Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
Tennessee @ NY Giants (-3)
When the Titans and Giants hook up early on Sunday, you can expect one thing: something "big" will go wrong. Tennessee committed seven turnovers in a 19-11 loss to Pittsburgh last week, while the G-Men surrendered 410 total yards in a 38-14 loss in Indianapolis.
"We're sticking with Vince Young at quarterback," said Jeff Fisher, already sporting a playoff beard. "That's just a polite way to say 'we're stuck' with Vince at quarterback."
"Vince has a wealth of talent, and when all is said and done, I hope I can say I helped him realize that talent. It's the least I can do. He's made me a better coach, as well as a better skeet shooter. I can say 'pull' with the best of them now."
To beat the Titans, the G-Men will have to contain Johnson and limit his effectiveness to short gains. And, they'll have to run the ball themselves, and successfully doing so should open things up against Tennessee's No. 1 ranked pass defense.
"We certainly looked bad against the rush at Indianapolis," said Tom Coughlin. "I saw better resistance from Colts fans trying to hang on to Brandon Jacobs' helmet. I haven't seen that much fuss over a hat since Dr. Seuss started rhyming. By the way, Dr. Dre is only the second-best rapping doctor."
"Anyway, we're at home, so if Jacobs tosses his helmet into the stands again, I will let the lucky fan keep it, and Jacobs not only will be looking for a helmet, he'll be looking for a job. Hey, how is Jacobs' helmet like his jock strap? They're both empty."
In the loss to Pittsburgh, the Titans defense wasn't the problem, and performed admirably in the face of seven turnovers. This time, the Titan defense plays the bully.
Tennessee wins, 24-16