The Terrible Ten of College Football: Week Three

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The Terrible Ten of College Football: Week Three

Another great week of Terrible Ten football, but Syracuse Orange Coach Greg Robinson is proving to be a rock at the top. His conference, the beaten up Big East, stands firmly behind him.

 

1. Syracuse Orange

Giving up 500 yards on defense while losing 42-28 to the Akron Zips in the Orange home opener was a performance which impressed even the most jaded Terrible Ten observer.

After being zapped by the zany Zips, Robinson wondered if his team knows how to win. The team wondered if the coach knew how to coach. The fans wondered how the coach keeps his job.

No need to wonder if Joe Paterno and Penn State are going to try to squeeze 80 out of the sad sack Orange defense, which be cheered lustily by a Carrier Dome filled with blue-and-white-wearing fans.

 

2. The Big East

East Carolina conquered another portion of Virginia by whipping Big East favorite West Virginia. Pitt struggled with Buffalo in a boring bout of Wannie football. Louisville, fresh from its safety-scoring Kentucky whipping, picked on the poor Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles. Rutgers rested while Syracuse considered eliminating football from the university budget.

 

3. The State of Washington

"Tanking" Tyrone Willingham continued to keep his Washington Huskies in the pound as they dropped to 0-2. Washington State has been outscored 16-105 in their first two games but feel confident they can beat Ty when they face him later in the year in the epic battle of Washington. It's on November 22. Circle it on your calendars, baby.

 

4. Miami Hurricanes

The Canes blew back into the Terrible Ten with a truly terrible performance against the Florida Gators. The Glory days of the Canes are gone and they ain't coming back.

 

5. The State of Idaho

Just because they beat the Idaho State Bengals doesn't mean the Idaho Vandals will escape the Terrible Ten. No, they remain in their own private Idaho football Hell.

 

6. UTAPB

The newly combined squads of UAB and UTEP were mauled again this week, but were even more disappointed that their much anticipated jointure with SMU was cancelled after June Jones's Mustangs upset.

 

7. The New States: New York, New Jersey, and New Mexico

Called the Republic of Yoersexico by the hip, the programs within their borders (Rutgers, Buffalo, Syracuse, and dual New Mexicos) have combined for one win. Still, they are embarrassed by Syracuse.

 

8. Clemson Tigers

The terrible Tigers get no props for beating up on the outgunned brave men of the Citadel. Reports from Death Valley say that Coach Tommy Bowden is still crying dialing coaches throughout the country and uncontrollably bawling about the 'Bama game.

 

9. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

The Little Tuna Charlie Weis moves up a spot despite beating the San Diego Aztecs in a sluggish boring match. Defeating hapless Chuck Long as a 21-point favorite is not a mighty accomplishment despite the roar of the Irish faithful. When did the Aztecs live in San Diego anyway? No wonder the players lack direction.

 

10. The Memphis Tigers

After being cooked by suddenly steaming Rice, 0-2 Tiger Coach "Wild" Tommy West began singing to cheer his blue Tigers.

Take the last train to Memphis
Put on your dancin' shoes
They got a lot of good music in Memphis
That's why she's the home of the blues
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