Alec Baldwin NFL Honors: 3 Fake Awards for 30 Rock Star to Announce

Alec Baldwin is set to host the inaugural NFL Honors awards show, but I can think of a few awards and distinctions Mr. 30 Rock won't be handing out. As you may expect, the show will include awards like Most Valuable Player, Associated Press Coach of the Year, Walter Payton Man of the Year, etc. 

I think it's a great idea, and it'll probably be more entertaining than that lame Pro-Bowl the league gives us every year; but I've got a way to make it even more interesting.

These will never happen, but what if they did:

Off His Rocker Award

Given to the player that has demonstrated the most certifiable behavior all year

The winner is:

James Harrison

After being fined $125,000 last season, Harrison couldn't resist donating even more of his paycheck to the helmet-to-helmet fund. The NFL may as well start calling these fines "Jimmys" because they have become synonymous with the Steelers' talented but questionably sane linebacker.

Is Harrison being watched closely at this point? Sure he is, but no more than Winona Ryder would be in a jewelry store. It comes with the territory.

Are You Kidding Me Award?

Given to the player whose off the field actions were so perplexing it inspired this award

The winner is:

Sam Hurd

Dealing drugs is wrong, we all know that, but there are people in the world that are poor and impoverished who chose this lifestyle as a way out of poverty.

It doesn't make it right by any stretch, but you would expect a person in that situation to be tempted before a professional football player in the midst of a three-year, $3.9 million deal.

Hurd has to be one of the greediest and most ridiculous dudes I've ever seen. It will never cease to amaze me how he couldn't have parlayed his "aspirations" of making more money into legal investments.

Doing things the Hurd way:

1. Play high-school football

2. Play college football

3. Make the NFL

4. Sign a near-$4 million free-agent deal

5. Get busted on drug charges???

I don't care in what order it transpired, it's still crazy.

Are you kidding me?

PR Miracle Award

Given to the player whose past off the field concerns have disappeared without a trace

The winner is...

Ben Roethlisberger

Big Ben must have the best PR people and advisers in the world. Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual misconduct two times. His most recent issue was recently settled quietly for what amounted to less than a game check for the Steelers' QB.

Let's look at Ben's list...yeah that's what we'll call it:

July, 2008

Roethlisberger was accused of misconduct with a Lake Tahoe waitress in his penthouse suite.

March, 2010

Roethlisberger was accused of sexually assaulting a 20-year-old woman in Georgia in a bar, predominantly referred to as a spot frequented by college students. Roethlisberger will turn 30 next month.

I certainly can't speak to ultimate guilt or innocence as it relates to these cases, but I feel comfortable saying old Ben needs to change his decision making process.

The fact that Roethlisberger has twice been associated with such heinous acts, and still appears as a darling QB in many fans eyes, is amazing to me.

It seems Roethlisberger is not only hard to take down on the field, he's as elusive in the courts as well.

How is it that Ben Roethlisberger could maintain a better image than say, his teammate James Harrison after these types of allegations?

It's a PR miracle.