Notre Dame Football Sucks So Badly, Irish Are Researching Schadenfreude

How Do You Spell Schadenfreude? N-O-T-R-E-D-A-M-E

Barring some kind of water-into-wine-Touchdown-Jesus miracle, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame are probably not going to see the 2008 National Championship game in football this year.  That means their title-less streak will reach a nice round 20 years. 

The last time they won was in 1988, when ESPN analyst and part-time magician Lou Holtz was at the helm.

According to this article, Bobby Burton of rivals.com cites the changing football landscape as part of the reason there has been no recent joy in South Bend, Indiana.  He says with scholarships being cut from 105 in 1974 to 85 in 1994, “yesterday’s third-string quarterback at Notre Dame might be starting at Central Michigan or some other place.” 

Yes.  It’s not because they ran a coach who got off to a poor start out of town on a rail.  It’s not because the current coach is a whiny jerk who isn’t as good as everybody thinks he is.  I’m sure it’s because there used to be a plethora of quarterbacks good enough to start somewhere who were content to be third-string for Notre Dame, but now are actually going somewhere where they can play.

Murray Sperber, a professor from the University of California, Berkely blames the television coverage.  “Greater TV coverage allowed more teams to compete nationally with Notre Dame for recruits.”  Yes.  The poor Irish haven’t won a title in 20 years because those pesky other schools are stealing their spotlight on television.

Former athletic director Kevin White has tried to remedy this by… (wait for it) softening the Notre Dame schedule.  They start play this year against San Diego State and next year against Nevada.  They also only play four road games next year.  Four! 

Wow.  Must be nice to only have to go have four road games.  I wonder what it’s like not to be tied down by the shackles of playing in a conference, and have your own contract with a major television network, and have more money from alumni than you could ever possibly know what to do with?  Poor Notre Dame. 

How do you spell National Championship?  S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E.