NBA Rising Stars Challenge 2012: Why Shaq's Team Will Crush Team Chuck

Thursday, Shaquille O’Neal and Charles Barkley, TNT’s loudest (and baldest) duo of basketball analysts, chose sides for the annual Rookie/Sophomore game (now called the Rising Star Challenge).

It’s the first year of this new format and for the first time in a while, it feels like this game will mean something, at least to Shaq and Charles. 

Shaq is feeling so confident about his team that he said he’d set himself on fire if his team doesn’t win by at least 10 points.  Luckily for the Big Aristotle, he won’t have to do that.  Shaq drafted an excellent team. 

Here is why Chuck should be the one getting out the fire extinguisher instead of Shaq when the two squads play in Orlando next week.

They Have Size: Shaq, worried that his team didn’t have enough size, actually offered Charles, Jeremy Lin in exchange for San Antonio’s 6’11” Tiago Splitter.  No need to worry Shaqtus.  Greg Monroe (6’11”), Tristan Thompson (6’9”) and Markieff Morris (6’10”) are plenty big enough to fend off Chuck’s frontcourt of DeMarcus Cousins, Derrick Williams, Kawhi Leonard and Splitter.  Oh, and did I mention …

Blake Griffin is on his team: If he can jump over a Kia, I don’t see why he can’t throw it down on Cousins and Splitter in a game that’s grown famous for its lack of defense.

Lob City 2.0: Shaq loaded up on point guards, a brilliant idea because guards usually dominate the Rookie/Sophomore game.  Griffin will be getting alley-oop tosses from a five-headed point guard attack that includes Ricky Rubio, Kemba Walker, Brandon Knight, Norris Cole and Jeremy Lin.  Griffin’s feet may never touch the ground in this game, that’s how much dunking he’s going to be doing.

He Has Jeremy Lin: The guy never loses!  This dude out-dueled Kobe a week ago.  I think he can handle John Wall and Marshon Brooks.

Shaq is a Winner: How many rings does Shaq have?  Four.  Charles?  None.  If Shaq wants to do something, whether it’s winning at basketball, becoming a cop, a rapper, a veterinarian, astronaut, making a movie about a genie in a boom box, he does it. 

So don’t worry about Shaq getting second-degree burns at All-Star weekend: Team Shaq will prevail.