The Best of Joe Rogan & Mike Goldberg: Part One

Sean SchimlingAnalyst IDecember 21, 2008

While browsing the Internet, I came across this forum that read, "Quote Hall Of Fame." So I was interested and took a peak, while reading some hilarious quotes I came across a lot of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg quotes.

I thought to myself, "What kind of writer would I be to deprive my fellow B/R family members of this?"

So, in conclusion, I've included some of the best (as of right now), I will continue to browse as the day progresses!

ENJOY!!!!! I know I did!


The Best Of Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan

*Warning* Make sure to urinate before, if you haven't you are at risk of peeing yourself!

Goldberg:"I am coming out of the closet!"

Joe Rogan: "Think of leg kicks as like in a video game. The more they take, their power goes right down."

Goldberg: "I know what you're thinking, mighty ball mighty ball DEEP DEEP DEEP!"

Joe Rogan: *Does best to ignore that and continue talking about the fight*

Mike Goldberg: "He's got him in some kind of strange choke I've never seen before!"

Joe Rogan: "That's a rear naked choke."

Joe Rogan: "Karo is wide open!"

Mike Goldberg: "Diaz smells the opening."

Mike Goldberg: "You can hear the corner speaking Portuguese!"

Joe Rogan: "Uh, that's Japanese, brother"

Mike Goldberg: "I should have known that."

Joe Rogan: "You're the one married to a Japanese chick."

Mike Goldberg: "That is correct."

Frank Shamrock: "Ohhhh huge knee!"

Mike Goldberg: "Big knee!"

Frank Shamrock: "That was a huge knee!"

Mike Goldberg: "That knee was big!"

Mike Goldberg: "He wants to get in close to use that reach advantage."

UFC 68

Goldberg: "Welcome back, Randy Couture. This fight brought to you by..."

Sylvia gets knocked down in the first eight seconds*
Rogan: "Big right hand! Sylvia is down!"

Goldberg: "...Shooter. Starring Mark Wahlberg in theatres next Friday."

UFC 76 Machida vs. Nakamura

Mike Goldberg: "And here is Nakamura...entering the octagon for the first time...touching the fence for the first time."

(Joe Rogan laughs) "You running out things to say?"

Mike Goldberg: "Yeah. Kinda (laughs). You? You know, you could help out and chime in once in a while..."

UFC 79 Sokoudjou Vs. Machida

Mike Goldberg: "Because SOAKoudjou is so highly touted, you almost want to sit back and watch and SOAK it in."

Mike Goldberg: "Don't forget coming up next it's Blade the series...plenty of action, violence, vampire sexuality!"

Rogan: "Vampire sexuality, what's that?"

Goldberg: "I don't know, it was on a card they put in front of me"

UFC 84 Wanderlei Silva vs Keith Jardine

After Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva knocks Keith Jardine out
Goldberg: "The Iceman is back to his winning ways!"

"The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine vs Kerry Schall

Goldberg: "If Jardine's last name were Johnson, the nickname Dean of Mean would make no sense."

Parisyan vs Burkman

Joe Rogan: "He's getting instructions in two different languages."

Mike Goldberg: "He understands them both!"

on Travis Lutter

Mike Goldberg: "He's like the Michael Jordan of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu!"

Joe Rogan: "No, he's not"

Mike Goldberg: "Larry Bird?"

Joe Rogan: "Uhm, no."

Mike Goldberg: "Kobe Bryant?"

Joe Rogan: "..."

Couture vs Gonzaga

Joe Rogan: "Here's a beautiful left hook by Gonzaga."

Mike Goldberg: "Yup, You can clearly see his nose explode there."

Joe Rogan: "I don't think that was it actually, the thing that damaged his nose was in a take-down."

Mike Goldberg: "Oh, Gotcha!"

Clip of Randy taking Gonzaga down (not the headbutt one)
Goldberg: "Oh yeah, you're right, that's it, pardon me."

Rogan: "I don't think it was there either, I think it was in another takedown."

Goldberg: "Oh."

Clip of Randy slamming Gonzaga, which caused the broken nose due to a headbutt*
Rogan: "I believe this is what caused it, watch as he takes Gonzaga down, they both collide heads, BAM, that's it, right there."

Goldberg: "Oh, good call, good call."

on Kenny Florian after taking a groin shot

Goldberg: "... So you want to be an Ultimate Fighter?"

on "Lil' Evil" Jens Pulver vs. John Lewis

After "Lil' Evil" Jens Pulver knocked Lewis out*
Goldberg: ""Lil' Eagle" flies again!"

TUF 7 Finale

(on Diego Sanchez's conditioning)

Goldberg: "It must take a lot of energy just to keep that mean look on his face"

Random Quotes

Goldberg: "He's unrelentless!"

Goldberg: "Dana White is my bitch!"

Goldberg: "You know Roy Jones Jr. respects the hands of Forrest Griffin."

Goldberg: "And here we go!"

Goldberg: "And it's all over!"

Goldberg: " Can-He-Finish?"

Goldberg: "That eye is rocked!"

Goldberg: "Could we be blessed with a third round?"

Goldberg: "Continuing on his meteoric rise!"

Goldberg: "You know Joe, When Matt and his brother Mark Hughes were growing up they would pound each other behind the barn!"

Goldberg: "He wants to get in close and use that reach advantage."

Goldberg: "This is what happens when an unmovable force meets an unstoppable object."

on Anderson Silva's striking ability

Goldberg: "His precision is...really precise."

Goldberg: "He has excellent Muay Pie...Muay Thai."


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