Should The UFC Fire Mike Goldberg and Hire Youtube Sensation Pruane?

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Should The UFC Fire Mike Goldberg and Hire Youtube Sensation Pruane?

When I think back on all the great Mixed Martial Arts Commentators, many great names come to mind.

For years, commentary teams have been a crucial dynamic in the sport of MMA. Teams such as Bas Rutten and Stephen Quadros or Jim Brown and Bill "Super foot" Wallace... were entertaining and informative to listen to in their own way, and added much to the proceedings.

 But for several years now, UFC commentary has been somewhat lacking… Joe Rogan is usually an excellent commentator; consequently, the imbalance lies with a man by the name of Mike Goldberg. His commentary has come close to ruining many of my favorite UFC events and it is my opinion that the UFC finally needs to do something about it. The answer to this problem is none other than Youtube Sensation… Sexman Pruane…

No one... no one I say... comes even close to the awe inspiring, highly sophisticated and esoteric word play that is so eloquently woven together by none other than Sexman Pruane... For those of you not yet initiated to the world of Sexman Pruane, let me first start off by saying... go to www.YOUTUBE.com and type in "Pruane" and watch some of his masterworks. He has a video in which he straight up pwns... one "Father John" during a heated debate about the validity of the UFC as a legitimate sports organization and also has an incredibly insightful take on UFC 100...

Pruane's insights are not limited to Mixed Martial Arts alone... he also has several other video blogs... Although I am not sure how, he is also apparently affiliated with the rap star 50 cent in some way... they have a video in which they are together... which only adds to Pruane's Legend.

Some Pruane Facts:

Pruane’s face is an unusually clever joke perpetrated by god or nature, according to Pruane’s official Youtube account he is from Canada… also judging from his wall… he likes the movie Watchmen and… the cartoon show South Park. Pruane believes that Brock Lesnar is good for the sport of MMA… insisting that “every sport needs a bad guy… boxing had Mike Tyson… and… and well UFC has Brock Lesnar… what else? Basketball… Kobe Bryant was like their bad guy… when he raped somebody…” This is pure commentary gold folks.

Pruane’s voice sounds like a Jewish girl drowning…. With sh*t in her mouth… But you know what? …the kid can turn a phrase… and is still better than Mike Goldberg. Some might claim that Pruane represents what is referred to as “the problem with youtube.” Youtube while being an excellent source of entertainment… gives people like Pruane, who would otherwise be complete recluses… an opportunity to share their “face” with the world… which many might consider to be a “bad thing.”

  I for one disagree with this assertion. Knowing that Pruane exists… and imagining what hardships he must have endured throughout his life… makes me feel better about myself. It makes me feel as though the hand I was dealt,  was by no means, as shitty as Pruanes…

What can Pruane teach us?

He can teach us many things about ourselves… how to overcome adversity… how to transcend an awkward phase that puts Dustin Diamond’s (aka Screech from the show “saved by the Bell”) to shame… From the bottom of my heart I fully support Pruane in his effort to unseat Mike Goldberg… and will continue my support as long as it takes. It is in this gesture I request that they fire Mike Goldberg and replace him with Praune…

Can you imagine the epic “back and forth” that would transpire between a half baked Joe Rogan and a game Sexman Praune cranked up to 11 on pixie sticks and mountain dew…? The viewer would actually look forward to hearing the commentary as oppose to just turning the volume down and watching the fight… like I often am compelled to do once Mike Goldberg starts putting his two cents in…

So in conclusion… I think this is the only choice we have… we must unseat the Mike Goldberg dynasty… and usher in a new era of prosperity… with the Sexman Pruane and Joe Rogan Reign of hilarity…

 

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