A Sports Tribute to Dr. Seuss: A Twist on His Classic Quotes and Book Titles

Today is the 107th birthday of Theodor Geisel. Well, it would be had he still been alive.

If that name does not sound familiar to many of you, there is a good reason. Geisel was better known to children everywhere as Dr. Seuss.

As a matter of fact, even at this age today, any time anyone asks me about the last book, I tell them I can't recall the title, but that it was written by a doctor.

They never ask which one.

Geisel created so many memorable books and characters that I would like to pay homage to the man, but tie this tribute into the world of sports.

Therefore, I thought I would come up with some of his greatest books, characters and quotes and interchange a few of the words to fit with some of the craziest characters in the world of sports.

So, enjoy the article, but do not get upset when you reach the end, because like Dr. Seuss always said...

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." 

Oh, and if you don't agree with all of the selections, he also said ...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." 

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

1. Terrell Owens

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

INDIANAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 02: Terrell Owens #81 of the Cincinnati Bengals watches from the sidelines during the NFL preseason game against the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on September 2, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Ge

Dr. Seuss book: Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

T.O. version: Did I Ever Tell You How Great I Am?

The resounding answer to both is yes.

2. Barry Bonds

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

SAN FRANCISCO - OCTOBER 27: Barry Bonds gestures from his seat during Game One of the 2010 MLB World Series at AT&T Park on October 27, 2010 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: Dr. Seuss' ABC

Bonds' version: Mr. Bonds' HGH

Well, it is all alleged at this point.

Because I'm sure everyone's head gets that much larger. He looks like he came from Easter Island.

3. Rex Ryan

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - JANUARY 08: Head coach Rex Ryan of the New York Jets looks on during warm ups against the Indianapolis Colts during their 2011 AFC wild card playoff game at Lucas Oil Stadium on January 8, 2011 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Andy

Dr. Seuss book: The Foot Book

Ryan's version: The Foot Book

Some things never change.

4. Brett Favre

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

DETROIT, MI - JANUARY 02: Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings talks at a post game press conference after a 13-20 loss to the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on January 2, 2011 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: Come Over to My House

Favre's version: Come Over to My Hotel

That was after he sent some indiscreet pictures to Ms. Sterger.

5. Mike Tyson

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MILAN, ITALY - JULY 09: Mike Tyson attends a press conference held at Just Cavalli Cafe on July 9, 2010 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: Hunches in Bunches

Tyson's version: Punches in Bunches

Iron Mike has to be on every crazy sports character list. I think it is in his contract.

I, for one, do not want to make him angry.

6. Jose Canseco

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LONG BEACH, CA - JULY 14: Jose Canseco #33 of the Long Beach Armada scratches his chin in the dugout during the Golden Baseball League game against the Fullerton Flyers on July 14,2006 at Blair Field in Long Beach, California. (Photo By Christian Peters

Dr. Seuss book: The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

Canseco's version: The 500 Syringes of Jose Canseco

Jose, can you see...

...how many people you threw under the bus?

7. Chad Ochocinco

Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

CHARLOTTE, NC - SEPTEMBER 26: Chad Ochocinco #85 of the Cincinnati Bengals during their game against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium on September 26, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: I Am Not Going to Get Up Today!

Ocho's version: I Am Not Going to Shut Up Today!

Sounds about right.

8. Ben Roethlisberger

Al Bello/Getty Images

ARLINGTON, TX - FEBRUARY 06: Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on against the Green Bay Packers during Super Bowl XLV at Cowboys Stadium on February 6, 2011 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today

Big Ben's version: I Can Lick 30 %^## &*$@ Today

I'm sorry. Kids could be reading this article.

9. Charles Barkley

Getty Images/Getty Images

19 Apr 2000: Forward Charles Barkley #4 of the Houston Rockets watches the action from the scorers table during his final NBA game at the Houston Summit in Houston, Texas. The Grizzlies won the game 96-92. Mandatory Credit: George Wong/ALLSPORT Mandato

Dr. Seuss book: I Can Read With My Eyes Shut

Barkley's version: I Can Talk With My Mouth Shut.

How else do you describe the 'turbul' way he speaks?

10. Gilbert Arenas

Mark Wilson/Getty Images

WASHINGTON - MARCH 26: NBA player Gilbert Arenas of the Washington Wizards leaves the District of Columbia Court after being sentenced March 26, 2010 in Washington, DC. The Washington Wizards star recieved two years probation for bringing guns into the W

Dr. Seuss book: Ten Apples Up On Top

Arenas' version: Ten Guns In My Locker

Bang bang! I totally shot that one out of the park!

Or locker room.

11. Tiger Woods

Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

MARANA, AZ - FEBRUARY 23: Tiger Woods takes a drop on the 16th hole during the first round of the Accenture Match Play Championship at the Ritz-Carlton Golf Club on February 23, 2011 in Marana, Arizona. (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: There's a Wocket in My Pocket

Woods' version: There's a Rocket in My Pocket

Or so he texted so many hookers.

12. Ricky Williams

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

OAKLAND, CA - NOVEMBER 28: Ricky Williams #34 of the Miami Dolphins walks down the tunnel for their game against the Oakland Raiders at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on November 28, 2010 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss book: The Tough Coughs as He Ploughs The Dough

Williams' version: The Tough Coughs as He Ploughs The Pot

Sorry, Ricky. I had to go there.

13. Alex Rodriguez

Leon Halip/Getty Images

TAMPA, FL - FEBRUARY 20: Alex Rodriguez #13 of the New York Yankees stretches prior to the start if the first full team workout of Spring Training on February 20, 2011 at the George M. Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Imag

Dr. Seuss quote: "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." 

He must have been talking about A-Rod and Cameron Diaz.

14. Mark McGwire

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PITTSBURGH - AUGUST 25: Hitting coach Mark McGwire #25 of the St. Louis Cardinals watches his team during batting practice before the game against the Pittsburgh Pirates on August 25, 2010 at PNC Park in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jared Wickerh

Dr. Seuss quote: "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" 

I wouldn't anger a man with 'roid rage...

15. Dennis Rodman

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 20: Dennis Rodman attends the Battle of the Codes poker game held at Star City March 20, 2008 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss quote: "In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"

That was reportedly what Rodman said the day he dressed up like a bride.

16. Miguel Cabrera

Leon Halip/Getty Images

DETROIT - JULY 22: Miguel Cabrera #24 of the Detroit Tigers watches the ball hit to deep left center field for a ground rule double in the sixth inning during the game against the Toronto Blue Jays on July 22, 2010 at Comerica Park in Detroit, Michigan.

Dr. Seuss quote: "If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good."

Miggy should have just stayed home that fateful night a couple of weeks ago instead of going out. 

17. Michael Vick

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - JANUARY 09: Michael Vick #7 of the Philadelphia Eagles drops back against the Green Bay Packers during the 2011 NFC wild card playoff game at Lincoln Financial Field on January 9, 2011 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Chris Tr

Dr. Seuss Quote: "This mess is too big and too deep and to tall. We can't clean it up! We can't clean it up at all!" 

I guess Vick never should gotten involved in illegal dog fighting and then tried to cover it up with lies. 

18. Kobe Bryant

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 25: Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers waits on the bench during pregame introductions for the game with the Los Angeles Clippers at Staples Center on February 25, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. The Lakers won 108-95.

Dr. Seuss quote: "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" 

Sounds like something Bryant would mumble at a press conference.

19. Shaquille O'Neal

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PHOENIX, AZ - JANUARY 28: Shaquille O'Neal #36 of the Boston Celtics during the NBA game against the Phoenix Suns at US Airways Center on January 28, 2011 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Suns defeated the Celtics 88-71. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledg

Dr. Seuss quote: "This is not good. This is not right. My feet stick out of bed all night. And when I pull them in, oh dear! My head sticks out of bed out here!" 

Must be tough being over seven feet tall.

I assure you I wouldn't know.

20. Jerry Jones

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ARLINGTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 02: Owner Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys at Cowboys Stadium on September 2, 2010 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Dr. Seuss quote: "I meant what I said and I said what I meant." 

No matter how much I drank.

Take that, Parcells.