Lob City and the Most Fitting Nickname for Every NBA Team

In the NBA throughout history, it takes a special team to deserve a nickname, and now that the Los Angeles Clippers have been deemed the "Lob City Clippers," I've decided to take a look around the league and give a shot at nicknaming the remaining teams.

A nickname usually gives some sort of insight into who the player or team receiving the nickname is, and there's usually a humorous element to it bringing it all together.

Some teams out there are more deserving of brandishing a new nickname than others, as it's usually good teams that are nicknamed as a group, but there are some who can't be passed up without seeing what kind of nickname should be given.

Now, the only time a nickname can really stick is when it comes out naturally and doesn't sound forced, and as some of these are obviously better than others, I'm open to the opinions of the rest of the basketball world. So if you have an idea for an improvement on a team's nickname, feel free to chime in.

Without further ado, I give you the newly nicknamed NBA.

Atlanta Hawks, Bits and Pieces

It seems crazy to me that a team can be relying on Tracy McGrady, Vladamir Radmanovic, Zaza Pachulia and a host of players playing out of position and still be as good as the Hawks are.

Now, they probably won't be winning any titles this season, but the mere fact that they aren't worse than last season after a complete overhaul of their bench is impressive. Not to mention, they're still without a true starting center, causing Al Horford (when healthy) and Josh Smith to both play out of position.

Boston Celtics, Fantastic No More

This new nickname for the Boston Celtics is a play on the old nickname they received after it was obvious that "The Boston Three Party" didn't fit anymore.

Rajon Rondo was emerging as a star player, and the four amigos were given the nickname "The Fantastic Four."

A few years have passed, and the older Celtics are starting to slow down. Rondo is taking on a bigger load, and while they are still a good team, they are no longer fantastic. 

Charlotte Bobcats, Bobkittens

The current Charlotte Bobcats wouldn't normally deserve a nickname. They are a terribly untalented team relying heavily on bad players to get every point possible, and it shows when you look at their win column.

It's for that reason that I decided to improve upon their team name, branding them the Charlotte Bobkittens.

This Bobcats team plays more players under the age of 25 than almost any other team out there, so it's a call to how young and inexperienced they are.

Chicago Bulls, Rose Without Thorns

A play on words of sorts that I felt was obviously necessary when it came to the Chicago Bulls—I mean, it couldn't get much easier.

With Derrick Rose's name so easy to play on, I've branded these Bulls a "Rose Without Thorns."

This Bulls team is classically built with a singular superstar and players surrounding him, complementing him and picking up the slack when he's not in. In other words, they have no glaring weakness, or no thorns.

Cleveland Cavaliers, Kyrie's Angles

Obviously a play on "Charlie's Angels," this new nickname for the Cleveland Cavaliers had to center around the new future of the team, Kyrie Irving.

This one just flowed off the tongue; plus, it's fun to imagine Anderson Varejao solving crimes with Boobie Gibson and Tristan Thompson on a weekly basis.

Dallas Mavericks, Mid-Life Mavericks

Right now, the Dallas Mavericks are kind of in a mid-life-crisis mode, not to mention populated with middle-aged guys.

They are in a season where they chose to play for the future rather than go for the gold and try to win another title, kind of putting them between a rock and a hard place.

However, these "Mid-Life Mavericks," while giving Delonte West, Lamar Odom, Dirk Nowitzki, Vince Carter, Shawn Marion, Jason Terry, Brian Cardinal and Brendon Haywood the majority of their playing time, have succeeded to some extent and are thriving in their mid-life crises. 

Denver Nuggets, Mile-High Hustlers

Hey, what do you know? A play on the fact that Denver is really high up. 

While it may be an overused and overextended source of nicknames in the sports world these days, I just found that this one made sense and flowed well for these Denver Nuggets.

The "Mile-High Hustlers" are winning games night in and night out with transition and beating the other team on the fast break.

Detroit Pistons, Reluctant Rebuilders

As the Pistons came out of last season, it was pretty evident to the rest of the world that they should start rebuilding—they were lying stagnant near the bottom of the lottery, and things weren't looking good.

On the one hand, they went ahead and waived Rip Hamilton and started their future with some young players, but on the other hand they're still giving minutes to Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon; plus, they retained Tayshaun Prince.

They are reluctantly rebuilding, indeed.

Golden State Warriors, the Action Jacksons

In Mark Jackson's first season as the head coach for the Golden State Warriors, he's tried to get them to play better defense. While they've tried, the talent just isn't there.

So, while still preaching defense, Jackson has started to harp less on what this team can't do and has begun to help accentuate what this team can do.

Golden State is starting to climb back up the list in points per game and have become the second-best assisting team in the NBA, giving them the action-packed offense that they've always had, branding this team the "Action Jacksons."

Houston Rockets, Rocket Fuel

Whenever I watch the Houston Rockets, there just seems to be something about them that makes guys play better.

They didn't have it near the beginning of the season, and I thought they had lost it when Chuck Hayes left, but now they are playing like their old, scrappy selves again.

They seem to be working harder than possible, burning on rocket fuel just to get by every game, yet they seem to play at the same level every night in.

Indiana Pacers, Balanced Ballers

There isn't a basketball team out there that spreads out the duties on the basketball floor quite like the Indiana Pacers.

They have seven players averaging at least nine points per game, while they peak at just over 18 a game with Danny Granger. Beyond that, they all do their parts crashing the boards (six guys with around five rebounds or more) and passing the ball (six guys with around two assists or more).

These "Balanced Ballers" have used their deep lineup and diverse skill set to make sure that everyone does their part, and when someone is unable to do their part, they have someone that can step up and help out.

Los Angels Clippers, the Showtime Blakers

I like the nickname that the Clippers currently have, the proudly boastful "Lob City" Clippers, but I have another one that I've been enamored with for a while now.

With Blake Griffin obviously the focal point of excitement on this team, surrounded by a handful of players who are nearly as exciting, they play a type of ball that hearkens back to the Lakers of old.

Therefore, "The Showtime Blakers" were born, a name I think they've earned and will wear well.

Los Angeles Lakers, Fight or Dwight

It's been kind of a given that, at some point in the near future, the Lakers are going to be mulling over giving the Orlando Magic a trade offer for Dwight Howard; it's just a matter of whether it will go through or not.

Therefore, these weak-benched Lakers who get all of their scoring from (mainly) three guys will have to either fight hard this season or turn to Dwight and see how things work out.

Memphis Grizzlies, Maulin' and Ballin'

Ever since Zach Randolph went down with a knee injury a few weeks ago, the Memphis Grizzlies have had a pretty simple game plan.

Memphis' goal is to rough up the other team as much as possible on both ends of the floor in order to win games.

Therefore, the "Maulin' and Ballin'" Grizzlies were born.

Miami Heat, the Three AmEgos

This is the trio nickname that I was a fan of from the beginning for these Miami Heat, although I think it's started to wear thin ever since their NBA Finals loss.

Obviously, this worked when the team came together nearly two years ago now after they threw the equivalent of a victory parade after free agency, but the egos have started to wane a bit.

Still, I see this team as having some pretty big egos, so until it becomes obvious that this doesn't make sense, I'm sticking by it.

Milwaukee Bucks, Dangerous Deer

There's one thing for sure at this point in the season—these are some deer to be feared.

The Milwaukee Bucks may not have the best record in the league, but they have beaten some good teams, having now ended up victorious over the Los Angeles Lakers once and the Miami Heat twice.

These are certainly some "Dangerous Deer."

Minnesota Timberwolves, a Little More Than Love

Last year, the nickname for the Timberwolves, without a doubt, would have been "All You Need is Love," but they aren't the same team any more.

Ricky Rubio has come stateside and turned them—with the help of Kevin Love—into a completely different team.

They are running an offense together and even trying on defense, turning them into a .500 team and a borderline playoff team.

New Jersey Nets, Brooklyn Bombers

As the New Jersey Nets finish out their lame-duck term in Jersey before they make the move to Brooklyn, it might as well be time to start looking toward the future.

Beyond that, the Nets have one of the highest three-point percentages in the league, absolutely bombing it from downtown.

Therefore, to begin to get New Yorkers to like this team, I've decided to give them a nickname that will be familiar, yet different to them. Relating to the Yankees as the "Bronx Bombers," these Nets are the "Brooklyn Bombers."

New Orleans Hornets, Stern and Unfair

It seems obvious at this point that David Stern completely screwed over the New Orleans Hornets.

They are stuck with an emerging player that seemingly wants to bolt as soon as possible and a draft pick that was supposed to be much better than he is.

The way these Hornets have been dealt with has not only been stern, but it's also been unfair.

New York Knicks, D'Antoni's Disasters

I think it's obvious at this point that Mike D'Antoni is incapable of coaching a team that doesn't fit him well. He hasn't been able to utilize the Carmelo Anthony-Tyson Chandler-Amar'e Stoudemire trio as well as we thought he would—and at this point it's not looking good.

The Knicks are 10-15, a half game behind the Cleveland Cavaliers and have relied on Jeremy Lin over the past few games to get a win. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you D'Antoni's Disasters. 

Oklahoma City Thunder, Approaching Storm

You can hear it off in the distance—before a single drop of rain ever falls, you know it's going to be a doozy.

Flashes of lightning flicker out in the distance and rumbles of thunder shake the ground. Rains and wind come soon after, and before you know it the entire area is ravished by the storm that has just rolled through.

Orlando Magic, the Lame Dwights

With the Magic a team that seems to realize the fate ahead of them in this lame-duck season of sorts, "The Lame Dwights" seemed like an appropriate nickname for the time being.

Dwight Howard is likely out the door either after the All-Star break or when free agency opens up over the summer, leaving the rest of the team in shambles and without direction.

Philadelphia 76ers, the Outsiders

Currently in the NBA, there is a handful of teams considered "elite" and capable of winning a championship. Then, because of how wide open this season seems to be, there are the older, yet smarter teams totally capable of winning a title.

Then there are the Philadelphia 76ers.

Looking at this team, there's no reason to believe that they can't end up in the finals this season, but they don't fit into either category very well. Obviously, that makes them "Outsiders" to the top ranks in the league, but equally as dangerous as them as well.

Phoenix Suns, I Am Legend

Phoenix is more depressing than any other NBA team in a long, long time. Never have I looked at a team and thought that without one player there's a possibility that they would be winless.

However, with the Suns this season, Steve Nash is the team. Without Nash, the Suns are not 10-14, but more likely the worst team in the NBA. Nash is Will Smith as Robert Neville and Marcin Gortat is the dog that runs around with him. Otherwise, this team is as good as a completely empty (save for the weird mutant zombie monsters) New York City.

Portland Trail Blazers, Rip City, Repaired

Over the past few seasons, the Portland Trail Blazers have slowly been accepting the fate laid ahead of them when it came to Brandon Roy.

Because they realized what was going on beforehand, they weren't devastated by his injuries and eventual retirement. 

They drafted well, went out and got Gerald Wallace and turned LaMarcus Aldridge into an All-Star—therefore I give you "Rip City, Repaired."

Sacramento Kings, Sacramento SuperSonics

Before David Stern plays the old "switcheroo" again, making you watch his left hand while his right hand shuffles a basketball team out of town quickly and painfully, we might as well start the name change.

Seattle is hurting for another basketball team while Sacramento is hurting for any kind of money to give them a new arena. Owners are lining up to buy this team, but only if they are allowed to move them to their city of choice. Therefore, we have here the "Sacramento SuperSonics."

San Antonio Spurs, Country for Old and Young Men

With the core of the San Antonio Spurs getting older, Gregg Popovich has begun to realize what his guys are capable of and what they aren't capable of. For example, a 35-year-old Tim Duncan is not capable of playing 66 games in 120 days without completely falling apart in the process.

Therefore, Pop has decided to run his team the length of its depth, playing even his 12th man extensively at times in order to avoid killing his players over one win here and there.

Toronto Raptors, Diverse Dunkers

The Toronto Raptors, centered as the only team outside of the United States at this point, have targeted an international appeal that goes beyond just playing in Canada.

Toronto boasts a player born in eight different countries, with guys calling home everywhere from Lithuania to Nigeria to Panama and Canada, and everywhere in between.

Naturally, the "Diverse Dunkers" just makes sense for this group of guys.

Utah Jazz, Working Man's Blues

This Utah Jazz team plays the game of basketball with an edge—they're just a hard-working team doing what it takes to win games.

If they need to knock somebody around, they'll do it. If they need someone to work some fancy magic to get the ball in, they'll do it. They're a hard-working, strong-armed team that is doing what it takes to win games.

Therefore, the "Working Man's Blues" is both a reference to their terrific work ethic and their team's name; plus, it's a pretty damn good song from a gravelly voiced Bob Dylan.

Washington Wizards, the Washington Generals

This one was too easy, wasn't it? The Washington Wizards are unlike any other team in the NBA in that they have players that put up good stats (Andray Blatche, JaVale McGee), but they end up doing something so dumb on the court that it completely negates it all.

Here are a few examples: This is a clip from last year of McGee attempting to dunk over James Jones from way too far out, ending up in a charge, and this, a more recent one, is McGee hustling back on defense when his team still has the ball.

Good stuff, Generals. Good stuff.

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