Alexandr Dolgopolov's Unexpected Run Ends Predictably: Andy Murray Wins (Satire)

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Alexandr Dolgopolov's Unexpected Run Ends Predictably: Andy Murray Wins (Satire)
Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

— SATIRE — 

So, who is Alexandr Dolgopolov?

WHO IS THIS GUY?

Why did I not know or hear of him?

He’s Ukrainian, you don’t say? Ukrainians play tennis, you say?

Aren’t Ukrainians Russian? They speak the language, don’t they? It's not quite Russian but it's close.

But talk to me again about this chap.

How dare he play spoil-sport so?

Five sets and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga's out.

Another five sets and Robin Soderling's flying back.

Where did this newbie come from? I ought to know.

There's Dolgopolov versus Andy Murray in the quarters.

Omigosh, Dolgy looks and plays like a young Roger Federer.

The two-handed backhand’s not quite the same.

Neither is the tweener. A sidey? Are you kidding me?

Is Alexsandr Dolgopolov the next king of the court?

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Can he slice, though? You tell me.

Is that side spin or is that side spin?

He can serve and volley, and how. Murray must be feeling pretty woolly.

Andy’s sweating.

Oh no, Dologopolov beat himself—mostly. Andy did good too.

Can it be? Is he the next king of the court?

He’s got the game and he’s game too.

Can he wake up quick enough and claim his due?

A chat with Roger should do it.

His 2011 Australian Open?

Unpredictable, unpredicted. Pretty much sums it up.

Quote of the day: 
"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion." Abraham Lincoln

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