Blazers Chemistry Review No. 1

Team success is dependent on zillions of variables, only some of which are controllable. We human types know this but prefer to boil things down to a single factor. Its easier on the noodle.

Last season Portland's single factor for success was the team's "ability to stay healthy." That was all well and good, but this is a new season. Worrying about injuries is so 2008. We want something new to fret about. The Blazers have given us one: team chemistry.

After a preseason loss (Professor?) Joe Freeman of the Oregonian issued the team an F in Chemistry . It was Freeman's chemistry-like the class! concept that is the inspiration for this feature.

We will grade Portland's chemistry with a little help from some of the greatest scientific minds/educators ever to exist. This feature will run until we can't take it anymore.

Get out your beakers and bunsen burners, or whatever the kids are using to do science these days. Lasers and crystals perhaps?

Previous Five Games: Two wins (HOU, @OKC) - Three losses (@HOU, DEN, ATL)

Quote that sums it up: "We just gotta figure this out as soon as possible."-Brandon Roy after losing to the Atlanta Hawks .

Verdict: Bill Nye the Science Guy reluctantly gives you an Incomplete ...this time. He understands that the season just started and you have some new people. However, he likes to hold his students accountable. This is the one and only time he will make an exception. He looks pretty angry about your attempts at chemistry, actually. You might want to steer clear of him for a while.

Credit to ET Online for that picture. His eyes follow you!