15 Footballers You Could Beat Easily in a Fight

Ever wondered when it's going to be time for your 15 minutes of fame? Why not fast track the process and pick a fight with a top footballer?

Sounds crazy. Why would you want to get your ass handed to you by a professional athlete?

But use this list of the 15 footballers you could beat in a fight and you could be on your way to success.

Who else deserves a mention on this list? Comment below.

Jens Lehmann and Didier Drogba

We start off the list with a double header, and as long as a referee's watching you should have no problem with these two.

Despite standing at 6' 3" and 6' 2" respectively, Jens Lehmann and Didier Drogba are not the threats in a fight that they could be.

Lehmann is surprisingly vulnerable to the barge to the arm. Not comfortable with people invading his personal space, he will collapse like a puppet rather than fight back.

Meanwhile Drogba, while physically impressive, shows signs of weakness when pushed slightly in the back. If you have the speed to get behind him, Drogba will be down more times than you can count.

Peter Crouch

While Crouchy does have the height advantage over pretty much anyone he comes up against, his gangly proportions could count against him.

By the time Crouch has thrown a punch and reeled in his first punch, you've got a solid five minutes to get your best shots in.

You may have trouble getting in any shots to the head, so you'll probably have to spend some time chopping down the tree before yelling TIMBERRRR!!!

Rivaldo

Next up is Rivaldo, the Achilles of our list.

He may be one of the most technically gifted players of recent times, but just like the great warrior of ancient Greece, he has a vital weakness.

Instead of his heel, it is Rivaldo's thigh that is your key to victory.

A light tap on the right thigh will apparently cause the Brazilian's brain to implode, leaving him writhing on the ground.

Fight over.

Owen Hargreaves

All you need against Owen is stamina and the ball's in your court.

Keep running away and chances are that he will go down sooner rather than later.

The poor guy's barely taken a step since 2007 without having to be stretchered out of the stadium.

Keep on your toes and you should be awarded victory by way of TKO.

Scott Parker

Scott Parker is a finely tuned athlete playing at the top of his game. Under normal circumstances it would not be advisable to step into a fight matching this description.

However, Parker has just been named the new captain of the England football team. This was due in no small part to his squeaky clean image.

Following the controversy surrounding recent captains of England, Parker desperately needs to keep this image intact.

Scrapping with a member of the public is unlikely to achieve this.

What better time to face off with the captain of England?

Ronaldo

Ronaldo is not the man he once was. The three-time FIFA Player of the Year hits the list hard with his considerable weight.

You would be wise to steer well clear of the Brazilian's kicks, but he cannot be as fast as he once was.

Get on your bike and wait for his engine to run out of fuel. Then take the opportunity against a tired opponent and you should be on the road to victory.

Having a couple of (alleged) transvestite prostitutes at ringside to distract him wouldn't hurt your cause either.

Jonathan Woodgate

When picking a fight with a footballer, the prospect of taking on a centre-back would make most people shy away.

That may not be the case if the centre-back in question was Jonathan Woodgate.

One of the unluckiest English defenders in recent years, Woodgate has been plagued by injuries. However, you should always be wary of weakened prey.

With a history including an incident which left a student beaten unconscious, there may be better options for you on this list.

Kieron Dyer

Continuing with the theme of injury prone players, next up is perennial physio botherer Kieron Dyer.

A potential problem for a prospective fight would be baiting the player into the fight in the first place.

This wouldn't be a problem with Kieron. All you need to do is be as punchable as Lee Bowyer and the job is done.

Once you're in the ring with him, concentrate your attack on his injured foot and nature should take its cause. Dyer will once again be in the hands of the medical staff.

Marco Materazzi

If you've got a solid headbutt and you can get it in quickly, then this is the dream matchup for you.

At 6' 4", fighting Materazzi would not be a good idea for most of us. Nicknamed "The Butcher", you're not going to want to hang around with this one.

But if you happen to own a solid French forehead and a thick skin for insults, then Materazzi's the man to go for.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

This is yet another player on the list who is over six feet tall, but yet another who has weaknesses to exploit.

Firstly let's look at the mental side. Ibra is a man who often plays like he sees himself as a god amongst men (possibly rightly depending which fans you ask).

There's a chance that he may not bother with a mere mortal like yourself.

Then is the time to take advantage of the physical side.

As long as you're tall enough, you shouldn't be able to miss that nose.

It;s a massive target and one good hit may bring the Swede down to earth with a bump.

Lukasz Fabianski

When fighting anybody, the best possible advantage you can have is if your opponent can't punch.

Enter Arsenal's Lukasz Fabianski.

If his ability to punch away a cross is anything like his ability to punch a fellow human being, then Flappy Handski is the player for you to take on.

Nani

If your looking to beat a footballer in a fight then you'll want them to go down easily.

Look no further than Manchester United's Portuguese diving champion Nani.

For many of the players on this list, a good shot would be needed to take the victory. No such dangers would present themselves here, even a light breeze could be enough to take down the mercurial winger.

And as the video shows, even if Nani does get a hit in on you, it'll probably hurt him just as much. So the worst you can do is a draw.

Sergio Busquets

Sergio Busquets has mastered the art of diving.

It is now so deeply ingrained within him that it could be impossible for him to ever win a fight.

Whether you're in front of him, behind or to the side, it shouldn't matter. Busquets is made of glass and you won't even need to touch him to make him break.

It is enough to simply be near him and wait. The result will come. Busquets is undoubtedly the easiest route you could take to a win in a fight against a footballer.

Lionel Messi

We round off our list with the best of them all.

While Lionel Messi is the best player of his generation, he may not be so gifted in a fight.

Standing between 5' 6" and 5' 7", the waif-like Argentine could be easy pickings for someone looking to take out a footballer.

As the video shows, Messi is very easily taken down. Just aim a kick anywhere near him and you're pretty much guaranteed the knockout.