ANDRE ETHIER FACTS
(as I found them)
1. After the Dodgers hit 4 straight home runs on 9-18-2006 Andre came up and flied out against Trevor Hoffman. He just felt bad for Trevor and couldn't stand to see him cry.
2. Andre, not Ned Colletti, orchestrated the Manny Ramirez deal because he felt he could fix a hole in Manny's swing. Result: Manny is hitting over .350 as a Dodger.
3. The most historic blunder in Major League history? Bill Buckner in the '86 Series? No, it was the Athletic's trade of Andre Ethier for Milton Bradley and Antonio Perez. (Antonio who?)
4. Andre Ethier only signed a baseball contract after a lot of weight loss and a successful career as a professional wrestler. Ever heard of Andre the Giant?
5. Andre is a natural pitcher capable of 300 wins in the big leagues. He just finds it more entertaining to throw 110 mph fastballs from 350 feet away rather than 60 feet 6 inches.
6. In a former life, Andre Ethier threw out Ty Cobb at the plate.....Twice.
7. Andre Ethier predicted Kirk Gibson's historic 1988 World Series Home Run before it happened. His prediction was at breakfast one morning in 1985.
8. When Andre Ethier made a pilgrimage to Mecca, Mecca bowed at HIS feet.
9. Andre Ethier was one of the guys who trotted around the bases with Hank Aaron in 1974. Lost tapes of the Home Run caught him saying, "See? I told you to use your wrists more".
10. Eric Clapton lost a "cutting heads" guitar competition to Andre Ethier. (Very few realize that with a bearded disguise Andre was the lead guitar for ZZ Top).
11. Andre Ethier gave Roy Hobbes batting instruction.
12. Andre Ethier is the best thing since sliced bread. (Coincidentally, Andre INVENTED sliced bread).
13. The Dodgers are planning an Andre Ethier Bobblehead Night in 2010. Bring a truck if you go that night. The doll will be cast in solid gold and stand 8 feet tall.
14. Andre is very generous. So much so he allows opposing pitchers 5 balls instead of the customary 4. (True story).
15. When on the road last week in Arizona, Andre Ethier had a hotel suite with Dan Haren serving as his butler, housemaid, chef, chauffer to and from the games and personal batting practice pitcher.
16. During an Arizona spring training game Andre Ethier threw Jose Reyes out at the plate. Reyes was trying to score in Port St. Lucie FLORIDA!
17. the Bruce Willis movie "Unbreakable" is based on the life of Andre Ethier.
18. Andre Ethier forced Robert E. Lee's surrender at Appomattox to end the Civil War.
19. C.C. Sabathia wants to play in Los Angeles so he will never have to be embarrassed pitching to Andre Ethier. (Also it is rumored he wants a few pointers from Andre on his curve ball).
20. Barrack Obama has officially announced his selection of Andre Ethier as the United States Secretary of Awesome.
21. 92% of the players listed in the Mitchell report tested positive for high levels of Andre Ethier.
22. Andre Ethier's given name is Cassius Clay.
23. The Virgin Mary gave birth to Andre Ethier, but you've probably only heard of her adopted son.
24. Broadcasters often refer to the "metaphorical" 5 run Home Run. Andre Ethier will prove it is no longer just a metaphor.
25. The "chaos theory" states that if Andre Ethier swings a bat in Los Angeles, the force can cause a hurricane off the coast of North Carolina.
26.Due to Andre Ethier's incredible range, it has been suggested that he patrol the outfield alone with Kemp and Ramirez moving to the infield. This hasn't happened only because Matt and Manny want to marvel at him from up close rather than being so far away.
27. JD Drew left for Boston because he knew Andre Ethier was going to beat him out anyway.
28. Andre Ethier once threw a ball errantly high to home. That ball is now known as Haley's comet.
29. Ever watch the FOX show "24"? Jack Bauer fears Andre Ethier.
30. The reason Andruw Jones hit so poorly in Los Angeles was because he couldn't take his eyes off of Andre Ethier in the dugout.
31. On the 7'th day God rested. That same day Andre Ethier played and hit two singles, a double and two home runs!
32. Very few know that Andre Ethier is a natural right hander yet he throws left handed. If he were to ever throw right handed the sheer speed of the ball would break the space time continuum and send him back to the late Jurasic period. Andre Ethier has an irrational fear of dinosaurs, so he throws left handed.
33. Announcer Bob Costas carries a Mickey Mantle baseball card with him at all times. In heaven Mickey Mantle is never without his Andre Ethier card.
34. When Andre Ethier plays golf, Tiger Woods offers to be his caddy - -Actually he begs but "offers" sounds nicer.
35. Ted Williams had his body frozen using Cryonic technology with the hope that one day he could see Andre Ethier play.
36. Andre Ethier was Mr. Miyagi's guru.......Wax on, Wax off.......
37. Andre Ethier could play every position himself and win the Dodgers a World Series. The only reason the Dodgers send out the other 8 guys is to be sure Andre doesn't get lonely.
38. There has been a civil lawsuit filed in a Phoenix Arizona court against the Mexican company Dos Equis. It was filed because ANDRE ETHIER is the most interesting man in the world.
39. In 2001 Barry Bonds had a bad potato peeling accident and needed an emergency blood transfusion. Being a giving soul Andre Ethier was the only volunteer. Bonds went on to hit 73 Home Runs that season.
40. Andre Ethier was the little boy who stuck his finger in the dyke and saved the entire region known as Holland.
41. Andre Ethier once fired Donald Trump and then threw him out at home from the right field corner.
42. Alex Rodriguez was going to sign with the Dodgers before the 2007 season but only if the team agreed to trade Andre Ethier away. Alex wanted to be the star of the team.
43. Although Andre Ethier was born and raised in Phoenix Arizona, his National Monument was built in upstate New York. You probably know it as the Hall of Fame.
44. Few fans know that Andre Ethier was originally drafted #1 by the Chicago Cubs directly out of Little League. He decided against signing at that time, however, because he was too busy inventing penicillin in a lab he had put together in 5'th grade.
45. As a child, Willie Mays kept a poster of Andre Ethier on his bedroom wall.
46. Andre 3000 of the band "Outcast" named himself as a tribute to Andre Ethier and his projected lifetime hit total.
47. Barrack Obama's energy plan revolves around harnessing the force created by Andre Ethier's swing and converting it into low cost energy to keep the elderly warm on cold winter nights.
48. Everyone knows that a Honus Wagner baseball card is the most valuable card ever produced garnering millions at a recent sale. Far fewer fans realize that the card has such a remarkable value only because if you squint your eyes and look at the card just right you can see Andre Ethier in the backround.
49. Dodger fans don't leave games early to beat the traffic. They leave early to avoid being struck and killed in the parking lot by an Andre Ethier walk off Home Run.
And finally Andre Ethier fact number 50........ My sister thinks Andre Ethier has a great bottom!
All facts used in this blog were found on the World Wide Web and in no way indicates or indicts the auther of said blog. Oh yea, except the great bottom part. That was a direct quote!