NBA Legends' Funniest Quotes

Marcel SmithSenior Analyst IOctober 24, 2008

The following list is in no particular order.


Larry Bird

  • As far as playing, I didn't care who guarded me - red, yellow, black. I just didn't want a white guy guarding me, because it's disrespect to my game.
  • I really don't like talking about money. All I can say is that the Good Lord must have wanted me to have it.
  • (To Xavier McDaniel with five seconds left in tied game) I am going to make a shot right here in your face. (after he makes shot in exact spot he said) Sh**, I didn't mean to leave any time on the clock.
  • What's better? Dogs or broomsticks? I mean, will the world ever really know?
  • You know, when I played, you had men and Kevin McHale and some other players throughout the league. I think it's good for a fanbase because as we all know, the majority of the fans are white America. And if you just had a couple of white guys in there, you might get them a little excited.


Wilt Chamberlain

  • The man who won't loan money isn't going to have many friends—or need them.
  • But the point of using the number was to show that sex was a great part of my life, as basketball was a great part of my life. That's the reason why I was single.
  • When you got out there and do the things you are supposed to do, people view you as selfish.
  • With all of you men out there who think that having a 1,000 different ladies is pretty cool, I have learned in my life that having one woman a thousand different ways is more satisfying.
  • It was a different sexual situation going on in the '80s and '90s, and I did a very poor job of describing that.
  • Scoring 100 points is a lot, but I could've scored 140 if they had played straight-up basketball.


Bill Russell

  • Durability is part of what makes a great athlete.
  • The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot.


Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

  • We don't have selfish guys here, which sometimes leads to problems.
  • The constant expansion has diluted (hurt) the talent, but other then that, it is still the same game.
  • One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot make a team.
  • I think I did very well against everyone who tried to defend me.


Magic Johnson

  • Ask not what your teammates can do for you, ask what you can do for your teammates.
  • I think the game itself has gotten better over the recent years. The reason why is, I think the players are taking it more seriously and are really trying to win the game.


Charles Barkley

  • (On North Carolina missing 22 of their last 23 shots in an NCAA tournament game vs. Georgetown last year) Stevie Wonder could make one out of 23 shots.
  • (Before his race against Dick Bavetta) I have nothing against old people, I want to be one myself one day.
  • Dick Bavetta and Moses parted the Red Sea together.
  • (To Kenny Smith) Hakeem could never kick your ass cause you were too close kissing his.
  • (To Ernie Johnson) You're the boss, Ernie. The white man is always the boss.
  • (On the Portland Trailblazers serving Thanksgiving meals a few years ago) In between arrests, they do community service.
  • I love Sam Cassell. He's a great guy, but he does look like E.T.
  • (After the Atlanta Hawks announced the game's attendance was 16,000) If there were 16,000 people there, I'll walk from here to Oakland.
  • They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everyone in Finland looks alike.
  • (After being swarmed by reporters as he arrived at a Knicks game) You guys want to talk to me? I guess it's not like you have a team to cover.
  • It's kinda great to see the Celtics doing well again, 'cause that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and get spit at, get things thrown at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house.
  • (To Kenny Smith) You know the amazing thing about that game was that between you and Hakeem, the two of ya'll had 60 points, Hakeem's 51 and your nine.
  • (Ernie Johnson) - Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth your maximum effort. Charles - 20 points and 10 rebounds will get you through also
  • (Ernie Johnson) - Did they recognize you in South Dakota? Charles - Yes, they did. It was easy because I was the only black person there.
  • I've been rich and poor. Being rich is better.
  • (To Billy Crystal, the only "famous" Clipper" fan) How did you not become a Laker fan like all of the other phony celebrities?