Why Cena's Summerslam Team Sucks

Michael FinleyContributor IJuly 22, 2010

LONG POND, PA - JUNE 06:  WWE champion and co-grand marshal John Cena (L) and Joey Logano, driver of the #20 Home Depot Toyota, talk in Victory Lane prior to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Gillette Fusion ProGlide 500 at Pocono Raceway on June 6, 2010 in Long Pond, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images for NASCAR)
Drew Hallowell/Getty Images

Before I get into the point of this article, I would like to say that this is my 1st article here on BR, and when this is published, believe me, the wrestling section, all of Bleacher report, the internet, the country, the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe, will never, eeeeeeeeeeever be the same......agayin!!!!!

Now that I'm done ripping off Jericho, I would like to give you a little pop quiz so far. Will this article be about A:Cena's Summerslam team, B:the awesomeness of Chris Jericho, or C: Rainbows and pickles? (A is the right answer, although B will give you partial credit)

 Before I get into the team, let's look at the match itself.  A 7 man tag team match 2 months from Bragging Rights and 3 from Survivor Series? No Elimination tag? And one team is composed of people who not only have never even wrestled on PPV, but only has three people who can work and two who can talk? And almost all of them are bland guys who's character consist of wearing Speedos and wanting to leave a mark on the WWE?

Now then,  here are my thoughts on the team (order based on the introduction last night):

John Cena: I will be blunt here: Cena can wrestle, but......he doesn't.  That takes care of that.

Edge: I like Edge. He can steal the show any night that some other underrated blond Canadian by the name of Y2J or  another one named after a religion isn't wrestling. But there are three huge problems with his addition in this match. 1: Edge has not been Edge since his return. His Mania match with Jericho should of been a 5 star match. Instead, it was a 3.5 star one.  2: It makes no sense for his character to team with Cena, mainly because he already tried to ambush Cena while Cena was busy with Nexus , so ether Edge turns on WWE in the match, or Cena suffers from short-term  memory lose. And I know they just beat him up on Monday, but they also beated up Melanko and he isn't in this match. Also, they're relationship hasn't exactly been baseballs and apple pie ether; look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbO-6Km8JtI . The 3rd problem I'll get back to.

John Morrison: JoMo is a double edged sword as a wrestler. He wrestles better as a face, but talks better as a heel.

I'm happy he's in a match like this (no matter how over-booked it is)  but he isn't ready just yet for this. He has been in a spot like this a grand total of zero times,  and he just seems like an odd "all-star" team member.

R-truth: Copy and paste JoMo's second paragraph above. BTW, why is there no Evan Bourne/Miz in this match?

Chris Jericho: In case you were wondering, I am a huge mark for Jericho. He can have a good match with the next guy  I am about to rant about. But why is it (this is the third Edge problem too) that Edge was Spearing him every week on Smackdown 5 months ago and speared him again 2 weeks ago, but now they are BFFs for no reason? Also, last time I checked, Cena got Jericho fired, so they aren't going out to the bar after the show.

The "Great" Khali: Now here is a guy who not only can't work, but has trouble walking!

Bret Hart: And here is a guy who can't even take a bump. I hate to see one of the greatest of all time wrestle rancid matchs with Vince and the Miz,  stutter  his lines due to his stroke, and be called in as a replacement of Bryan Danielson (Khali is HHH's replacement) due to a certain tie choking. And we all know how this match will end-a Sharpshooter by Bret in the center of the ring aganist Wade Barret.

 Please comment below if you feel the need to question or agree with the greatest in the world at what he does.(Jericho catchphrase rip-off number 2)