Tiger Woods: Dear Mr. Woods, Take the Rest of the Year Off...Please

Dear Tiger,

I really thought this year was going to be different.  Newly single, new bachelor pad, new swing.  Buddhist, balanced, well-behaved.

Not exactly.

You’re a mess out there.  One Bleacher Report writer mentioned a rumor of you playing yourself in the sequel to Despicable Me.  If not, how about starring in Anger Management 2?  

Seriously, do everyone a favor and take the rest of the year off.  We don’t care that you can’t hit the fairway or make a putt outside one foot.  We do care that you’re still slamming clubs, still making things miserable for well-meaning reporters and can’t keep four-letter expletives lodged in your throat.

It all comes down to Karma, which we believe has its root in Buddhism.  You know, doing the right thing.  What goes around comes around.  Stuff like that.

Look at Michael Vick.  The guy screwed up big time.  Maybe even bigger than you.  Sure, his actions had larger legal ramifications, but the point is that Vick served his time.  Literally.  He waved goodbye to football, not knowing if he’d ever step foot on the playing field again.  When he got out of prison he talked to kids.  He gave speeches on animal cruelty.  And he waited for a second chance in the NFL.

Now that he has it, he’s making the most of it.  Vick had an MVP-worthy season.  He led his team to the playoffs.  He re-earned the respect of his peers and most of his fans.  Most importantly, he seems like a better man.

We want the same for you.  We really don’t care if you win another major, let alone another tournament.  We really don’t care if you break Jack’s record.  What we do want is for you to act like a decent human being on the golf course.  We want you to set an example.  We want you to grind even when you’re playing poorly.  Right now, you’re not doing any of these things.

So take some time away.  Take your kids on vacation.  Go fishing on Privacy.  Talk to the kids at your foundation about how you screwed up.  Talk them about family and personal responsibility.  Host clinics.  Give speeches.  Get your Karma back in sync.  Because it’s way more out of whack than your golf swing.

Professional golf will survive without you.  There are so many great players, both American and International, who can carry the load for you.  Yes, you make the game more exciting for us fans.  But not right now.  You’re a burden.  A barnacle on the bottom of the PGA Tour ship.  You’re weighing everyone down and stealing headlines from more deserving players.

So lay your tremendous ego aside and just step away.  12 months.  That’s all we’re asking. 

Pretty please.