Yogi Berra vs. Casey Stengel Quote War

Yogi vs Casey Quote War: Top That     

This week we’re making the quote face-off battle between two of the funniest baseball managers of all time – Yogi Berra and Casey Stengel. Both were Yankees, one played for the other and it should be classic. We’ll try to keep it on baseball but you never know about Yogi, he sometimes wanders. We’ll see where this takes us but we’ll start off by asking Casey about the punctuality of his players:

    CS: I got players with bad watches – they can’t tell midnight from noon.
    YB: I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

Yogi, you played for Casey. Guys, give us an idea of the banter between you.

    CS: Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
    YB: Think!? How the hell are you going to think and hit at the same time?

    CS: I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting practice.
    YB: Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.

Casey and Yogi, you were great managers but not particularly organized. Give us examples of your managerial style.

    CS: All right, everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.
    YB: If you don’t know where you’re going, you will wind up somewhere else.

    CS: If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as good as we think we are,
    YB: Baseball is 90% mental – the other half is physical.

    CS: Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.
    YB: The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

    CS: Nobody knows this yet, Kid, but one of us has been traded to Kansas City.
   YB: He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light.

    CS: The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
    YB: If the fans don’t come out to the ball park, you can’t stop them.

You’ve both been honored quite a bit. Tell us what you said on those occasions.

    CS: I feel honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I’ve been thrown out of so many.
    YB: On Yogi Berra Appreciation day I want to thank you for making this day necessary.

Players and people in general have approached you for advice. Can you share?

    CS: You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
    YB: You asked me what I’d do if I found a million dollars? I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it.

    CS: There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.
    YB: If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

    CS: When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
    YB: If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

    CS: It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.
    YB: Someone told me I looked cool. I said ‘Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.’

Casey, so how’d you like having this quote battle? Yogi is tough to beat, right?

    CS: They say he (Yogi Berra) is funny. Well…
    YB: I didn’t really say everything I said.

    CS: They say he (Yogi Berra) is funny. Well…
    YB: This is like déjà vu all over again.