Tom Brady and the New England Patriots went into New York last weekend and got spanked by Mark Sanchez, Rex Ryan, and the Jets. The second half of that game was one of the worst performances I can remember from Brady's Bunch.
It was nauseating. Even more than Brady's haircut.
Here in Patriot Nation, we've had almost a week to let our stomachs settle. We've had ample time to chew on the loss, digest it, and flush it away, never to surface again.
But there are those among us who still feel the acidic sting of that regurgitative effort. For those unfortunate souls, Dr. Goodell and the NFL schedule-makers have the perfect remedy: a healthy dose of the Buffalo Bills.
Buffalo has a real shot at landing the top pick in next year's draft. To score that coveted prize, a team must first finish with the league's worst record. At 0-2, the Bills are well on their way.
So far they have the NFL's worst offense by far. They average 176 yards per game. total. They also average 8.5 points per game.
That means a touchdown and a field goal pretty much guarantees a win. Considering they're yielding 24.5 points per game, that seems more than likely.
They lost their best sack-man, Aaron Schoebel, to retirement. Now their defensive front make the Patriots pass rush look like the '85 Bears. Brady should enjoy marvelous protection. Don't be surprised if he goes the entire game without being so much as looked at the wrong way.
Lots of time for Brady means lots of time for Randy Moss to get free deep. It means lots of time for Wes Welker to wriggle free and find an open space to camp in.
It also means that as Buffalo gets desperate for some pressure, they'll start keying in on Brady, leaving them susceptible to big runs as their D-Line overruns the play. I would predict the Pats enjoying great success with screens and draws, but losing Kevin Faulk for the year pretty much squashes that.
Fred Taylor, Sammy Morris ,and BenJarvus Green-Ellis will rotate in the backfield, but all three should enjoy relative success against the Bills as they gear up to try and slow down New England's passing game.
I'm expecting anywhere from 28-40 points from the Patriots offense. So, that's half the equation.
On the flip side, the Pats haven't exactly been stellar defensively themselves. They got shredded by the Jets, and that poor second half against the Bengals doesn't look like a symptom of a blowout anymore. There's a good chance the Bills break into double-digit points for the first time this season.
Then again, they just benched their starting quarterback, Trent Edwards, in favor of the legendary Ryan Fitzpatrick. With talent like that at the quarterback position, they could be poised for an explosion.
I hope you picked up on the sarcasm there.
Fitzpatrick doesn't pose a serious threat so the Patriots can crowd the line of scrimmage and load up against the run. It could backfire eventually, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lee Evans exploits that Swiss cheese secondary for a big gainer or two, but two or three plays won't sustain the offense for an entire game.
Assuming the Bills score on a big play, maybe even two, and double their scoring output for the season, they won't be able to keep up with the Patriots. New England can score in bunches; Buffalo can't.
A friend of mine is a lifelong Bills fan, and he summed it up best, "They're a really good team. They just don't believe in scoring points."
I believe they're just bad, and while I don't believe in a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo, I do believe this:
The little blue Bills are just what the doctor ordered.