Cruel Summer: The Life of a Texas Rangers Fan

April 1st, 2007, marked a much anticipated and perhaps even hallowed rite of spring: Opening Day.

It's the type of affair that necessitates Capital Letters, the name itself an homage to the long and distinguished history of America's pastime. It's a day of optimism, really: Every team has a clean slate, and if slugger A and pitcher B can just come through, then thiscouldbetheyear!

Or at least that's the way it is for most fans.

I, unfortunately, can't relate...because I root for the Texas Rangers.

183. That's the number of days in the baseball season. That's a long time, and the Rangers  don't exactly make it pass quickly.

My approach going into this season mirrored that of seasons past: While other fans count the days until the playoffs, I count the days until the Rangers are out of contention.

This year, I figured that it'd take at least two months.

After all, the club does boast perhaps the best infield in the majors, with Mark Teixeira and Hank Blalock at the corners and Michael Young and the emerging Ian Kinsler up the middle. Additionally, while our starting pitching problems are well-documented, the bullpen is deep and solid. And for all the problems with the rotation, you had to figure Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla would be serviceable in the top two spots...or at least serviceable enough to keep the Rangers relevant through the All-Star break.

Whoops.

18. I can't be too sure that this is the exact number, but that's about how many days it took before I gave up on the 2007 Rangers.

In all my years of following this moribund (and I'm being very generous in not using a coarser adjective) franchise, I can honestly say that this is the worst version I've ever seen. Nothing, and I do mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G, has gone right.

Not only did the vaunted infield fail to hit—they stopped playing defense too. The outfield, for its part, is unspeakably mediocre, and a potentially formidable lineup now has Slammin' Sammy Sosa in the cleanup spot. 

In 1999, this would have been a great idea.

In 2007? Not so much.

As bad as the hitting has been, the pitching has been evern more Rangers-esque. For those unfamiliar with that description, it roughly equates to "abysmally, horrifically, mind-blowingly awful."

If the season ended today (as if I could be so lucky), the rotation's ERA would be the worst in history. Bravo. The silver lining is that the bullpen has been quite impressive—but the picture won't seem so rosy when four relievers land on the DL in mid-July with some kind of arm ailment related to the approximately 57,867,868 innings they've thrown to date.

So where do the Rangers go from here? If you answered "even further down," you would be correct.

The team will likely trade Teixeira and possibly closer Eric Gagne before the trade deadline...but probably not for the top-notch pitching prospects the organization so desperately needs. Fans are already calling for the head of rookie manager Ron Washington—a gross overreaction, to say the least, but not one that bodes well for the skipper's future. 

No manager can succeed with a team bereft of reliable starting pitching—especially not given the bandbox dimensions of Rangers Ballpark in Arlington and the 100-plus-degree Texas heat. Until that problem is resolved, Washington and those who follow him are doomed to succumb to the Rangers' history of mediocrity.

As for me—I can't follow the club on a daily basis; it's simply too depressing. But I do have to pass the time until college football season. For succor, I've turned to a combination of Arena Football (Dallas Desperados, baby!) and Major League Soccer (Viva FC Dallas)...while trying not to watch as the Rangers sink to the bottom of the MLB standings.

Hopefully we'll channel our malaise into an ace-caliber pitching prospect in the 2008 draft. Knowing the Rangers, through, we'll probably find a way to screw that up too.

Yup, its a cruel summer.