This Is Not a Joke: Mark McGwire Named Cardinals' Hitting Coach

Michael Fitzpatrick by Senior Analyst Written on October 27, 2009
WASHINGTON - MARCH 17:  Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling (R) is sworn in while former major league player Mark McGwire (L) and Baltimore Oriole Rafael Palmeiro listen during a House Committe session investigating Major League Baseball's effort to eradicate steroid use on Capital Hill March 17, 2005 in Washington, DC. Major League Baseball (MLB) Commissioner Allen 'Bud' Selig will give testimony regarding MLB?s efforts to eradicate steriod usage among its players. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images) (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Before there was Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and Manny Ramirez, Mark McGwire was the poster boy for steroids in baseball.

McGwire transformed himself from a tall, lanky rookie into baseball’s version of the incredible hulk in just a few short years.

McGwire was fortunate enough to play during MLB’s "Don’t ask, don’t tell" era, otherwise the 70 home runs he hit during 1998—now known as "The year of the steroid"—might never have happened.

It’s a good thing that Barry Bonds came along and hit 73 home runs in 2001, otherwise we’d have a steroid user holding one of the most sacred records in a game that is considered to be our national past time.

Just yesterday, McGwire taught all steroid era players a lesson on how to emerge from exile.

Simply keep your mouth shut, disappear for a few years, and then they’ll allow you back as a coach.

Yup, that’s right, a coach.

McGwire was named the St. Louis Cardinals’ new hitting coach yesterday afternoon during a press conference held by Tony LaRussa.  

What would you have given to have been a fly on the wall during McGwire’s interview for the job?

Cardinals’ front office: “Mr. McGwire, could you explain how your stats improved so much in the late 90’s and what advice you give to our younger players who are also looking to improve?”

McGwire: “Sure.  Well in the mid-90’s I started experimenting with any form of performance enhancing drug I could get my hands on. This allowed me to significantly bulk up and all those warning track fly balls I hit in the late 80’s and early 90’s were now going out of the park.  Testing for PEDS is far more stringent these days, but I’m sure we could figure something out for our younger players”.

It’s going to take decades for baseball to fully get over the despicable actions taken by the games biggest stars over the past 10-15 years. 

We’d be kidding ourselves if we thought otherwise.

However, MLB finally appears to be moving in the right direction in their attempt to fully eliminate steroids from the game.  Testing is more widespread, and penalties for testing positive for PEDS are far more severe.

Sports writers even seem reluctant to allow players who openly admitted using steroids during their careers entrance into the Hall of Fame.

McGwire isn’t banned from the game—he’s not Pete Rose or anything—so his appointment as the Cardinals’ new hitting coach is not violating any rules.

However, I’m no PR expert, but I’m thinking that now might not be the best time to name Mark McGwire as the St. Louis Cardinals’ new hitting coach.  

Forgiveness is always a good thing. But, sometimes it’s not prudent to forget…at least not just yet.

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Mark McGwire as Cardinals' hitting coach:

  • Good idea
  • Bad idea
  • Terrible idea
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Mark McGwire as Cardinals' hitting coach:

  • Good idea

    68.2%
  • Bad idea

    4.5%
  • Terrible idea

    27.3%
  • Total votes: 22
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written on October 27, 2009 Game Recap

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