the Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl for the first time ever.

How unfair that must seem to the ego-driven scene-stealers in big D?

Newsflash: Tony Romo has yet to win a playoff game in a Dallas uniform.

Owner Jerry Jones is the most arrogant of them all.

I would hazard a guess and say he was all for this project. His face full of botox is front-and-center at every home game, so I will place my hand on the Bible today and surmise he will show up on this yet to be titled show.

This just in: Reports are now coming out that, yes, a guest appearance by Benjamin Button, I mean Jerry Jones is expected at some point during the competition.

Thanks to the producers of “The Biggest Loser” for giving this pitch the green light.

All involved are eager to begin picking the unseasoned average joes from the long list of applicants.

What we know about the show: there will be six receivers against six defensive backs.

No details are being released on what kind of hoops these lucky ducks will have to jump through each week.

Undrafted rookies usually earn about $1,000 dollars a week ($300,000 a year for the league minimum).

The NFL is not commenting, other than to say the winner will get one of the Cowboys' 80 roster spots allotted for training camp.

It is as if no one wants to come out and say, “Are you for real?”

Oh, wait. I just did.

If the show is a hit, then I will shut up, and take my lumps for making fun of a great marketing strategy.

But until the verdict is in, my fellow Cowboy haters, this song is for you.

Hail to the Cowboys. 
Hail injuries.
Graves mark the blood bath.
Fight until you bleed.