WWE's Most Overrated Dead Man: I Don't Think You Can Handle It

RipperCorrespondent ISeptember 29, 2010

The Undertaker. “This is my yard”, and “Rest in piece”, that guy. The one with the eyes that roll back, and also he sticks out his tongue much like in the way of Gene Simmons. Black hair and red eyebrows. Does a homoerotic taunt over his victims after winning a match. Him.

This one is going to give me some heat.

I don’t like it when I an article, of which I am reading, about a superstar it opens with his biography, it’s a page filler essentially. I usually skip by it and get to the point. I think I’ll do that here.

The Dead Man for me as always been extremely overrated and over praised. I’m on a mission to see who else agrees with me.

Case in point: is he deserving of the praise? I don’t think he is.

Taker has been wrestling for WWE since near the end of 1990. I had just turned 1. He’s been wrestling longer than I have been alive. That’s not enough to gain so much praise though, is it?

Let’s keep digging to find the source, shall we?

I guess we can make our way to the Dead Man gimmick. It’s boring now. If you’ve been doing the same song and dance for so long, it eventually tires.

I liked the “Big Evil” thing for a while and got a bit bored of it, when the “Dead Man” returned gunning for Kane in 2004, I thought it was a breath of fresh air, and again I got bored.

Now, I’m not asking for Big Evil to return, I’m just wondering if we can drop The Dead Man thing, well at least I wish we could (he is probably going to retire with it).

For a guy we all praise so much why have none of us looked at how generic and boring he is? His move set is dusty and old. I know he is the epitome of old school but it hasn’t changed much.

A few new chokehold-inspired moves from none other than the most popular blood sport of this generation – MMA, it’s kinda hard not to pick up a few moves from there.

It’s non-original. Justin Gabriel is doing MMA these days, sheesh. His strikes…don’t make me laugh! They’re horrible and slow. He is no striking specialist.

Did I remember his match against Mankind in the Cell at King of the Ring 1998? Yes. Do I remember Taker choke slamming Mankind through a cell? Yes. Do I remember Taker throwing Mankind off the cell? Yes.

What happened to Taker that was so career threatening again? Nothing, Taker steals the spotlight. That match was a let’s-beat-up-Foley-match because hillbillies think hardcore is awesome.

Mic work. Okay let the beating from the IWC begin now, mediocre...at best. How hard is it to sound tough when you look tough? Not hard. I think Kaval sounds less like a robot on the microphone than Taker does.

What are we, children? Oh wait. The Dead Man thing, WWE isn’t real (I’m not just figuring this out) but when I see wrestlers such as C.M. Punk, Kane, Randy Orton, and well, practically everyone cowering at the lights going off along with some pyros I kinda feel silly for watching it happen.

The guy wrestles like once a month. He’s getting old sure, has he lost his passion maybe? Ric Flair is wrestling and that guy is about to have a heart attack.

I don’t care what the argument, Taker, when he appears, only gives us about three minutes of TV time if he is making a short appearance in which he just usually scare away his opponents and stands in the middle of the screen looking all intimidating and whatnot, and this has been going on for years, not just recently. 

As long as he has been wrestling he has been winning. Super Cena, how about Super Taker? The guy puts people over only momentarily.

I don’t think I’ve ever watched an Undertaker rivalry of which didn't end in him finally getting retribution as we see him dominate his opponent, one way or another.

How about that undefeated winning streak? I hope he retires with a loss, if he goes out with having never lost at Wrestlemania, well, that’s just a jerk-off thing to do. Pass the torch, Undertaker.

I respect Undertaker for his service but that’s it. I wished that Shawn Michaels would have wrestled Triple H as his retirement match; a final DX turn would have been great.

I did enjoy the first Taker vs. HBK match but there was no need for the second, it wasn’t necessary.

I could compile more evidence to support my claim but this isn’t an article. It’s only a rant and an opinion.

I don’t want to hand Undertaker’s arse to you all so I’m hoping you’ll comment on this new rant of mine and tell me what you think. I think I know what most think. Yikes.