Caroline Wozniacki's Kangaroo, Mahesh Bhupathi and Leander Paes Vamos (Satire)

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Caroline Wozniacki's Kangaroo, Mahesh Bhupathi and Leander Paes Vamos (Satire)
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

—SATIRE—

Post-match press conferences are boring.

I mean, come on, who wants to talk about the match? It’s just another day at the office. Get wise, guys, we’re pros. It’s our job.

You don’t believe me? Ask Caroline Wozniacki.

The Great Dane felt that the best way to entertain her fans and journalists was to tell a little fib about wrestling a kangaroo.

The kangaroo gave the pretty No. 1 a small cut. Or that’s how the story went.

Not true. Let’s call another press conference to tell you how I made a monkey (oops, kangaroo) of the credulous media.

The blonde in Caroline mistook a treadmill for a marsupial. Now what?

Caroline wants to be a movie star. Woody Allen has not called, though.

Last I know, Leander Paes was still looking for a heroine for his Rajdhani Express.

Why look towards Hollywood when there’s always Bollywood? But then, has Paes been a brand ambassador for India’s largest export?

Will he sound her out?

The Indian Express—Mahesh Bhupathi and Paes—had their Spanish opponents riled in the second round of the men’s doubles.

Feliciano Lopez and Juan Monaco were not quite entertained or entranced by their use of the word “vamos.”

“Vamos” is interpreted as “let’s go,” or more pertinently, “Come on.”

It appears the Spaniards believed they had a patent on the word. To add insult to injury, they lost.

Leander says he’s been using the V-word for 16 or 17 years.

Paes has no idea why they were upset. But if it does throw them off their game, he will continue using it.

Sledging just crossed over into another team sport. A little “vamos” or “allez” goes a long way.

The match ended with Lopez not shaking Paes’ hand but extending the courtesy to Mahesh. Monaco shook Leander’s appendage but refused to do the same to Mahesh.

Interesting.

Well, I know for certain who are not on the short list for best sportsperson of 2011.

Now, if only Leander can get Caroline to star in his other Express.

Ciao.

Quote of the day

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.—Hermann Hesse

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