Jerry Lewis made only one significant film—The King of Comedy—also starring Robert De Niro. There is no doubt that the quality of Lewis’ performance is aided in no small measure by Martin Scorsese’s direction.
On the surface, the film explores the uneasy relationship between a star and his “fans.” It is a quirky, edgy film—leaving onlookers feeling just a little uncomfortable, a little claustrophobic as De Niro and Sandra Bernhard harass Jerry, a famous talk show host, by following him around, invading his office, showing up at his house and eventually kidnapping him.
That is basically how I feel about my own addiction. I am a tennis junkie.
You may find me at all hours watching grainy, often jerky live-streaming matches on my laptop or worse yet, sitting with my chin in my hands watching scores blink on a “live score” site just so I can try to keep up with a worldwide sport largely ignored in the United States.
The truth of the matter is that I secretly suffer from TOPD—Tennis Obsessive Personality Disorder.
Throughout the years I have been obsessed with particular players, starting with the body-beautiful Bjorn Borg. Currently I am embroiled in my Roger Federer phase and I have been ever since chiseled Federer defeated Sampras at Wimbledon in 2001.
Being a “fan” of someone I do not know and will never know—following every move, word and gesture—strikes me as intrusive and unnatural. When Roger loses, I feel like someone close to me died. I suffer.
This puts me on par with the crazed characters in Scorsese’s film. Yet, I am not a fool—I know my behavior is excessive and I feel guilty about it. I long to be objective.
Here is the cruel irony of being an obsessed tennis fan—being the fan of an actor allows for decades of adulation. Even fans of teams can cheer on year after year, regardless of who populates the roster.
But to reach the top in tennis is an incredible feat. To stay at the top is an even greater accomplishment. Impossibly, once on top, the fan needs the reign to go on forever. It becomes, then, not Roger Federer’s Quest for Perfection
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3 months ago
once again - you have impressed me to no bounds, 2/2 your second article and am POTD ing again
why - because its nakedly true
the desire to not really worship - but understand someone in both victory and defeat is what that separates from a true junkie to a casual observer, you can see and observe what others cant
beautiful - am working on a similar piece ... you beat me to it, hence that will wait
wonderful JA - I like your take on the game, not just reporting, but you go behind the theory and the psychology of the game and the fans -
cheers - keep writing yeah ...
from 2 months ago
You have been extremely encouraging. I am not sure [as a novice] what is normal in terms of the reception my articles have received. I find writing about tennis intensely rewarding and I love exploring the impact of the game from an outsiders perspective--ultimately, we are all outsiders...but for you and other pros to take the time to pat me on the back is so astounding to me! Feel free to offer advise about the writing and other behaviors appropriate for this kind of calling...jaa
from 2 months ago
anytime JA
one thing i make sure I dont do - is false eulogy
because it neither helps you nor me
so - if i do say something, keep in mind i absolutely mean it
take care
enjoy the us open finals in NY tomm
2 months ago
very nice article
2 months ago
although I've been a tennis fan, in the more traditional sense of the word, for many many years, since 2006 and ROGI's win at Wimbledon, I now find myself in the category of what you describe as TOPD. This "obsession" however applies only to Roger - I too will sit transfixed watching a "live scoreboard" in the absence of TV coverage; I'll get up in the middle of the night to see him play; I spend hours at RF.com and never in my life have I felt quite so passionate about someone I don't really know. I've now seen him live at many different tournaments, and actually had my photo taken with him (!!!!) - something I treasure dearly - and while I feel a personal attachment to him, it is and will always be a one sided relationship.
The incomprehensible thing to me is I am neither divorced nor lonely.......I've been very happily married for years but I just ADORE ROGER FEDERER. Fortunately, my husband tolerates my obsession !!
from 2 months ago
Karen - you are, indeed, a lucky woman. You have the best of both worlds. I have been a Roger fan for many years. 2008 has been tough on us all...but there are so many of us that we have found a way to connect. Wonderful chatting with you and sorry to be so long in finding your comment!
2 months ago
"When Roger loses, I feel like someone close to me died. I suffer."
I suffer and am traumatized until he wins again!
Good article, keep writing!
from 2 months ago
Thank you, Rose. We all suffer through the losses and rejoice when he wins!
2 months ago
fantastic peice! i completely identify with it.
what surprises and sometimes makes me sad is how everyone around you (the people who are more like casual observers) are so quick in pulling u to the ground and making judgements about your "hero" a soon as they lose a match. and they make sure they say all sorts of un savoury things in FRONT OF u..I used to react earlier...over time, i have mellowed down and understood that i should ignore them. its bad enough suffering so much when our heroes lose, but to have people being judgemental about them, if a tad too much! but in the end i dont blame them i guess...its human nature to be mean and they just dont understand how much a victory means and earth shattering a loss can be.
from 2 months ago
Thanks - sometimes I just go to bed and pull the covers over my head and try not to dream!
2 months ago
Hi JA,
I AM AN OBSESSIVE ROGER FEDERER FAN (ORFF) !
Yes, I too suffer immensely when RF looses. And hate to turn to my life for consolations.
May be I should direct my wife to this URL as evidence that I'm not the only ORFF. Not only am I a ORFF but I have been a carrier of this disease and infected many of my very close friends with it.
SO now I suffer 2 folds when RF looses, since I have to be the "shoulder-to-cry-on" for all these friends and be the realist and say.."hey we were lucky Roger took us along for the ride of our Tennis-lives. Now get ready to disembark as the ride is over...Though inside I really really hope he can do this forever.
Keep up the good work! and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
from 2 months ago
Sorry I missed your comment - thank you for sharing as well! jaa
2 months ago
I do believe I have the best of both worlds......my husband has not only "tolerated" my ROGI obsession but "enabled" me.....2008 has been MY YEAR (actually the two of us ) of hot pursuit of our HERO.......Australia, Estoril, Davis Cup in Lausanne with a couple of more events planned !!!! I've managed to get a bunch of autographs, a photo taken with him - sigh :) - and I'm HOW OLD???????????? ROG has an impact like no one else....
from 2 months ago
I still contend that you are a lucky woman!! jaa
2 months ago
I am indeed !!! Keep on writing about our ROG --- I LOVE IT !!!
about 1 month ago
Stunning work. Stunning.
I've often felt that my complete detachment from wordly 'heros' was a psychological issue.
What a relief.
from about 1 month ago
Such superlatives--you have made my day! It was a bad one because Roger lost in Madrid...although the Hawkeyes won...
This was one of my favorites...It is part of something much longer I edited to fit here. I am glad you liked it. It is something that bothers me about sports--and about the people we admire, adore, worship...whatever name you give it. Truer in sports than in other areas I think. Even in real life we don't tend to put people we know and live with or work with on pedestals.
I prefer detachment - I hate my addictions. Writing helps...doesn't it! jaa
about 1 month ago
Such superlatives--you have made my day! It was a bad one because Roger lost in Madrid...although the Hawkeyes won...
This was one of my favorites...It is part of something much longer I edited to fit here. I am glad you liked it. It is something that bothers me about sports--and about the people we admire, adore, worship...whatever name you give it. Truer in sports than in other areas I think. Even in real life we don't tend to put people we know and live with or work with on pedestals.
I prefer detachment - I hate my addictions. Writing helps...doesn't it! jaa
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