Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal Make Way for...Vijay Singh? [Satire]
The Bleacher report editing team and awards committee fell asleep at the wheel today when they admitted VJ Singh into the tennis forum and the tennis awards show that was held last night.
Not only did VJ Singh inexplicably appear on the B/R Tennis website, he swept numerous awards at the B/R Tennis Awards.
Singh won awards for Best Forehand Slice, Best Chip and Best Drop Shot. Nadal could hardly contain his emotions and threatened to storm out of the award presentations.
"He no play tennis, and he get di trophy... I play my bes in da tennis and di golf and he gonna take away di trophy... No!"
Amid cheers to "Vamos Rafa" from the crowd, Rafa then stood up on his table and table-hopped over to the podium were a surprised Singh became stunned.
Rafa tried to get the trophy from Singh but could not break Singh's death grip. Rafa did only what Rafa could do and clamped his teeth on Singh's earned prize. Singh finally relented.
Rafa returned to his seat with trophy in mouth, there was an eruption of cheers as he looked every bit the pit bull that he has been on court.
Singh was non-repentant about his luck at the tennis awards.
"The ball I hit is smaller, harder and it goes a lot further than tennis' best could ever hit. I am going to get cornered by the press and I had a choice between a tennis racket or a golf club, I am going to choose the golf club every time."
Roger Federer was up to his usual PR self.
"Well, you know, I mean, he is a great golfer but that does not necessarily mean he is a tennis great, you know. I mean, he never challenged me for the US Open because we never play the same US Opens."
"I am pretty sure I can beat him on grass and I am, you know, definitely confident on hard courts although I never seen him play on clay you know. Definitely Rafa can beat him around any bunker, you know?"
"I mean you know, my friend Tiger might have taken these awards but um... I guess you could say he's been into other things. But like Rafa has said, you know, it should be interesting to see if Bleacher Report can actually confirm that Golf and Tennis are two different sports, you know.
I mean, if they don't know, they should, you know. Well, I have to go...got to tee up for the French Open. VJ Singh is unseeded so he might end up being a 'lucky loser' ".
The B/R team could not be reached for comment as they were busy uploading hockey scores into the cricket section.
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