2009: The Year Of The Impossibles?

OK, Obama is POTUS, and the Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. Let's all reflect on that a second. Sure, it seems weird to say Cardinals and Super Bowl in the same sentence- that bird on the side of the helmet is hard to overlook. It's impossible.

So what other impossibles are in store for us this year? Is this a trend? If so, how about some of these impossibles coming to fruition?

• A BCS buster finally makes it to the title game, and wins.
  
• The Lions win their division.
  
• Notre Dame goes to a BCS Bowl.
  
• Iowa State wins the Big 12.
  
• Indiana wins the Big Ten.
  
• The rumors about Weis' demise stop.
  
• Washington State wins the Pac-10.
  
• South Carolina wins the SEC.
  
• The Thunder make it to the Finals.
  
• The Sooners win a BCS Bowl.
• Mark May declares "USC is an average team."
• NBC cancels their contract with Notre Dame and goes with Boston College instead.
• Junior Nation decides to fold up the tent.
• Yankees fans are voted "most pleasant to sit with at a baseball game."
• Pau and Kobe don't "verbally flop" for three consecutive games.
• A.I. gets a laser tat removal over his entire body.
• T.O. provides no personal opinion on anything related to the NFL next season.
• The Cowboys are officially removed as "America's team."
• Baseball players confess they have been juicing.
• A player who gets caught with drugs in his car doesn't claim it's his cousin's, friend's, etc.
• Lou Holtz doesn't refer to Notre Dame in the first person tense.
• The following words will be removed from the English language: hater, overrated, best conference, BCS Championship game, recession, idiot, moron, hack, soccer mom and unbiased opinion.
• Kirk Herbstreit suddenly turns ugly.
• Dennis Rodman returns to the NBA.
• The Cowboys sign Todd Marinovich.
• The words, " I have to feed my family" never coming up again during contract negotiations.
• NHL decides to air playoffs.
• The Cubbies win the World Series.
• Brett Favre finally puts an end to it all and retires permanently.
• Barry Bonds lands a job.
• Jerry Jones is discovered to really be Joan Rivers in disguise.
• Trolls become extinct.
• Al Davis signs Ryan Leaf as the Raiders' new quarterback.
• NASCAR becomes popular in Canada, Alaska, Minnesota and Hawai'i.
• The NCAA files charges and USC gets put on probation for five years.