NCAA Tournament 2012 Bracket: Picking the Winners by Toughest Mascot

Ahh...mascots!

Every school has one. Some are cool and others are just plain absurd.

With the March Madness tournament underway this week, what if there was a concurrent tournament where the mascots of each team in the 68-team pool were pitted against each other. 

A fight-to-the-death duel between the mascots. How cool would that be? 

This isn't about the actual costumed mascot that appears at the game. We're talking about the actual name of the sports team. For instance, if we were to talk about the NBA, the Raptors would defeat the Bulls because a bull stands no chance against a dinosaur. The dinosaur would stomp all over the place and intimidate the bull.

On that notion, we predicted who would win the tournament if the mascots went at it by going through each and every matchup in the tournament.

Let's see what happens.

First Four: Western Kentucky Hilltoppers vs. MVSU Delta Devils

Result: Delta Devils over Hilltoppers

How does one match up against a delta devil? Because these devils are from the south, they have an edge compared to a regular devil. 

They shoot whiskey, hustle in pool and commit other sins that most devils do. 

Besides, what's a hilltopper anyway? This is the school's mascot because the university is situated on a hill. There's no way the spirits from the underworld lose to a group of people living on a hill. 

First Four: Lamar Cardinals vs. Vermont Catamounts

Result: Catamounts over Cardinals

This one is not even close. Catamounts are ferocious felines that will have no mercy for the red birds. In fact, they will make the cardinals a part of their diet. 

First Four: Iona Gaels vs. Brigham Young Cougars

Results: Cougars over Gaels 

As much as we wanted to see a Gaels vs. Fighting Irish matchup, it's not going to happen. Cougars are fast, agile animals. 

A Gaelic person will not be able to wrestle a cougar down, no matter how angry he is. 

First Four: California Golden Bears vs. South Florida Bulls

Result: Bulls over Golden Bears

It's the ultimate matchup between a bull and a bear. However, something tells me a golden bear is far less intimidating than a grizzly. 

Bulls win. 

Second Round South Region: No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils vs. No. 1 Kentucky Wildcats

Results: Delta Devils over Wildcats

Mythical figures—especially evil ones—have a huge advantage over animals in this tournament.

Devils can throw fireballs and lightning bolts at wildcats and that's going to overwhelm the poor felines, who won't be too wild anymore after their dual with the demons from the underworld. 

Second Round South: No. 8 Iowa State Cyclones vs. No. 9 Connecticut Huskies

Results: Cyclones over Huskies

Cyclones are devastating natural catastrophes that have wiped out towns. If it can take out a town, then a husky is not going to have a shot in this battle. 

Second Round South: No. 5 Wichita St. Shockers vs. No. 12 VCU Rams

Result: Shockers over Rams

No matter how burly and aggressive rams are, a shocker can send high voltage through its body to stun the ram. 

Because of this, the ram really doesn't have any way to attack. If he approaches the shocker, it will be buzzed. This helpless predicament is the reason why the Shockers bolt their way to the third round. 

Second Round South: No. 4 Indiana Hoosiers vs. No. 13 NMSU Aggies

Result: Hoosiers over Aggies

This is an intriguing showdown between two groups of people. A Hoosier is a person from the state of Indiana. The term "Aggies" is short for a person that makes his or her profession in agriculture.

Aggies are generally into growing crops and farming. There is nothing tough about that.

Meanwhile, Hoosiers have to deal with the brutal winters of Indiana. That alone makes them tough. Because of this, they edge the Aggies in a close fight. 

Second Round South: No. 6 UNLV Runnin' Rebels vs. No. 11 Colorado Buffaloes

Result: Runnin' Rebels over Buffaloes

If you're a running rebel, you're probably a fugitive that carries a weapon. Buffaloes are bulky animals, but it all depends on how big their herd is. 

These particular rebels are good at running, so escaping a herd will be highly beneficial. Using their deadly weapons will put the buffaloes to rest and help them advance to the next round in a dirty fashion. 

Second Round South: No. 3 Baylor Bears vs. No. 14 South Dakota St. Jackrabbits

Results: Bears over Jackrabbits

Does this really need an explanation? 

Second Round South: No. 7 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. No. 10 Xavier Musketeers

Result: Musketeers over Fighting Irish

There's nothing scarier than a drunk Irishman who is ready to fight. That being said, a musketeer is armed and dangerous.

The pugnacious Irishman might have a lot of fight in his fists, but he is no match for a man with a musket. 

Second Round South: No. 2 Duke Blue Devils vs. No. 15 Lehigh Mountain Hawks

Result: Blue Devils over Mountain Hawks

These devils may be blue and less evil-looking than a red devil, but they still have mythical powers that are unmatched by a bird that resides on a mountain. 

Second Round West: No. 1 Michigan St. Spartans vs. No. 16 Long Island Blackbirds

Results: Spartans over Blackbirds

The Beatles may have sung about the blackbird at one point, but all they're really good for is "singing at the dead of night." 

A spartan is brave and powerful and will dispose of the blackbird handily. 

Second Round West: No. 8 Memphis Tigers vs. No. 9 St. Louis Billikens

Result: Tigers over Billikens

Believe it or not, a Billiken is a charm doll that was popular in the 1910s. Tiger wins by default. 

Second Round West: No. 5 New Mexico Lobos vs. No. 12 LBSU 49ers

Results: Lobos over 49ers

Lobo is the Spanish word for "wolf."

49ers were brave miners who dug for gold in the 1800s during the Gold Rush. They exemplified toughness by working in rough conditions.

That being said, just look at the wolf's eyes in the logo pictured above. That's a scary and frightful image that would make even the toughest 49er wet their pants. 

Second Round West: No. 4 Louisville Cardinals vs. No. 13 Davidson Wildcats

Results: Wildcats over Cardinals

Another pair of wildcats and cardinals in our tournament bracket.

These wildcats from Davidson get a break, though. Rather than facing a mythical demon, they go up against a bird that they swallow up for lunch. 

Second Round West: No. 6 Murray St. Racers vs No. 11 Colorado St. Rams

Results: Rams over Racers

The Colorado State Rams are the second group of rams in this tournament. 

Note that they're going up against a mascot that is good at racing, not fighting. 

Rams win. 

Second Round West: No. 3 Marquette Golden Eagles vs No. 14 Brigham Young Cougars

Result: Cougars over Golden Eagles

The ultimate air versus ground battle. We saw this many times as children when we watched Pidgeotto take on Pikachu in Pokemon reruns. 

Both of these animals seem tough, but something about the fact that the eagles are golden makes them seem softer. It's just not an intimidating color. 

Second Round West: No. 7 Florida Gators vs. No. 10 Virginia Cavaliers

Results: Cavaliers over Gators

The gator has the misfortune of going up against a man with a weapon. There is no way the reptile survives. 

Second Round West: No. 2 Missouri Tigers vs. No. 15 Norfolk St. Spartans

Result: Spartans over Tigers

Once again, a dangerous animal goes up against a human being wielding a sword and dressed in armor. No shot for the poor tiger here. 

Second Round East: No. 1 Syracuse Orange vs. No. 16 UNC-Asheville Bulldogs

Result: Bulldogs over Orange

Even an ant would win a dual against a color. 

Second Round East: No. 8 Kansas St. Wildcats vs. No. 9 South Miss. Golden Eagles

Result: Wildcats over Golden Eagles

This is our second matchup in the tournament between a feline and a golden eagle. The eagle has a huge disadvantage because of the fact that it's golden and not ferocious.

They lose to the angry wildcat. 

Second Round East: No. 5 Vanderbilt Commodores vs. No. 12 Harvard Crimson

Result: Commodores over Crimson

Is crimson an intelligent version of red? 

Whatever it is, there's no way a color is going to win a game in this tournament. The Commodores cruise. 

Second Round East: No. 4 Wisconsin Badgers vs. No. 13 Montana Grizzlies

Result: Grizzlies over Badgers

These forest animals may share a similar habitat, but they don't have congruent characteristics in terms of toughness. The stronger grizzly bear overtakes the badger without a sweat. 

Second Round East: No. 6 Cincinnati Bearcats vs. No. 11 Texas Longhorns

Result: Bearcats over Longhorns

Longhorns are intelligent animals but this isn't a battle of smarts. Bearcats, who are also known as wolverines, have a huge advantage against the nerdy breed of cattle. 

Second Round East: No. 3 Florida St. Seminoles vs No. 14 St. Bonaventure Bonnies

Results: Seminoles over Bonnies

Bonnies are another name for a student at St. Bonaventure. Nothing against the toughness of the great kids that attend St. Bonaventure, but a Seminole has battle experience and can probably shoot a bow and arrow better than anyone else. 

Second Round East: No. 7 Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. No. 10 West Virginia Mountaineers

Results: Mountaineers over Bulldogs 

What's ironic about this matchup is that there are probably plenty of mountaineers that own a bulldog.

So, with that in mind, if you own an opponent, doesn't that mean you defeat them often? 

Second Round East: No. 2 Ohio State Buckeyes vs. No. 15 Loyola Greyhounds

Result: Greyhounds over Buckeyes

Considering that the buckeye tree is the state tree of Ohio, this is a mismatch in the greyhound's favor. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 1 UNC Tar Heels vs. No. 16 Vermont Catamounts

Result: Catamounts over Tar Heels

The name Tar Heel is a nickname used to identify the inhabitants of North Carolina. They may have a rich history, but there is no way they are tougher than a catamount. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 8 Creighton Bluejays vs. No. 9 Alabama Crimson Tide

Results: Bluejays over Crimson Tide

This is a battle between two softies. The bluejay gets a break because it's up against a color. 

So far, colors are, not surprisingly, 0-3 in the tournament. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 5 Temple Owls vs. No. 12 USF Bulls

Results: Bulls over Owls

No big surprise here. 

Even if the battle is during night—where the owl has an advantage—the bull is just far superior to the nocturnal bird. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 4 Michigan Wolverines vs. No. 13 Ohio Bobcats

Result: Wolverines over Bobcats

This is one of the best matchups so far in the tournament. Wolverines may be small, but they have the ability to scavenge prey bigger than themselves. 

Bobcats, on the other hand, only go after deer and rodents. 

From these facts, it appears that wolverines are tougher and more willing to challenge tougher opponents. The wolverine edges the bobcat in an epic fight. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 6 San Diego State Aztecs vs. No. 11 NC State Wolfpack

Results: Wolfpack over Aztecs

Considering the Aztecs' weapons weren't as developed as the modern man's, they will have a difficult time going up against a pack of wolves.

That is, of course, this is an actual wolfpack and not the four-man wolfpack from The Hangover. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 3 Georgetown Hoyas vs. No. 14 Belmont Bruins

Result: Bruins over Hoyas

Only because "Hoya" is Greek-Latin chant. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 7 St. Mary's Gaels vs. No. 10 Purdue Boilermakers

Result: Boilermakers over Gaels

Who knew there would be two separate groups of Gaels in this tournament?

These ones from St. Mary's go up against boilermakers, who are craftsmen and can be associated as blue-collar. We all know how brawny blue-collar workers are, thus the boilermakers take this one handily. 

Second Round Midwest: No. 2 Kansas Jayhawks vs. No. 15 Detroit Titans

Results: 

The Jayhawk looks too happy in Kansas' logo. It doesn't seem like he's capable of doing anything tough.

Titans also have armor, shields and swords. The bird has no chance. 

Third Round South: No. 8 Iowa State Cyclones vs. No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils

Result: Delta Devils over Cyclones

The delta devil experiences hellish hurricanes in the Mississippi Valley. What makes you think a cyclone is going to deter it? 

Also, I don't think earthly weather catastrophes can do anything harmful to a mythical demon. 

Third Round South: No. 4 Indiana Hoosiers vs. No. 5 Wichita St. Shockers

Result: Shockers over Hoosiers

Unfortunately for the Hoosiers, being from Indiana doesn't make you immune to electrocution. 

Third Round South: No. 3 Baylor Bears vs. No. 6 UNLV Runnin' Rebels

Result: Runnin' Rebels over Bears

Once again, a fugitive most likely has a gun in his possession. They're good-for-nothings who are trying to escape the law. The weapon will most likely be enough to get them to the next round. 

Third Round South: No. 2 Duke vs. No. 10 Xavier Musketeers

Result: Blue Devils over Musketeers

Not even the musketeers can shoot down a hellish blue devil. Their mischievous fireballs and lightning bolts produce huge explosions, which deter the brave musketeer. 

As you can see, powers from the underworld are tough to stop. 

Third Round West: No. 1 Michigan St. Spartans vs. No. 8 Memphis Tigers

Results: Spartans over Tigers

The almighty and brave Spartan uses his sword to slay the tiger and advance to the next round. 

Third Round West: No. 5 New Mexico Lobos vs. No. 13 Davidson Wildcats

Result: Lobos over Wildcats

Dogs chase cats. 

These are different breeds, but the same story. 

Third Round West: No. 11 Colorado St. Rams vs. No. 14 Brigham Young Cougars

Result: Rams over Cougars

This one is a toss-up, but I'm going to have to go with the Rams because of their superior head-butting abilities. That can really give any animal a concussion. 

Third Round West: No. 10 Virginia Cavaliers vs. No. 15 Norfolk St. Spartans

Result: Cavaliers over Spartans

Cavaliers were around during the time of King Charles in England. Spartans were around during the times of Ancient Greece.

From those facts, it's easy to see that a cavalier would defeat a spartan because the cavalier has access to superior weaponry. 

Third Round East: No. 8 Kansas State Wildcats vs. No. 16 UNC-Asheville Bulldogs

Results: Bulldogs over Wildcats

Once again, dogs have dominated cats since the dawn of time. These are different breeds of the classic dog versus cat matchup, so the bulldog prevails. 

Third Round East: No. 5 Vanderbilt Commodores vs. No. 13 Montana Grizzlies

Result: Commodores over Grizzlies

Both are brave in their own right, but commodores are soldiers that have fought in wars. The grizzly, out of respect, bows out of the fight and allows the commodore to advance to the Sweet Sixteen. 

Third Round East: No. 3 Florida State Seminoles vs. No. 6 Cincinnati Bearcats

Result: Seminoles over Bearcats

The Seminoles have experienced so much throughout their history. A bearcat isn't going to stop them. 

Third Round East: No. 10 West Virginia Mountaineers vs. No. 15 Loyola Greyhounds

Result: Mountaineers over Greyhounds

In the last round, mountaineers won because some of them literally own bulldogs, and if anyone owns something, that just means they're better than them. 

The same is the case in the third round. There are probably some mountaineers that own greyhounds as pets. If your opponent is also your pet, what sort of challenge is that?

Third Round Midwest: No. 8 Creighton Bluejays vs. No. 16 Vermont Catamounts

Result: Catamounts over Bluejays

It's a mountain lion against a bird. Come on, man! Not even fair! 

Third Round Midwest: No. 4 Michigan Wolverines vs. No. 12 South Florida Bulls

Result: Bulls over Wolverines

The wolverines' unique ability to take on prey twice its size is very unique, but a bull is literally a completely different animal. They're so big and hard to bring down. Aside from that, they're also aggressive.

It's a close one, but the bull wins. 

Third Round Midwest: No. 11 NC State Wolfpack vs. No. 14 Belmont Bruins

Results: Wolfpack over Bruins

The fact that it's a wolfpack and not just a wolf really helps their cause. A wolfpack has teamwork and they all have each other's backs. That chemistry propels them past the bruin. 

Third Round Midwest: No. 10 Purdue Boilermakers vs. No. 15 Detroit Titans

Result: Titans over Boilermakers

Titans are made for battling. They're brave warriors who don't back down to anybody. As gritty as a boilermaker from the Midwest is, they are no match for a titan. 

Sweet Sixteen South: No. 5 Wichita State Shockers vs. No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils

Result: Delta Devils over Shockers

Mythical figures that are demonic are immune to electrocution. Devils already live in hellish conditions, so getting shocked will not effect them one bit. The delta devil will probably absorb the electricity and use it as a counter attack against the shocker. 

Sweet Sixteen South: No. 2 Duke Blue Devils vs. No. 6 UNLV Runnin' Rebels

Result: Blue Devils over Runnin' Rebels

This is a gruesome battle between two antagonists. However, the blue devil once again has supreme powers that the running rebel will never attain. 

Sweet Sixteen West: No. 1 Michigan State Spartans vs. No. 5 New Mexico Lobos

Results: Spartans over Lobos

The Spartan is brave and protected by shields and armor. He also has weaponry superior to the wolf's sharp teeth. The wolf, or lobo, can't do anything about it and finally falters. 

Sweet Sixteen West: No. 10 Virginia Cavaliers vs. No. 11 Colorado St. Rams

Result: Cavaliers over Rams

Although a ram can knock off a cavalier off his horse and do some damage, the fact that the cavalier has weapons in his possession is a huge advantage. It turns out to be the turning point, as the cavalier advances to the Elite Eight. 

Sweet Sixteen East: No. 5 Vanderbilt Commodores vs No. 16 UNC-Asheville Bulldogs

Results: Commodores over Bulldogs

There are plenty of commodores who probably have families back home who own a pet. Some of those pets are bulldogs.

Once again, if your opponent is also your pet, then you own your opponent.

Sweet Sixteen East: No. 3 Florida State Seminoles vs. No. 10 WVU Mountaineers

Results: Seminoles over Mountaineers

When one thinks of a mountaineer, an image of a man with a cowboy hat and a big beard comes to mind. On the other hand, for a Seminole, the image of a brave warrior fighting for his people is conjured in our heads.

Well, at least in my head.

For that reason, the Seminoles advance to the Elite Eight. 

Sweet Sixteen Midwest: No. 12 South Florida Bulls vs. No. 16 Vermont Catamounts

Results: Bulls over Catamounts

Once again, the bull takes on a relentless predator. Although the catamount has a speed advantage, the bull is just too massive and can generate plenty of momentum if he's running at the cougar at full speed.

If he can knock the catamount to the ground and start trampling, it's not going to end well for the feline.

It's a close one, but the bull heads to the Elite Eight. 

Sweet Sixteen Midwest: No. 11 NC State vs. No. 15 Detroit Titans

Results: Titans over Wolfpack

Not even a pack of wolves can bring down a titan. 

Even if it's just one titan, they are mythical figures that can shoot lightning bolts out of their hands. They are based on Greek mythology and possess supreme explosive powers. 

Elite Eight South: No. 2 Duke Blue Devils vs. No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils

Result: Delta Devils over Blue Devils

It's the battle for the ages between the two devils in the tournament.

Since they are both devils, in order to figure out which one is stronger, we must look at the adjective next to their name.

The delta devil is a fiery demon that throws fireballs and just looks more ferocious than the blue devil, who seems more cunning than deadly.

It seems like murderers turn into delta devils and people involved in business fraud turn into blue devils after death. Obviously, the delta devil is going to be more powerful.

For this reason, the delta devil wins a highly explosive battle against his brethren and advances to the Final Four. 

Elite Eight West: No. 1 Michigan State Spartans vs. No. 10 Virginia Cavaliers

Result: Cavaliers over Spartans

This is the second Spartan that's losing to a cavalier in this tournament. 

Once again, the cavalier has modern weaponry as they were around during the time of King Charles I in England. Meanwhile, Spartans were around in Ancient Greece. 

Elite Eight East: No. 3 Florida State Seminoles vs. No. 5 Vanderbilt Commodores

Result: Commodores over Seminoles

It's a matchup between a commodore in the US Navy against a Seminole chief. 

This is a mismatch. The commodore has the militaristic advantage and that's enough to propel him to the Final Four. 

Elite Eight Midwest: No. 12 South Florida Bulls vs. No. 15 Detroit Titans

Result: Titans over Bulls

There is no animal or living being on this planet that can match up against a titan. The titan is just too powerful of a supreme deity. A titan can only fall to another deity or supreme being.

Final Four 1: No. 10 Virginia Cavaliers vs. No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils

Result: Delta Devils over Cavaliers

Fireballs and explosions are just too much for the horsed men. The delta devil sets fire to the entire town that the cavalry calls home and laughs his way to the national championship game. 

Final Four 2: No. 5 Vanderbilt Commodores vs. No. 15 Detroit Titans

Result: Titans over Commodores

As mentioned in the last Titans win, no being can defeat a titan. It's just impossible. When you can control the weather, you can create a dire situation for a commodore on his navy ship by bringing a vicious storm to wipe him out.

The titan roars into the national championship to take on the delta devil in a classic match between good and evil. 

National Championship: No. 15 Detroit Titans vs. No. 16 MVSU Delta Devils

As mentioned before, Titans are based on Greek mythology. They were a group of deities that ruled over Greece. 

In other words, people in Greece looked up to them as gods. 

And we all know what a devil is. The delta devil needs no introduction.

Therefore, this is a classic matchup between good versus evil. 

And since good usually wins and we want to end this on a positive note, the titan defeats the delta devil in a fight filled with numerous explosions. He sends him back to the underworld for good and everyone lives happily ever after. 

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