Liverpool is a club that lots of people love. They're also a club that lots of people hate. I am one of the people that hate Liverpool. Also, I am on this humor streak for some reason. So, I have gathered 10 jokes about Liverpool and brought them to you. Some of these take shots at Liverpool fans; if you get upset, sorry. It's all in fun.
10. Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: " Every time he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
9. Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
8. A father and son were eating breakfast. The father's newspaper had the headline, "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked "Is he worth it, Dad?"
The father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap."
7. A young mother was pushing her baby along the street in Manchester when suddenly a huge rottweiler dog lunged towards the pram, gnashing its teeth. The young woman thought for a moment that the dog would kill them when suddenly a man rushed over, wrestled with the rottweiler and broke it's neck with his bare hands.
Another man rushed to the scene and said, "I am a reporter and I saw everything that happened. Wait until I put the headline in my paper. It will read 'Manchester United fan saves baby from savage rottweiler!"
"No you can't write that!" replied the man.
"But why not?" said the reporter.
"Because I am not a Manchester United fan, that's why!" replied the man.
"Oh, okay then," said the reporter, "I will write Manchester City supporter saves mother and baby from savage rottweiler!"
"You can't write that either," said the man.
"Why not?" asked the reporter.
"Because I am a Liverpool fan!" replied the man.
"Oh I see," said the reporter, "How about this then, 'Scouse ******* kills family pet!"
6.Steve Bruce signed a new superkid from foreign parts. On the first day of training, Steve Bruce gets a ball a says, “You get this and kick it at the goal.” The new superkid looks a bit bewildered but carries on nonetheless.
The next day of training same thing happened. Steve Bruce says, “You get this and score a goal.” Again the kid looks bewildered but carries on.
The third day, the same thing: “You get this and score a goal.” Finally the foreign superkid gets up and says, “Boss, I speak very good English and know what to do.”
Steve Bruce says, “Sit down son, I'm talking to Heskey!”
We're going to send you the most entertaining Liverpool articles, videos, and podcasts from around the web.
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