All I want for Christmas is for naked pictures of Shaun White to stay unpurchased and unpublished.
I don't want to surf the web in constant fear that I may accidentally click the wrong link and see a naked Shaun White on top of a lady while turning to the camera and smiling.
Unfortunately, this horrifying future is one we all face.
TMZ is reporting that a photo, much like the one above but without clothes, is being shopped around to the highest bidder.
According to TMZ, there are two photos. One is of a fully clothed Flying Tomato making out in a room of people, and "the other pic shows Shaun with the same woman—sans clothes—in the middle of a missionary-style embrace on a bed...with Shaun grinning at the direction of the camera."
How big a threat to national mental health are these pictures?
The photos were allegedly taken at a hotel party after White won the 2009 Winter X-Games gold medal for Superpipe.
Apparently there were several people snapping pictures, but people close to White were "running damage control" and urging people to erase the pics.
What kind of party was this? I don't mean the naked exploits. I mean who was attending? Was this just open to anyone at the hotel? Obviously there were people in attendance that aren't close friends with White, or we wouldn't have this picture problem.
And what a problem it is. For now we can rest secure in the knowledge that no one has offered enough for these pictures to become public. At some point, though, you have to believe these pictures will be sold and become public.
Then we will all live in the fear that we are just one misclick away from finding out what TMZ has already learned.
"TMZ has seen the pics...let's just say the ginger carpet matches the ginger drapes."
And if that should ever happen, this would be me.