Ben Roethlisberger and 10 Biggest Male Athlete Fashion Fails: The Hat Edition

Renowned journalist and writer Katharine Whitehorn once wrote: "Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats and shrapnel."

So I beseech you, as you read the article, duck down because a whole lot of shrapnel is flying your way.

Click on and recoil from these, the most heinous athlete hat faux pas in history.

Honorable Mention: Spike Lee's Red Ushanka

Not an athlete, but a huge Knicks fan. 

Here he's watching his team play looking теплый yet глупый.

10. James Hinchcliffe's Canadian Hat

Hinchcliffe's dopey Maple Leaf cap, which he wore before the 2011 Indianapolis 500, makes his long angular face look, well, longer and "angularer."

And nothing against Canada or a sense of patriotism, but the hat is far more Seuss-ian than Canadian.

9. Shaq's Sedge Hat

Okay, so Shaq may have been playing a character here, but still, not a good look for someone accused of being racist against Asians.

8. Charles Barkley's Sombrero

Holy frijole!

Charles, three questions for you:

a) Why?

b) Do you realize the 50 people seated behind you can't see a thing?

c) Were you commemorating Latin Week in the NBA or mocking it?  

7. Bruce Grobbelaar's Zebra-Banded Fedora

If Tarzan ate Al Capone's hat and pooped it out, this abomination would be the result.

6. Cristiano Ronaldo Goes Pink

So, you're comfortable with your sexuality.

Duly noted.

Still a ridiculous look, Cristiano.

5. Tom Brady's Panama Hat

Brady wore this to the Derby at Churchill Downs in May of 2011.

Apparently, he was trying to ride a new trend.

The track veterinarian considered shooting him out of mercy.

4. Diego Maradona's Castro Cap

Yeah, we get it. Fidel is your chum, The United States is evil. Blah blah blah.

3. Kobe Bryant's White Hat

Alex in "A Clockwork Orange?"

Brad Pitt's artsy Euro look?

The stylist claims she was going for Tupac Shakur.

Does she know who Tupac is? Apparently she mistook him for a character from a steam punk novel.

2. Dennis Rodman in a Veil

Brings to mind the dying words of Special Forces Colonel Walter E. Kurtz.

1. Ben Roethlisberger's Fedora

Oh Ben, what were you thinking?

A respectable season comes to an end...couldn't you have capped it off with something that didn't accentuate your big doughy face and launch a barrage of cyber-world mockery?