10 Fighters Who Look Nothing Like Fighters

Close your eyes and picture a professional fighter. What do you see? Jacked muscles? Cauliflower ears? A scowling leathery face that has been hardened from years of eating punches? While no two fighters look the same, there is a bit of a mold that these guys seem to step out of.

This is a list of 10 professional fighters who don’t fit the standard mold. Be it their generally chipper demeanor or their less-than-chiseled physique, but if you had never seen a lot of these guys in action before, you would never guess that they cause pain for a living. These are athletes who, if you encountered in a bar, you might actually feel as if you could kick their ass. If you didn’t know better, these professional punishment providers could pass as tax attorneys, eye doctors or the opening act for Larry The Cable Guy.

Just for fun, I’ve decided to throw in some Hollywood Casting Agent magic. If these fighters went to a casting agency, looking for work in film, their appearance would greatly determine what role they landed. I’ve taken a guess at which part some of these fighters would receive.

Enjoy.

Tamdan McCrory

Hollywood Casting: Teacher's Assistant for Accounting Professor

Between 2007 and 2009, welterweight fighter Tamdan McCrory fought six times for the UFC. Each time that he entered the cage, it looked as if my accountant had found a moonlighting gig that didn’t quite reflect his day job.

Don't judge a book by it's cover though. McCrory has a trio of UFC victories to his credit.

McCrory appears to have a smaller frame, but has been looking to move up to the middleweight division in his next fight. Fans of McCrory and his Dimmu Borgir walkout music have been left wanting, as The Barncat hasn’t competed since his UFC release in August of 2009.

Royce Gracie

Hollywood Casting: Convenience Store Clerk

Royce Gracie was selected to represent his family over his brother Rickson at UFC 1, primarily due to concern that Rickson’s participation would bring too much focus on him and not the family’s world-renowned technique.

Gracie not “looking like a fighter” is what created such a powerful mystique about jiu-jitsu. Curious onlookers were floored to see such a tiny fighter utilizing seamless transitions to make men three times his size fall to submission.

Roy Nelson

Hollywood Casting: Sleazy Mechanic

Roy Nelson broke the mold when it came to fighters. No, that’s not a fat joke. An elite fighter must always be in fantastic cardiovascular conditioning. Proudly displaying his rotund midsection, Nelson proved that you don’t have to look like you’re in shape to be in shape.

If you need any further convincing, look at this photo of Nelson next to fellow heavyweight Andrei Arlovski. Instead of looking like a face-off between opponents, Big Country looks like a fan who waiting in line for an autograph and got his brother to snap a quick Polaroid.

Alan Belcher

Hollywood Casting: Father of Snobby Cheerleader

You can’t look at Alan Belcher and not see the face of a dad in your local PTA. While his face isn’t always memorable, his performances are unforgettable.

Were he not the victim of a close, but incorrect decision at UFC 100, Belcher would be on a six-fight win streak inside the Octagon. Sounds like contender material to me. Alan returns in May to take on leg-lock specialist Rousimar Palhares at UFC on Fox 3.

Cody McKenzie

Hollywood Casting: No need to imagine. McKenzie starred in the 2005 drama V is For Vendetta alongside Natalie Portman.

On May 15th, McKenzie tries to avoid the guillotine (pun very much intended) when he takes on Aaron Riley. McKenzie won his debut back in 2010, but found himself on the wrong end of a rear naked choke in successive bouts against Yves Edwards and Vagner Rocha.

Ronda Rousey

Hollywood Casting: Leading Lady

One of the most marketable qualities about Strikeforce Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey is that she doesn’t look like a fighter. Her body is well toned, but not overly muscular. She is very attractive, and her quick submission victories have prevented her from absorbing damage to the face.

Rousey has the face and body to be marketable on her looks alone, but her incredible grappling ability is what has made her the best in the world.

Dustin Hazelett

Hollywood Casting: Justin Timberlake’s stunt double

Another example of gangly welterweights, Dustin Hazelett is a self-described nerd who began taking jiu-jitsu lessons as a way to defend himself from bullies. He must have taken really good notes, because those BJJ skills earned him a 2008 Submission of the Year award for his flawless transition into an armbar against Josh Burkman.

Anderson Silva

Hollywood Casting: Basketball Coach

Keep in mind that we have to remove everything we know about a fighter when making this list. Anderson Silva’s sense of humor is goofy and his dance moves, even during combat, indicate that he is always having a good time. As a matter of fact, until you see him in the cage, very little about Anderson Silva would lead you to believe that he is the greatest fighter of all time.

Granted, if you are brave enough to piss off The Spider, his angry face rivals that of Diego Sanchez.

His physique is not particularly jacked but his long limbs and evasive movements have helped him shatter every record imaginable. Longest win streak? Longest title reign? Most Fight Night Awards for an active fighter? He’s got them all.

Fedor Emelianenko

Hollywood Casting: Strip Club Patron

Lacking the standard height, frame and muscles shared by the majority of heavyweight fighters, Fedor Emelianenko became one of the most successful heavyweights in the sport’s history. It’s a truly amazing feat when you consider that he could have been competing at light-heavyweight if he felt the weight cut was necessary.

Fedor is commonly pointed to when looking at fighters who don’t appear to be imposing, but can end up making you swallow your teeth. His knockout victories over Andrei Arlovski and Brett Rogers were bone crunching. His submission victories over Tim Sylvia and Kevin Randleman were quick and effortless.

While he has fallen off in recent years, there is no denying that Fedor has done what few men have ever been able to, and done it without the physical gifts possessed by many of his peers.

Dan Hardy

Hollywood Casting: Punk Rock Bass Player

Make no mistake about it, a mohawk and tattoos are not uncommon by any stretch of the imagination. The difference lies in the style and panache that Dan Hardy carries with him. "The Outlaw" is a the true embodiment of punk rock; a Sex Pistol born in the wrong generation.

Hardy looks like a guy you'd find in the mosh pits of dive bars of London. Instead of doing it for a paycheck, Dan appears to be the kind of guy who wants to get punched just for fun. Carrying his own flag of reckless courage, he is the rebel of the welterweight division and a truly unique member of the UFC roster.

Hardy has lost four straight inside the Octagon. If he doesn’t find his way past Duane Ludwig, you can be certain that “The Outlaw” will soon be cast in the role of “Guy Waiting in Unemployment Line.”